Little things in life that make you smile

[terrapinstation]

Haven't bothered to look through the thread to see if its been posted... wiping your arse after a pristine dump and having the toilet paper come up spotless.

[Greatest Cockney Rip Off]

Haven't bothered to look through the thread to see if its been posted... wiping your arse after a pristine dump and having the toilet paper come up spotless.

Fuckin' poser!

[neil_d]

Every couple of minutes when the realisation hits me that we're not two games from Wembley, oreven 45 mins (and two goals up) from Wembley... We're actually going to Wembley! (OK, not really a little thing.)

[Clacton-ammer]

Bloke yesterday, shouting to Vaz "pass it to Jack" "****ing pass it to Jack" whack, goal, "I ****ing love you Vaz Te" Then turned to me and said "that **** still should have passed it" with a big toothless grin.

[Czech Hammer]

My trumps are making me smile this morning. Pure evil.

Was on the black stuff all day yesterday, and when I got in Mrs Cz had cooked me Roast Beef, with all the trimmings. The brussels have added a very potent edge to my flatulence this morning.

Just went to the boss' office to find he wasn't there, so I put one down and shut the door, encasing the gassy aroma ready for his return.

I haven't stopped grinning since.

Adding to that lovely little snippet, I didn't get to the game yesterday, and ended up watching it in a pub.
I got chatting to this old boy. Apparently been a West Ham fan for nearly 70 years. He did not stop swearing at the screen for the whole game! 5-0 up on agg, going to Wembley, and he was still effing and blinding! Every time Sir Trev and Russell Brand were shown, he went '' Oh look, its God and Jesus.'' Made me chuckle anyway.....

[TurnbullHammer]

Haven't bothered to look through the thread to see if its been posted... wiping your arse after a pristine dump and having the toilet paper come up spotless.

the Ghost Poo. No greater thing in life my friend.

[TurnbullHammer]

Rain. Am I the only one who loves it?

[sword]

That's two of us - epic stuff.
It's pissing down here, right now - happy as a pig in, well, rain!

[Clacton-ammer]

What, you guys like rain ALL the time? A quick downpour in the summer is lovely, freshens everything up, but this consistent ****ing pi**ing down is driving me to almost top myself...

[Yea Why Not]

What, you guys like rain ALL the time? A quick downpour in the summer is lovely, freshens everything up, but this consistent ****ing pi**ing down is driving me to almost top myself...

Don't worry, it won't be long before you're on Clacton beach in your speedos

I'm also not liking this rain either. The raising of the Thames barrier resulted in my golf course flooding last week

[Clacton-ammer]

Don't worry, it won't be long before you're on Clacton beach in your speedos

I'm also not liking this rain either. The raising of the Thames barrier resulted in my golf course flooding last week

Been down there already, keen water and jet skiier, tis lovely, although I did get funny looks as the "S" had come off my Speedos and the football socks were not placed correctly and had worked there way around the back, other than that it was all good.

[Zman39]

Random pleasant surprises

[delbert]

After spending all day out and about in my untaxed van clamping peoples cars then demanding money from them I like nothing better than parking up at night across my neighbours dropped kerb.........

[the oldham stripper]

After spending all day out and about in my untaxed van clamping peoples cars then demanding money from them I like nothing better than parking up at night across my neighbours dropped kerb.........

now thats f***ing funny

[Philosophical Dan]

Been having a moan about a colleague recently. Bloke in Oz, who's meant to do the same job as me & a few others. Joined when I joined (we were recruited as a department), and he's delivered f*ck all as far as I can tell. Plus, his response to troubleshooting issues is to hand them over to the UK and say "I don't know what's wrong".

They fired him this morning after the IT director overheard me loudly discussing what an ineffective twat he is.

[Philosophical Dan]

Actually, taking satisfaction over someone losing their gig is bad darts, and I take it back. Was still a whinging workshy convict c*nt, though.

[Westcliff Hammer]

Dog's sticking their head out of the window of a moving car...........The look on their face is sheer happiness personified!

[Hammer Laffers]

Being asked to give my mum away at her surprise wedding today.

[delbert]

Who was the surprise for, her or the groom?

[Hammer Laffers]

Who was the surprise for, her or the groom?

All of the party. They had been tricked by the bride and groom that they were going to a family day out around York, their faces when they found out it was a lie and there was a Wedding