The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

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ageing hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by ageing hammer »

Stadium of light: "They think it's all over"

Ethiad Stadium : "It is now" :raver:
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by SiamHammer »

97% of women kiss with their eyes closed - and that's why it's nigh on impossible to identify a rapist! :?
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by SiamHammer »

I saw a stand up comedian the other day who's reply to being heckled by someone in the crowd was this little gem:-

"if you want my comeback, you'll have to scrape it off your mothers teeth!"

Possibly the best line I've ever heard and no one dared heckle thereafter.... :twisted:
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by lewisham-mer »

I got stopped by one of those market researchers the other day.

She said, "Do you mind if I ask you ten short questions?"

I said, "Okay, go on then."

"Have you ever suffered from a blackout?" she asked.

"I don't think so," I replied.

She said, "And, finally, question ten."
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by lewisham-mer »

Talent competition for people with IBS...

"How do you Solve a Problem like My Rear?
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by west ham15 »

Yesterday Rio Ferdinand was at home, .. 'knock knock' .. "who's there?" .. "Geoff" .. "Geoff who?" ........ "Geoff Shreeves"
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by trick88 »

west ham15 wrote:Yesterday Rio Ferdinand was at home, .. 'knock knock' .. "who's there?" .. "Geoff" .. "Geoff who?" ........ "Geoff Shreeves"
:lol:
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Dover KUMB fan »

A friend of mine was recently killed after taking an 'E'
Those security guards in the countdown studio don't p*ss about!
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Dover KUMB fan »

Just found an excellent Indian restraunt & tried their speciality 'Pelican curry'
It tasted really good, but the bill was enormous!!
:oops:
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by DoubleDave »

:thup:
west ham15 wrote:Yesterday Rio Ferdinand was at home, .. 'knock knock' .. "who's there?" .. "Geoff" .. "Geoff who?" ........ "Geoff Shreeves"
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by ageing hammer »

Another Ageing Hammer original coming up:

When climbing Mount Everest recently I decided to try their new restaurant they have at the summit.

The food wasn't bad but I thought the prices were a bit steep. :lol:
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by west ham15 »

ageing hammer wrote:Another Ageing Hammer original coming up:

When climbing Mount Everest recently I decided to try their new restaurant they have at the summit.

The food wasn't bad but I thought the prices were a bit steep. :lol:
Bloooooooody hell they are getting worse AG
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by vietnammer »

ageing hammer wrote:Another Ageing Hammer original coming up:

When climbing Mount Everest recently I decided to try their new restaurant they have at the summit.

The food wasn't bad but I thought the prices were a bit steep.
Just read that out to someone at work. Verdict: Rubbish :lol:

(he's a Norwich fan so what does he know)
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by ageing hammer »

It's the CRAP joke thread guys it's meant to be rubbish ( at least that's my excuse and I am sticking to it ) :D
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by ageing hammer »

I kid you not the first Irishman ( check this out if you want ) to climb Everest was Pat Falvey who was a building contractor, that my departed dad used to work for. When I heard he was planning to conquer Everest I cracked a joke to my then retired dad that Falvey failed in his bid just 50 feet from the top. My dad asked what had gone wrong and I told him...............he ran out of scaffolding.

:D
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Georgee Paris »

The English F.A have confirmed that Duran Duran are to release England's Euro 2012 song....

'His name is Rio and he watches from the stand'
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Dover KUMB fan »

Son: "Dad, how do you feel about abortion?"
Dad "Ask your sister"
Son" But I don't have a....."
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Dover KUMB fan »

Apparently there will be no cold buffet at Donna Summers funeral. The caterers are doing some 'Hot stuff' instead
:oops:
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by englebert »

Dover KUMB fan wrote:Son: "Dad, how do you feel about abortion?"
Dad "Ask your sister"
Son" But I don't have a....."
:lol:
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by trick88 »

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

_______


I asked God for a new car for my birthday, I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a car and asked for forgiveness.
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