Little things in life that make you smile

[Greatest Cockney Rip Off]

cup of tea and toasted tea cake

You are Percy Sugden and I claim my five handjobs.

[badabing]

Until he sits to close to your cup of tea and you cave his head in with a pitchfork...

superb, made my morning that, well played sir.

[pablo jaye]

Freezing time would be the best superpower in my opinion. Although there would be the draw back of aging whilst time is frozen, it could have an advantage.

Initially, I'd set up a camera and w*nk off into a bird's mush... then freeze time. I'd re-gather my stamina and go again. I'd do this again and again until I'd given up bothering to count. What you would end up with would be a six hour long cum shot video with the girl getting absolutely showered, becoming more cum than woman. At the same time my hair and beard would be growing out and turning white as I visibly aged on screen and died at the end.

People would forever talk about the eternal cumshot that claimed a man's soul.

You need to read The Fermata by Nicholson Baker .....

[the celestial insect]

Some of you may know that i look after a large municiple garden in Brighton. One of the most enjoyable apect of my job is encouraging wildlife...anything from frogs, toads and newts to pollenating insects, butterflies and birds up to foxes.

However, one of the most rewarding bits is a family of carion crows....mum, dad and last years baby. They're ever present in the garden and i always give them a handful of fish food pellets when i'm feeding the fish.

Now i presume that mum is siting on eggs and the baby is either around still or has left. But one of the 3, i presume to be the male, has suddenly got very friendly. He's even started coming into the shed and helping himself to fishfood !!!!

I've been giving him a few soaked biscuits which he buries for later and i can probably get within 6 foot of him. I'd love to get his complete trust and be able to hand feed him.

An absolutely incredible animal....you can see him working things out.

Puts a smile on my face every single day and makes my fantastic job so much worthwhile

Great story, and sounds like the kind of job I wish I'd had, rather than crappy office politics etc.

[r99c]

Yep, crows are very intelligent indeed. It wouldn't surprise me if one day he does muster up the courage to go over to you.

[Burningaham]

happy 9th KUMB birthday to me,
happy 9th KUMB birthday to me,
happy 9th KUMB birthday to meeee . . . .

happy 9th KUMB birthday to me.

hip, hip . . .

[fjthegrey]

This t-shirt I just bought.

[WHU Independent]

Visiting the vets to buy the 5Kg bag of special cat food that one of my cats needs to eat to live and finding out that the staff have been doing a bit of research and have managed to get me involved buy 9 get no 10 free offer out of their own initutive.

They back dated my card, got me a free bag in and I walked out with 2 x 5k bags. As a bag costs me close to £60 I was well chuffed and it made me smile

[prince_huggy]

Made me smile too.I love cats and a bargain, so wayhay!

[Algarve Hammer]

I have just finished making this as a first birthday present for my granddaughter.

I think it came out rather well and it's put a smile on my face.

[rare as rockinghorse shat]

That's lovely, Algarve. Your granddaughter will love it (and appreciate it more as she grows up!)
Great work.

I should know....

[Algarve Hammer]

Thanks rars.

[Hammer Laffers]

A work colleague. Who give us all no end of laughs with her stupidity at work.

Today's classic:

Her: "I've burnt my mouth"
Me: "on what?"
Her: "A salad"
Me: "how did you burn your mouth on a salad?"
Her: "I got it out the fridge and thought it was too cold so I microwaved it"


Yes, she microwaved a salad

[bubbles1966]

For the Girls thread

[fjthegrey]

I just ate a ridiculously large portion of fish and chips with a saveloy and then an enormous slice of cake covered in whipped cream. I feel grotesquely full, almost to the point of sickness.

Splendid.

[WHU Independent]

Going to visit my mum and finding out that she cooked what I considered to be the best Bread and Buttered pudding of all time - plus custard!

Stale bread buttered on both sides, covered in mixture of three eggs, sugar and milk, layered with sultanas and marmalade and then cooked to crusty perfection in the oven and then smothered with custard.


Immense!

[the pink palermo]

Algarve Hammer, that looks a wonderful present .


Sign in a Glasgow pub last night

Upgrade your chips to Curly fries for 79p

[Clacton-ammer]

Going to visit my mum and finding out that she cooked what I considered to be the best Bread and Buttered pudding of all time - plus custard!

Stale bread buttered on both sides, covered in mixture of three eggs, sugar and milk, layered with sultanas and marmalade and then cooked to crusty perfection in the oven and then smothered with custard.


Immense!

Yes it is!! My nan use to make me that every time I went to see her. Also, then having another piece later when cold, bloody marvellous.

[r99c]

The clock ticking over to 5pm on a Friday afternoon. Only 33 hours to go.

[Algarve Hammer]

Algarve Hammer, that looks a wonderful present .

Thanks Pinky.