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After two games every few days over the last couple of weeksPreview Percy has had a few days break from preview writing. He's back, and, well, much the same really. Unfortunately. Here's his look at the visit of Sheffield United on Monday night...

And next we return to home territory where we will play host to Sheffield United. Kick-off is at 6pm with BT Sport picking this one out of the hat for coverage. Put me down for an early dinner then Matron – and I’ll skip the apple crumble. The people from Eyes up Mother Brown will be on duty from about 5:30 onwards which means that they will be prevented from interacting with the real world for a few hours, which is no bad thing.




So Sheffield United then. Well for a while it looked as if they might threaten Derby’s record for worst Premier League team ever but a few wins in recent weeks have put paid to that particular avenue of potential pleasure. Their opening season run of two points from 17 games was in danger of rivalling Sean Bean’s acting ability (think deciduous forest but more wooden) as the worst thing to come out of Sheffield.

Top tip: If you ever get the chance to see “When Saturday Comes” fast forward through the dreadful waste of celluloid to the end credits where you will find a note placed at the publisher’s insistence that confirms that the magazine of the same name had nothing to do with the appalling embarrassment that has just finished. Not seen it? Lucky you. How can I describe it. Think of a football film with no redeeming features whatsoever. Then put Sean Bean in it. Yup That bad.

As mentioned they have picked up most of their points since the turn of the year having won three of their last six 1-0 at home to Newcastle, 2-1 away at Man Utd and 2-1 at home to fellow strugglers West Brom. The other three ended in defeat: 3-1 at home to Spurs, 1-0 at Man City and 2-1 at home to Chelsea. That leaves them rock bottom of the heap with 11 points from 23 games. That’s 14 points shy of Newcastle who are currently in the safe seat. Grim times then.

One might have thought that in their current position the owners might have had their metaphorical finger poised over the “eject” button when it came to the position of boss Chris Wilder. However, he is probably using up copious supplies of the goodwill reserves built up over the past few years, firstly by virtue of his being a lifelong supporter, and secondly by virtue of his having lead them out of the third tier.

Funny that they had ended up in League One having managed to extort millions out of us on the grounds that Tevez was the sole reason they had been relegated. The relegation exposed the whole farce for the hypocritical money grab that it was. Still those reserves of goodwill will only last for so long and, assuming that they don’t find some senile old judge to fall for the words of a journo with a ghost-written book to sell on the strength of the result this time around, Wilder may find himself queuing up with other lifelong supporters come May.

It’s been another nice break for Daisy, the socially-distanced support-bubbling personal assistant with the beautiful smile. Although there was a lot of talk when the transfer window opened of them definitely bringing in two on loan, and despite a list of players having been handed to the owners, it seems that prospective signings all found somewhere else to be when their agents tried to get in touch on deadline day.




All of this has left Daisy to be sitting back in the Avram Grant Olympic rest Home For The Bewildered VIP Spa Complex, awaiting the arrival of a masseur whilst supping on a long cool drink. The way things are going she is in for a nice second half of the season. Daisy did leave me a small note before heading off. Apart from asking my drinks order for when I get to the spa, Daisy also pointed out that not only is the Sheffield United record this season the worst In the Premier League, it is in fact the worst of all 92 teams in the top four divisions. Thank you Daisy – large G&T please.

There was some talk of a move for Billy Sharp to Derby. However, with no new arrivals and a squad sufficiently short-handed on a number of occasions to have been comprised of fewer than the maximum 20 allowed, nobody was allowed to leave. Sharp is their second top scorer in the league with 3 with 7 of his 11 league appearances coming off the bench.

At the top of the goalscoring charts is David McGoldrick who has 5 in 21 in the league. You may recall he picked up the FAI player of the year award in 2019 which he celebrated by announcing his retirement from international football a couple of months later. Blades’ boss Wilder was fulsome in his praise for the striker the other day saying what a really good bloke he is and all that. It was a slow day at the press conference, clearly.

Bored of them? Me too, so let us move on to the wild and wacky world of Association Football. And well done to the idiot sending abusive tweets to the family of Mike Dean, thus transforming someone who has consistently cheated the paying public over the years into some sort of victim. Dean asked for this weekend off citing a need for a break after a run of matches. Fair enough Mike – take the next 30 years as far as I am concerned. The martyrdom of Dean deflected attention from the fact that he should have been looking at some form of suspension on the grounds that his performances, even by his own warped standards, were well below the level that anyone involved in the game has a right to expect. Instead he’ll get a week or two off and come back to make another set of decisions completely off the chart while everyone shrugs their shoulders again.

Elsewhere Mo Salah won a penalty against {Insert name here – this is a cut and paste template to save time every week} where he went down far too easily having received the lightest touch on his {Insert part of body here}. The football gods definitely got their revenge for their cheating antics with ‘keeper Allison being in spectacularly fine form, his kicking having been responsible for defeats at Man City and Leicester City. His aim certainly wasn’t true. Klopp was at his usual blame-shifting best after the Leicester game where the home side managed to stop laughing at their opponents for 12 minutes at the end of the game to take the points. According to Klopp there were no fewer than three players offside for Leicester’s first goal, as opposed to the “none” he might have said had he not been lying through that expensive dental work.

Talking of the cheating scousers brings us neatly on to us by virtue of the fact that a win on Monday will take us above them. More of that in a minute. But first the Cup match. Well the first half was messed up by injuries disrupting, well everything. Ogbonna’s was unfortunate, as was having to replace his replacement in the form of Diop, for whom Fredericks deputised. We did sit back but it was hardly backs to the wall time even if Fabianski had to make the one proper save of the half.




Having sorted out the injuries and everything we were more on the front foot in the second period though we failed to make the most of it. Extra time was the lottery it always is and having gone a goal down in the first period we didn’t have enough in the tank to get the equaliser. Just a shame the otherwise impressive Dawson couldn’t quite get his angles right at the end of normal time. Incidentally, the match was well-refereed by Paul Tierney who went about his work diligently, honestly and unobtrusively. A lesson for the fourth official Mike Dean. I don’t suppose he will heed it.

Yarmolenko became another casualty, bringing young Odubeko into the fray. He looked a little overawed and late on he became the second sub to be subbed on the evening. A while back I noted the flurry of output from the club’s media department praising the youngster to the skies and I suggested that this might be some sort of “buttering up” exercise to prepare us the for the not-very-surprising prospect of us not signing a replacement striker once Haller had gone, the subtext being “we already have a replacement”. Odubeko may well come good but there is a reason he hadn’t been used up to now. Tough on the lad but it will be a measure of both his own attitude and mental strength and the man management skills of Mr. Moyes and his coaching staff as to how he bounces back.

Looking forward to Monday and the injuries picked up last week will prove testing for our somewhat lightweight squad. Mr. Moyes has described himself as being “hopeful” that Antonio will be fit. Now one could take that at face value of course but, if my admittedly unreliable memory serves me right, every time I have heard the word “hopeful” in conjunction with Antonio’s fitness he has failed to appear for the match concerned. For that reason I am less than “hopeful” that the lad will appear.

Ogbonna and Yarmolenko will both be non-starters but Diop’s crock on the noggin seems to be less serious than first was thought, though there may be protocols for such injuries to take into account. Balbuena was shepherding a calf problem but for which we may have seen him in the cup match last week. This leaves us a bit short of central defenders if any more injuries occur. Arthur and Randolph are also still a while away from returning to contention. The lack of numbers may see a start for Fredericks who, in the last couple of games, has looked good going forward. On the plus side Lingard will return o the squad after his administrative absence which will at least give a brighter outlook on the attacking options.

So prediction then. The Antonio conundrum is a worry, though most sources say he has a 75% chance of being ok. I’m going to run on that basis. A quiet word from Mark Noble on how satisfying it would be to help send this lot down wouldn’t go amiss pre-match. There will be a couple of players in there who may not be starters when all are fit but they should told what an opportunity this is for them. I have wavered between optimism and caution on this one but on the whole, with Lingard back on the manor I think that we will have too much for them so the £2.50 that I cannot put towards a self-rewarding pint once I have had my COVID-19 jab because the Swan and Superinjunction is still bloody shut will instead be going on a tight win. I’ll meet you outside the vaccination centre Mr. Winstone – make it 2-1 to us.

Enjoy the game!




When last we met at The Olympic: Drew 1-1 (Premier League October 2019)

Snodgrass gave us a deserved lead before the interval. We then took our foot off the pedal and handed them the initiative which saw Mousset equalize. We couldn’t regain the momentum and were hanging on a bit. Roberto-geddon was just around the corner….


Referee: Simon Hooper

Was probably as much a victim of VAR ineptitude as we were last year. Being on the wrong side of play he relied on Stockley Park to spot the handball that put Brighton 2-1 up. Or the shirt pull in the very same incident. Was hung out to dry by Andrew Madeley in the bunker who presumably was watching something on Netflix instead of the match. Prior to that Hooper was in charge in the 5-1 defeat of Hull in the League Cup in which he allowed a number of shocking challenges to pass unpunished.


Danger Man: Billy Sharp

Another face clutcher who has a habit of notching goals against us.


Percy’s Poser

The Manchester Evening News provided last week’s headline:

DIY woman reveals XXXX XXXXXXXXXX hack – but qualified XXXXXXXX do not approve…

Well done to Mrs. Eloko Bella-Neechi of Kirby Cross who spotted that the missing words were “sock decorating” and “painters”. Obviously.

This week Yorkshire Live had a sad tale to relate. And by “sad” I mean “hilarious”. Spot the missing words out of this one:

Fury as Sheffield residents trapped in XXX-XX-XXX by XXXXXXXXX take matters into their own hands to escape”

Good luck everyone!

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