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Having taken an extended Christmas break, it is something of a relief to retrieve the quill and get back to some scribing. The destination of the Christmas Quality Street tin is currently testing the elasticity of Auntie Maud’s hand knitted festive offering and it will be a pleasant change to focus on athletic pursuits, even if I am only observing them from a seated position.

After the Boleyn transformed itself into an aural impression of Arsenal’s old arena for the visit of Brighton in last week’s FA Cup third round, it is back to the bread and butter of the league programme. Sky seem to have temporarily abandoned us meaning we get a 3pm Saturday afternoon kick off as we welcome London rivals, Fulham to the East End.

I don’t think there is much mileage in me going through my usual player by player analysis of the opposition as I carried out the same job less than a month ago. For those who need a refresher, click here. Instead, I think we should take a look at what they’ve been up to since we jumped on the East bound District line after our Saturday lunchtime show down on Christmas Eve Eve.

Christmas at the Cottage

Like a man who had the good foresight to treat the missus via the Ann Summer’s January sales, Fulham have seen a decent set of draws. They were given the potential banana skin of being the first team to visit The Valley under the stewardship of Pards and came away with a respectable point. The scoreboard flashed 2-2 at the end of the 90, where Fulham had taken the lead with a McBride effort but had gone into the break a goal behind. The equaliser came from a Franck Quedrue volleyed effort from inside the six yard box, though the cross came from a Michael Brown free kick that had been rather fortuitously won by Thomas Radzinski. It is also worth noting that Charlton’s second goal came via a defensive mix up, something all too common on the road with the Cottagers.

Their New Years Eve Eve fixture saw them remain in the capital to take on local rivals, Spartak Chelsea. Again, the 2-2 scoreline was evident, the Premiership’s 15,000 goal was netted by converted midfielder, Moritz Volz before they again went behind with a goal from Chelsea’s hefty midfielder (not surprisingly via a deflection) and a headed Drogba effort leaving Carlos “Kickaball” Bocanegro to pounce on a blocked effort from McBride nearing the end of the game. This result continued Fulham’s convincing run of appearing to be the Champion’s bogey team.

On the day traditionally set aside for hangovers, they ground out a disappointing 0-0 at home to Championship bound, Watford, with little to report bar the injury to Antti Niemi. The atrocious conditions no doubt contributed to the general malaise but no matter how bad any fan at Craven Cottage thought their day was, I doubt any of them would have swapped it for West Ham’s result.

We can take some comfort from the fact that their away league form has not been great; they have only managed one victory (at St James Park) though they have dug in for 6 draws from 11 on the road, a skill that they have mastered in recent months. They currently sit 12th in the league, with a points tally that is superior to our own by 9 points.

Their cup run also resulted in the chance for a replay as they went to face a cup bogey side, Leicester City. The result was a rather predictable 2-2, though in this game they broke the going ahead, then behind pattern taking the lead twice. Goals again came from McBride and Volz and Brown was again the creator of the opening goal. It should be noted that they fielded a pretty much full strength side, though as we shall see in a minute, the term best available may be a better description rather than full strength.

Personnel Issues

Fulham have suffered enough injuries this season to prompt a much worse set of results and sufficient excuses to justify them. For their visit on Saturday, they will be missing on a long term basis, Jimmy Bullard, their influential midfielder and both Claus Jensen and Papa Bouba Diop seem to be permanently suffering minor inflictions. The back line will be depleted by the loss of first choice keeper, Antti Niemi and centre back, Zak Knight who has fractured his jaw, cleverly presenting the time honoured excuse that his brother did it, a tactic that has seen me out of trouble with my Mum on many occasions during my formative years.

They have also dipped their toe into the transfer market, initially by letting their club captain, Louis Boa Morte defect to a better life in the East. The club are rumoured to be trying to replace him and the names of our own Matty Etherington and Everton’s Simon Davies are circling the press as possible targets.

They have strengthened their forward line with the acquisition of Vincenzo Montella, on loan from Italian side, Roma. The Italian international is nicknamed L’Aeroplanino (Little Aeroplane) as a consequence of his trademark goal celebration and his 5ft 8 frame. Injuries curbed his progress at Roma though ominously for us, derby goals were his speciality and he sealed his place in Roman hearts with four against Lazio in a 5-1 victory in 2002.

Fulham are also on the verge of securing the services of attacking midfielder, Clint Dempsey, signed from MLS side, New England Revolution, having got through the work permit problems that all foreigners have when trying to get into this country. If he plays against us on Saturday, we’ll find him a pacy opponent with several wacky goal celebrations under his belt. It is worth noting that both new signings have had no experience of English football, which may explain why Fulham were able to persuade them to head to Craven Cottage.

Welcoming both signings to the club will be chief striker, Brian McBride who is the club’s top scorer at present having contributed seven to the Fulham cause so far. He will look forward to a striking partner in Montella and a howdy partner in fellow countryman, Dempsey. The club appear to be making wage bill space by trying to push the underachieving Collins John round the M25 to Watford, so if we don’t see him at the weekend, then we’ll get another couple of chances in future weeks.

In respect of in form players, ze German, Moritz Volz is in a rich vein of form, seemingly revelling in his new role in the middle of field as his recent goal tally has confirmed. Michael Brown is also adapting well in his role as the new captain, where he has been instrumental in orchestrating the midfield, though it will be interesting to see if the promotion will curb his two footed tendencies in the future.

Our Mob

I think that I have a fairly good handle on what we are up against, the gaps in my knowledge concern what we are going to put out to face them. A decent discussion on Curbs performance so far took place on the Premium forum this week and unsurprisingly mixed views abounded. The difference in performance between his inaugural game against Man Yoo and the last league outing which I’ll try not to mention could not be further apart but there is a definite pattern of deterioration in both results and entertainment value since his appointment.

It is difficult to judge our new manager, and therefore gauge how we are going to play, primarily because it is still early days but also because he is still essentially playing with Pardew’s squad. It seems to me that the emphasis is on keeping it tight at the back (which makes the Reading result all the more alarming) and there has been a tendency towards solid (particularly in trying to pack out the centre of the park) and experience (as demonstrated by the inclusion of Dailly and Sheringham in the starting line up).

We have been as busy as anyone in the month so far and there is clearly a few more players to join and the possibility of one or two shipping out before midnight on 31st. Only then we will be able to start to measure Curbs and just how effective a job he is doing.

A few more selection uncertainties must have arose in last week’s performance in the cup. Although the opposition was not as strong as we can expect in the league, Mark Noble and Carlos Tevez put in performances that were equal to any other that have been played out in their relative positions this season. I did not feel that there was much to Carlton Cole’s overall game but he popped up with a striker’s lifeline, a goal, which may mean he deserves some sort of chance at the weekend.

Similarly, our new signings may get a look in, the sum of money that we paid for Boa Morte should mean he gets his league debut against his old club, no doubt to a chorus of boos, providing of course, that Fulham can bring enough fans to muster up a whole chorus. Curb’s intention for Nigel Quashie will also be interesting, it would send out some serious signals if he were to start on Saturday in respect of whose place he takes.

Fatidic Projections

Overall, you can see my problem in trying to predict the score of a game when I can’t even work out our starting line up. One thing is certain, that this is a huge game. If we are looking to survive, we are going to be after another 20+ points and hence require seven or eight wins. With our away form and the fixtures (Old Trafford, the Corporates) and the fact that we have Chelsea, Liverpool and Bolton to visit us before May, anything less than a win in this one means we are starting to look stranded. On a brighter note, if we can get a victory and assume that Wigan lose at Stamford Bridge and that Portsmouth do us a favour at the Riverside, we could be right back in the running by Saturday tea time.

If you follow the pattern of Fulham results, this has got draw all over it. If you follow the pattern of our league results, well, let’s not even go there. So I am going to follow my heart and my dreams and go 2-1 Irons (with Luis on the scoresheet).

More importantly than that, I am going to follow the West Ham, over Land and Sea. Although I’ve done my bit in cup runs, play off finals, in Europe and whenever we’ve turned over L’Arse or Trottenham Hotsquits, Saturday is when they really need me (and you). I truly hope that in contrast to last week (and as a result of me and all the others getting our spot back in the Centenary) that we can raise the roof and drum up some points and it would be especially sweet if the players could give us something to pin our hopes on.

Enjoy the game. Iiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooonnnnnnnnnns

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