|An archive of Cockney Hammer's West Ham-related daily news digests.
was trying new ways of trying to make the gossip better i will not bother thursday
Poor Brendan Rodgers. He went to all the trouble of posing for a photograph under the newly rehung 1970s This Is Anfield sign, wielding a claw hammer, the none-too-subtle subtext being "be reasonable, journalists, you abject shower, or you may find me coming at you in an abrupt fashion at businesslike speed with this", but already they're starting to twist the poor bugger's words. All he said was that Andy Carroll's a "very good player", and that he's going to wait a while before making any major decisions about his squad. But suddenly the faithful, honest, hard-working beast of England is being linked with West Ham United, Fulham, Milan, and Alfred Simmonds of Willingdon.
Or are the press right? Has he been bundled into a large closed van drawn by two horses with lettering on its side and a sly-looking man in a low-crowned bowler hat sitting on the driver's seat? Oh Napoleon! How could you?
Liverpool want Joe Allen as a replacement. Obviously it's not a like-for-like replacement. They play in different positions, and have different approaches to trapping the ball. It's a spiritual and philosophical switcheroo.
Bit of an Anfield special today. The link to Roma striker Fabio Borini we already know about. New deals for Mrtn Skrtl , Daniel Agger and Luis Suárez are all on the cards, though Craig Bellamy is off to a club that effectively doesn't exist any more: the redbirds of Cardiff City. God speed, people of Cardiff, it's not too late, you can do this, we're all behind you.
At the very real risk of boring fans of every single other club in the country, Celtic midfielder Ki Sung-yueng, long-range hero of the 2011 Scottish Cup final, is yet another Liverpool target. Though in a beautiful double irony, he may also become a Ranger – a Queens Park Ranger – in a move which will further show that it's not just the Ibrox club whose stature is swirling down the swannee. God speed, people of Glasgow, it's not too late, you can do this, we're all behind you.
Arsène Wenger has almost certainly admitted defeat by telling Arsenal officials to shovel Robin van Persie off to Manchester United, Manchester City, or Juventus, on account of being bored with the whole brouhaha. He'll look to replace the striker with Fiorentina's Stevan Jovetic or Robert Lewandowski of Borussia Dortmund. God speed, people of Islington, you can etc.
Manchester United are going £20m deep with a bid for Sao Paulo's 19-year-old starlet Lucas Moura. Manchester City, Internazionale and Chelsea are also sniffing about. God speed, supporters of Manchester City, Manchester United, Milan or Fulham, depending on whoever signs etc.
Tottenham Hotspur have already got Brad Friedel, Heurelho Gomes and Carlo Cudicini on the books. AND YET THAT'S NOT ENOUGH!!! André Villas Boas is accordingly after £16m Lyon goalkeeper Hugo Lloris.
Out the other way is defender Kyle Naughton, who will be going to Reading.
Southampton's deals for Steven Davis of Rangers and full-back Alex Buttner of Vitesse Arnhem appear jiggered due to, respectively, international clearance issues, and another undisclosed bid.
And to complete a south-coast Rumour Triptych, Harry Redknapp is interested in becoming the Russia manager, with some shill of his saying: "Would Harry have a problem going to Russia? No. He's ready to go and live in any country." This about a man who infamously turned down the Newcastle job because the Toon was a bit far from Boscombe.
Chelsea are after a couple of full-backs: Porto's Cristian Sapunaru and Senad Lulic from Lazio. We're guessing that Stamford Bridge regulars are so spoilt with transfers during the last decade that two defenders won't excite them. Hence dumping this near the bottom.
Finally, Fulham are close to closing a deal for Hugo Rodallega, who may be a replacement for Liverpool-bound Clint Dempsey. The Cottagers beat Everton to the Wigan player's signature, completing what must have been a thoroughly irritating Rumour Mill for Toffees. And everyone else, but y'know.
Andy Carroll is ready to fight for his future at Anfield despite becoming a shock target for West Ham.
Manchester United have made a £20m bid for Brazilian wonder boy Lucas Moura.
Real Madrid are ready to test Manchester City's resolve to keep David Silva with a £35m bid.
Yaya Toure has pledged his future to Manchester City.
Dimitar Berbatov could find himself in limbo at Manchester United with no takers for the exiled striker.
Sir Alex Ferguson said he let Ji-Sung Park leave Manchester United as he could not guarantee him regular football.
Tottenham are closing in on Porto midfielder Jaoa Moutinho.
Tottenham's new boss Andre Villas-Boas wants a good look at Kyle Naughton before deciding on a £5m bid from Southampton.
Liverpool will let Craig Bellamy make an emotional return to Cardiff City.
Bolton are hoping Carlos Sanchez will sign for them this week.
Martin Jol is set to bring Wigan striker Hugo Rodallega to Fulham.
Andy Carroll is a sensational transfer target for West Ham.
Fulham look to have won the race for Wigan striker Hugo Rodallega.
Hull boss Steve Bruce is ready to offer old club Sunderland £1.75m for winger Ahmed Elmohamady.
Barcelona are eyeing a shock raid for Yohan Cabaye.
Danny Welbeck is still in dispute over a new contract with Manchester United.
Bolton midfielder Mark Davies is being hunted by Reading and Fulham and is valued at £5m.
Colin Kazim-Richards is training with West Ham ahead of a potential move away from Galatasaray.
Southampton's deals for Steven Davis and Alex Buttner have collapsed.
Harry Redknapp has refused to rule out becoming the next manager of Russia.
Sir Alex Ferguson is in London today amid claims he is still pursuing Arsenal striker Robin van Persie.
Arsene Wenger has turned down an offer to coach Brazil.
Harry Redknapp could be poised to take over as boss of Russia.
West Ham have targeted a sensational swoop for Andy Carroll.
Yaya Toure has rejected a shock return to Barcelona and pledged his future to Manchester City.
Newcastle target Vurnon Anita has begged the Toon to match Ajax's £8m asking price.
Nicky Shorey is hoping to kick-start his career back at Reading.
Stoke are on red alert after Wolves said they are prepared to sell Steven Fletcher and Matt Jarvis.
Liverpool hope to pull off the £7m signing of Jose Callejon from Real Madrid in the next few days.
Manchester United striker John Cofie has joined Sheffield United on a season-long loan.
Kanu faces a fine from Portsmouth after failing to turn up for the start of pre-season training.
Middlesbrough want Emmanuel Ledesma as their fifth summer signing.
West Ham are set to launch an ambitious bid for Andy Carroll.
Harry Redknapp is interested in becoming Russia manager after he was included in a 13-strong list for the job.
Arsene Wenger has told Arsenal officials he wants a quick resolution to the Robin van Persie saga.
Sunderland are leading the chase for Blackburn's Steven N'Zonzi.
Olympiakos and Real Mallorca are lining up bids for West Brom defender Gabrial Tamas.
Wigan are launching a late bid for Real Mallorca defender Ivan Ramis.
Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers is ready to return to former club Swansea for Joe Allen.
Leeds are set to follow the signing of Paddy Kenny with a move for Leicester City's Lee Peltier.
Barcelona are thinking of activating a buy-back clause in the contract of midfielder Oriol Romeu.
Stoke are closing in on a £1.7m deal for Houston Dynamo striker Geoff Cameron.
Tottenham are near to a deal for France goalkeeper Hugo Lloris of Lyon.
Alan Smith is joining the MK Dons on a two-year deal.
Andy Carroll is a sensational transfer target for West Ham.
Aston Villa boss Paul Lambert has told his transfer targets they need to lower their wage demands.
Nicky Shorey is hoping to kick-start his career after returning to Reading.
Everton have offloaded striker Jaoa Silva to Levski Sofia.
Harry Redknapp has been included on a wishlist of candidates to take charge of Russia.
Ex-Rangers keeper Allan McGregor could be set to reject a megabucks offer from Besiktas.
Celtic have confirmed they could make a bid for South Korean winger Kim Bo-Kyung
Terry Butcher has admitted defeat in his bid to lure Lee Cox back to Inverness.
Celtic star Emilio Izaguirre has admitted he has yet to receive a firm offer from a an English top-flight club.
Rudi Skacel admits he is set to leave Hearts.
THE SUN: A sensational betting scam rocked the Premier League last night. Also: Harry Redknapp last night refused to rule out becoming the next manager of....Russia
DAILY MAIL: West Ham are set to launch an ambitious bid for England striker Andy Carroll. Also: Harry Redknapp is interested in becoming Russia manager after he was included in a 13-strong list of candidates posted on the country's football union website.
DAILY MIRROR: Andy Carroll is ready to fight for his Anfield future - despite becoming a shock target for West Ham. Also: Manchester United have made a £20million-plus bid for Brazilian wonder boy Lucas Moura.
DAILY STAR: West Ham have targeted a sensational swoop for Andy Carroll. Also: Harry Redknapp could be poised to take over as the new boss of Russia.
THE GUARDIAN: : Chelsea captain John Terry "snapped" when his "blood was up" after QPR player Anton Ferdinand taunted him over an alleged affair, it has been claimed in court.
THE DAILY TELEGRAPH: John Terry was forced to mount an unfamiliar defence on Tuesday as he took to the stand at Westminster Magistrates' Court accused of racially abusing Anton Ferdinand. Also: Chelsea are planning a fresh bid for German international striker Andre Schurrle which could lead to the departure of Daniel Sturridge this summer.
THE INDEPENDENT: Liverpool are prepared to accept a £20million loss on Andy Carroll this summer but with no optimism at Anfield about him commanding even that kind of price, a loan deal is seen as the way of building up the value of the most expensive British player of all time.
THE TIMES: West Ham United are ready to make an ambitious bid to take Andy Carroll on loan from Liverpool in the next 24 hours after Brendan Rodgers said that the forward is facing a battle to prove he has a future at Anfield. Also: Harry Redknapp, the former Tottenham Hotspur manager, is not interested in coaching Russia, despite appearing yesterday on an ambitious 13-man shortlist for the vacant job issued by the Russian Football Union, the governing body of the game in the country.
THE DAILY EXPRESS: Andy Carroll is a sensational transfer target for West Ham, who want to take the Liverpool striker on a season-long loan.
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