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The Talk of the Toon

Filed: Thursday, 17th November 2005
By: Gerry McDonnell

A few years ago, you couldn’t turn the television on without hearing Bob Hoskins say, “It’s good to talk”, Jose Mourinho may not be a chubby Cockney, but he shares Bob’s love of the spoken word.

Jose has recently engaged in verbal sparring with Arsene Wenger; daily ‘tit for tat’ remarks were exchanged, with Wenger playing the role of the ‘Tat’.

Mourinho then turned his attention to Sir Alex, offering this gem, “If I lost three games on the trot, I’d expect to be sacked.” As Chelsea have now lost two consecutive games, there’s every chance that Roman Abramovich may have one hand on the P45.

Chelsea are leaking goals, Drogba is suspended and Crespo is out of favour while he works on his singing career. Newcastle have won their last four matches; back the Toon Army to win or draw at 2/1.

If you look up ‘value’ in the dictionary, you’ll find it just before Wigan. The Latics are sitting 2nd in the league, they’re on top of the recent form table and they’ve won their last five matches in all competitions without conceding a goal.

Arsenal may be breathtaking on their day, but it’s not been their day away from home all season. Wigan are available at 10/3 to collect all three points; merry Christmas.

I was shocked to hear of the Old Trafford bugging controversy. Carlos Queiroz was allegedly heard to say, “Rooney, get on the left wing, 4-5-1, 4-5-1”. That rumour is probably untrue, this is a fact; Wayne Rooney ran the show for England against Argentina, he’ll be a decent player when he fills out. United are the real deal, get on at 4/6.

David O’Leary has been the master of the excuse this term, “The boys gave me everything out there” has been used. The obligatory, “The ref cost us the game” has also had an airing, the Villa are one defeat away from the return of, “You can’t expect too much from them, they’re just babies.” Sunderland can gain revenge for the Villa nicking their three best players, back the Mackems at 11/8.

Birmingham City are very much like the wife, they’ve done nothing at home for six months. City’s inability to perform in front of their own fans stems from a lack of firepower up front. Forssell hasn’t scored a league goal all season and Heskey hasn’t put the onion in the bag since August. As every experienced chef knows, you can’t make an omelette, with two puddings.

There’s always a few specials floating about on the weekend, Super Soccer have the following:

“R.S.V.P.” - Rooney, Shearer and Van Persie all to score 20/1
“M.C. Hammer” – Michael Carrick to score two or more goals 33/1
“Waiting for the S.P.” – Stilian Petrov to score the last goal 15/2
“H.P. Soars” – Henrik Pedersen to score with a header 20/1
“P.C. gone mad” – Peter Crouch to score at any time 11/10

Quote of the week

“How did Everton get on?” - Wayne Rooney’s first words after the win against Chelsea, captured on the Old Trafford bug.

Stat, you’re a liberty

Arsenal have lost every match they’ve played after an International break this season.

Acc of the week

Man Utd; Liverpool; Sunderland; Everton; Bolton - The five-fold pays a juicy 35/1

Weekend Betting

Tottenham v West Ham
Sunday 20th November 13.00

Tottenham 8/11; Draw 9/4; West Ham 10/3

Get on: Draw

West Ham were forced to sell Jermain Defoe and Michael Carrick to Spurs when they were relegated; the Hammers got their own back though, they also sold them Freddie Kanoute. It’s three without a win for Spurs, make that four.

Match Special: Benayoun to score at any time 7/2

Wigan v Arsenal
Saturday 19th November 12.45 - Live on Sky

Wigan 10/3; Draw 9/4; Arsenal 8/11

Get on: Wigan

Wigan are on a roll, Arsenal are poor on their travels. It all points to the Latics.

Match Special: Wigan to win 1-0 9/1

Charlton v Man Utd
Saturday 19th November 15.00

Charlton 7/2; Draw 12/5; Man Utd 4/6

Get on: Man Utd

Man U have beaten Charlton in their last four meetings by two goals or more. The Addicks have lost their last two matches, easy pickings fur United.

Match Special: Wayne Rooney to score two or more goals 11/2

Chelsea v Newcastle
Saturday 19th November 15.00

Chelsea 1/3; Draw 10/3; Newcastle 13/2

Get on: Draw

Chelsea have conceded goals in their last five matches; the Geordies are on fire.

Match Special: Emre to score at any time 5/1

Liverpool v Portsmouth
Saturday 19th November 15.00

Liverpool 2/5; Draw 11/4; Portsmouth 13/2

Get on: Liverpool

Liverpool have won their last three matches ‘to nil’. It’s been 54 years since Pompey won at Anfield; a real no-brainer.

Match Special: Luis Garcia to score at any time 6/4

Man City v Blackburn
Saturday 19th November 15.00

Man City 5/6; Draw 9/4; Blackburn 11/4

Get on: Draw

The last three meetings between City and Rovers have ended in a draw, both teams are in great nick, another tight match awaits.

Match Special: Match to finish 2-2 14/1

Sunderland v Aston Villa

Saturday 19th November 15.00

Sunderland 11/8; Draw 2/1; Aston Villa 7/4

Get on: Sunderland

Sunderland and Villa have met 10 times in the Premiership, the away team has never won. Aston Villa have conceded the most goals away from home in the league this season, it all points to a home win.

Match Special: Sunderland to score three or more goals 5/1

West Brom v Everton
Saturday 19th November 17.15 - Live on Premiership Plus

West Brom 11/8; Draw 2/1; Everton 7/4

Get on: Everton

West Brom have lost their last three matches without scoring. Everton have won their last two matches 1-0. It’s all too easy.

Match Special: Everton to win 1-0 7/1

Middlesbrough v Fulham
Sunday 20th November 16.00 - Live on Sky

Middlesbrough 8/11; Draw 9/4; Fulham 10/3

Get on: Draw

The stats say that Boro can’t get motivated for the visit of lesser teams, their only wins at home have came against Arsenal and Man Utd. Fulham haven’t won on the road this season; goalless draw.

Match Special: No Goalscorer in the match 8/1

Birmingham v Bolton Monday 21st November 20.00 Live on Sky

Birmingham 8/5; Draw 11/5; Bolton 7/5

Get on: Bolton

Bolton have won their last four matches 1-0. I’ve spotted a pattern.

Match Special: Bolton to win 1-0 6/1

Please note that the opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, nor should be attributed to, KUMB.com.

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