Little things that irritate you

[trick88]

Stupid f*cking chavs in my office, the closing ceremony just came up again in conversation and a 21 year old lad just said, yeah the best part was probably one direction or taio cruz (1. It wasn't the best part but maybe his favourite and 2. He's not a 12 year old girl) .. But I did congratulate him for coming out.. And as for the little tarts in here that keep banging on about calories, diets, face lifts, botox and the main problem is there average age is about 20!!!

[vietnammer]

Why does the wife ring me up at work to tell what she has been doing all day or what she is going to do?

Do I care....really.....if she has been to shop or going shopping.

But doesn't hearing the voice of the one you love make your day that bit easier?

Mine doesn't have to ring me to tell me she's shopping, the banks in Saudi text you every time the debit card is used. I once rang her to see if she was ok as it hadn't gone off for two hours.

[Kitt the car]

My colleague who was out celebrating his a-levels last night not turning up for work on time.

Fair enough, if you're going to be late/not turn up for work/turn up for work drunk/hungover but at least let me know, so myself and our other colleague know where we stand and how to plan the day. Just ran around doing all his work only for him to roll up just now and say 'I feel awful' not even a thank you/sorry I'm late.

What is worse is that he is one of our company partners son's so can't do much about it.

Prick.

[Philosophical Dan]

What is worse is that he is one of our company partners son's so can't do much about it.

Prick.

Did he drive to work?

[Kitt the car]

Did he drive to work?

The one thing I will give him credit for, left his car in Bournemouth and got the train.

I can not stand drink drivers and those who use their mobiles whilst driving.

[rare as rockinghorse shat]

I can not stand drink drivers and those who use their mobiles whilst driving.

How you meant to order a kebab on the way home from the pub?

[dmh]

Spitting in the street and litter bugs.
Grrrr....!

[Lord Snuffsbury]

Stupid f*cking chavs in my office, the closing ceremony just came up again in conversation and a 21 year old lad just said, yeah the best part was probably one direction or taio cruz (1. It wasn't the best part but maybe his favourite and 2. He's not a 12 year old girl) .. But I did congratulate him for coming out.. And as for the little tarts in here that keep banging on about calories, diets, face lifts, botox and the main problem is there average age is about 20!!!

Where the hell do you work, McDonalds?

[trick88]

Where the hell do you work, McDonalds?

Nah work for BT, so even worse haha!

[jimmy dean]

Women, they call, you miss the call by about a second, you call straight back and they don't pick up. What the **** is that about?

Slightly different but along same lines. Yesterday im out Window Cleaning and get a text from her " Why dont you pop round for a cuppa ?"....."Ok ill just finish off here and ill be round,be about 20 minutes"

Then about 30 seconds later i get "Well dont bother then...ill be out by then!!!!!"

[Hambrosia Stu]

^^ Jimmy Dean, that's women's "logic" in a nut-shell!

Women,

Yep

As for them calling you... I get at least one call from my missus everyday. Despite the fact we live with each other, she can't last a whole working day without hearing my voice (bless her!). Which would be fine if she actually had something to say to me. Most of the time the phone rings, I answer, and she says something like "Hi, it's your annoying call of the day..." and then expects me to start some sort of conversation, often whilst one of my colleagues is stood there waiting for me to get off the phone so we can carry on the work-related conversation that was interupted by my phone ringing...

Worse is that it always seems to be when I'm having my lunch. It's hard enough as it is, where I work, to actually have a lunch break without some fecker interupting you and wanting something, and I've said to her countless times don't ring me between 1 & 1.30.. so she rings at 5 past one, just as I've finally gotten rid of everyone and have just settled and taken a bite out of me sarnie...

[sendô]

The word Karma.

Whatever happened to "What goes around comes around"?

[Kitt the car]

How you meant to order a kebab on the way home from the pub?

If you are asking that question you are not doing it right kebab's are the for walk/stumble home, or if you are in central London...the sodding night bus.

[ageing hammer]

The word Karma.

Whatever happened to "What goes around comes around"

That's been put away in the box with " The wheel is always turning "

[delbert]

The word Karma.

Whatever happened to "What goes around comes around"?

You can blame Boy George for that one. He invented the word because"what goes around comes around" was reminding him he was only one wrong cock away from dying an AIDS infested death.......

[Philosophical Dan]

Well I've learned something today.

[Hammers Dad]

You can blame Boy George for that one. He invented the word because"what goes around comes around" was reminding him he was only one wrong cock away from dying an AIDS infested death.......

And there I was thinking it was a Hindu word!
Cheers Delbert

[Hambrosia Stu]

The word Karma.

Whatever happened to "What goes around comes around"?

Not quite the same thing, although the word karma is most often used in that way, but I get your point

The one that gets me is "moving forwards". What happened to "in the future.."?

[Harlow Hammer]

Management speak

For example:

Low hanging fruit
Blue sky thinking
Thinking outside the box
Moving forward

Love playing Management Speak bingo in boring meetings!

[rare as rockinghorse shat]

I always had 'thinking outside the box' as a standard expression, rather than a new age lingo.

'Touch base' is the f*cking worst.