The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

[ageing hammer]

I see Britain's Andy Murray is back to being Scottish again

[Dover KUMB fan]

As the Cell door closes & the lights go out, Rolf Harris dropps to his knees & sobs uncontrollably. Suddenly from the pitch black behind him, he hears a rich jamaican baritone voice that starts to sing...
"Did you think I'd leave you crying, when there's room in my bunk for two"

[Georgee Paris]

I know its no laughing matter and its not a joke or anything but Vanessa Felz!! That is well sick Rolf!

[Dover KUMB fan]

I know its no laughing matter and its not a joke or anything but Vanessa Felz!! That is well sick Rolf!

Yeah I thought that, wasnt fussy was he? I couldnt help but think of him in his Aussie accent whispering "Come on Vanessa, fart & give us a clue"

[ham34mer]

My favourite sex position is the "WOW".....

That's the one where I flip your MOM over!

[psychoscoredthelot]

^^^ close the thread - the best mum joke ever !!!

shame its in American though

[psychoscoredthelot]

My grandpa said that we youngsters rely on technology too much.

I replied "no, you do" and unplugged his life support.

[Tristan Shout]

Vannesa Feltz has stated today, she can still almost feel Rolf's hand on her leg as it crept up her calf, under her breast and on to her thigh

[ageing hammer]

Be a great advert with a picture of Vanessa Feltz and Rolf.


" Should have went to Specsavers "

[Bamber Gascoigne]

Rolf Feltz Vanessas Harris?

[china hammer]

Most Embarrassing Semi since I watched Brokeback Mountain with my Dad

[chalks]

Last time I saw a Brazilian facing that many shots he was jumping a ticket barrier at Stockwell

[West Ham Dave]

The last time Germany faced such little resistance, was in 1940, as they marched into Paris

[Arch Dandy]

Worst Brazil Semi performance since Pele got the Viagra contract

[Dover KUMB fan]

Lots of Germans lying low in Brazil today.
Not the first time that has happened eh?

[Suffolk Iron]

Three Ways to Win an Argument.




1. Have a v*gina.
2. That's it!
3. YOU WIN!

[ageing hammer]

A few years ago a p**** was up in court for shooting dead his red setter dog.

When asked to explain himself he said he had read in a newspaper that

the Ayatollah Khomeini was offering 5 million pounds to anyone that would kill Rushdie.

[hammer etc]

No longer available in Brazil.

[Dover KUMB fan]

Breaking news!
Disgraced TV star Harris is Dyslexic.
ROFL !!

[Burningaham]

The Archbishop of Canterbury and The Royal Commission for Political Correctness announced today that
the climate in the UK should no longer be referred to as "English Weather".

Rather than offend a sizeable portion of the UK population, it will now be referred to as "Muslim Weather".
(Partly Sunni,but mostly Shi'ite)