The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
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- ageing hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Stadium of light: "They think it's all over"
Ethiad Stadium : "It is now" :raver:
Ethiad Stadium : "It is now" :raver:
- SiamHammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
97% of women kiss with their eyes closed - and that's why it's nigh on impossible to identify a rapist!
- SiamHammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I saw a stand up comedian the other day who's reply to being heckled by someone in the crowd was this little gem:-
"if you want my comeback, you'll have to scrape it off your mothers teeth!"
Possibly the best line I've ever heard and no one dared heckle thereafter.... :twisted:
"if you want my comeback, you'll have to scrape it off your mothers teeth!"
Possibly the best line I've ever heard and no one dared heckle thereafter.... :twisted:
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I got stopped by one of those market researchers the other day.
She said, "Do you mind if I ask you ten short questions?"
I said, "Okay, go on then."
"Have you ever suffered from a blackout?" she asked.
"I don't think so," I replied.
She said, "And, finally, question ten."
She said, "Do you mind if I ask you ten short questions?"
I said, "Okay, go on then."
"Have you ever suffered from a blackout?" she asked.
"I don't think so," I replied.
She said, "And, finally, question ten."
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Talent competition for people with IBS...
"How do you Solve a Problem like My Rear?
"How do you Solve a Problem like My Rear?
- west ham15
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Yesterday Rio Ferdinand was at home, .. 'knock knock' .. "who's there?" .. "Geoff" .. "Geoff who?" ........ "Geoff Shreeves"
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
:lol:west ham15 wrote:Yesterday Rio Ferdinand was at home, .. 'knock knock' .. "who's there?" .. "Geoff" .. "Geoff who?" ........ "Geoff Shreeves"
- Dover KUMB fan
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
A friend of mine was recently killed after taking an 'E'
Those security guards in the countdown studio don't p*ss about!
Those security guards in the countdown studio don't p*ss about!
- Dover KUMB fan
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Just found an excellent Indian restraunt & tried their speciality 'Pelican curry'
It tasted really good, but the bill was enormous!!
It tasted really good, but the bill was enormous!!
- DoubleDave
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
west ham15 wrote:Yesterday Rio Ferdinand was at home, .. 'knock knock' .. "who's there?" .. "Geoff" .. "Geoff who?" ........ "Geoff Shreeves"
- ageing hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Another Ageing Hammer original coming up:
When climbing Mount Everest recently I decided to try their new restaurant they have at the summit.
The food wasn't bad but I thought the prices were a bit steep. :lol:
When climbing Mount Everest recently I decided to try their new restaurant they have at the summit.
The food wasn't bad but I thought the prices were a bit steep. :lol:
- west ham15
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Bloooooooody hell they are getting worse AGageing hammer wrote:Another Ageing Hammer original coming up:
When climbing Mount Everest recently I decided to try their new restaurant they have at the summit.
The food wasn't bad but I thought the prices were a bit steep. :lol:
- vietnammer
- Bucky the beaver
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Just read that out to someone at work. Verdict: Rubbish :lol:ageing hammer wrote:Another Ageing Hammer original coming up:
When climbing Mount Everest recently I decided to try their new restaurant they have at the summit.
The food wasn't bad but I thought the prices were a bit steep.
(he's a Norwich fan so what does he know)
- ageing hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
It's the CRAP joke thread guys it's meant to be rubbish ( at least that's my excuse and I am sticking to it )
- ageing hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I kid you not the first Irishman ( check this out if you want ) to climb Everest was Pat Falvey who was a building contractor, that my departed dad used to work for. When I heard he was planning to conquer Everest I cracked a joke to my then retired dad that Falvey failed in his bid just 50 feet from the top. My dad asked what had gone wrong and I told him...............he ran out of scaffolding.
- Georgee Paris
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
The English F.A have confirmed that Duran Duran are to release England's Euro 2012 song....
'His name is Rio and he watches from the stand'
'His name is Rio and he watches from the stand'
- Dover KUMB fan
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Son: "Dad, how do you feel about abortion?"
Dad "Ask your sister"
Son" But I don't have a....."
Dad "Ask your sister"
Son" But I don't have a....."
- Dover KUMB fan
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Apparently there will be no cold buffet at Donna Summers funeral. The caterers are doing some 'Hot stuff' instead
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
:lol:Dover KUMB fan wrote:Son: "Dad, how do you feel about abortion?"
Dad "Ask your sister"
Son" But I don't have a....."
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
_______
I asked God for a new car for my birthday, I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a car and asked for forgiveness.
_______
I asked God for a new car for my birthday, I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a car and asked for forgiveness.