On the way home last night I saw a woman being assaulted by three men.
Naturally I waded in to help.
She stood no chance aganst the four of us.
The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
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ageing hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Sauce! wrote:On the way home last night I saw a woman being assaulted by three men.
Naturally I waded in to help.
She stood no chance aganst the four of us.
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Paddy O'Hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
MAN: Waterloo please
TAXI DRIVER: The station?
MAN: Well I'm a bit late for the fukkin battle
---------------------------------------------------------------
MAN: Bottle of water please
WAITER: Still water OK?
MAN: Haven't changed my mind
TAXI DRIVER: The station?
MAN: Well I'm a bit late for the fukkin battle
---------------------------------------------------------------
MAN: Bottle of water please
WAITER: Still water OK?
MAN: Haven't changed my mind
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Paddy O'Hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Our local flasher, Dirty Derek, was thinking of retiring. But has now decided to stick it out for another year.
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Paddy O'Hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
A bus full of wives crashed on the way to a picnic. There were no survivors.
Each husband cried for a week, but one continued to cry for a further 2 weeks. When asked, he replied miserably "My wife missed the bus"
Oh tomorrow is Valentines day.............
Each husband cried for a week, but one continued to cry for a further 2 weeks. When asked, he replied miserably "My wife missed the bus"
Oh tomorrow is Valentines day.............
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Sauce!
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Did you hear about the German butcher who started putting sea birds in his sausages?
Things took a tern for the wurst.
Things took a tern for the wurst.
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Eggs'n'nuts
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
As it's Valentines day, I'm booking a table for me and the lovely Ms. Eggs tonight. Hopefully she'll be able to pot a few balls!
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1875Hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
My Doctor sent me to see a dietician for advice on losing weight.
She said I should start with a healthy breakfast as it's the most important meal of the day.
I said bollox it's not even in my top five.
She said I should start with a healthy breakfast as it's the most important meal of the day.
I said bollox it's not even in my top five.
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vietnammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
f*** off :lol:Sauce! wrote:Did you hear about the German butcher who started putting sea birds in his sausages?
Things took a tern for the wurst.
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psychoscoredthelot
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
when i had that vasectomy thing i thought it would stop my wife from getting pregnant but all its done is change the colour of the f***ing baby
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Monkeybubbles
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Me and the missus went to a party last night, got absolutely trashed, had a wild night.
This morning, I plucked up all the courage I could, turned to her and said: "listen love, don't get upset, but your mum tried to have sex with me last night".
She went mental, shouting that THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN!
"Ah ok", I said, "in that case, maybe you should always wear make-up".
This morning, I plucked up all the courage I could, turned to her and said: "listen love, don't get upset, but your mum tried to have sex with me last night".
She went mental, shouting that THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN!
"Ah ok", I said, "in that case, maybe you should always wear make-up".
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Tenbury
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don't burst my bubble
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
A female weightlifter goes into the Doctors and says...
"I've been taking steroids for so long now, I've grown a cock".
"Anabolic?" says the Doctor.
"No, just a cock" She replied.
"I've been taking steroids for so long now, I've grown a cock".
"Anabolic?" says the Doctor.
"No, just a cock" She replied.
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psychoscoredthelot
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psychoscoredthelot
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Hammer.CA
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I'm worried about the wife, she keeps singing 'Auld Lang Syne' over and over again.
She's at the hospital now being treated in the Burns unit.
She's at the hospital now being treated in the Burns unit.
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delbert
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I can't stop chuckling away at that........psychoscoredthelot wrote:i took to animal cruelty like a duck to lighter fuel
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psychoscoredthelot
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-DL-
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Someone just threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me. Luckily my injuries were super fish oil.
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uptonparkhurst
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Q: Why do Irish men always wear 2 condoms during sex?
A: To be sure, to be sure.
A: To be sure, to be sure.