Thurs News 16 May

An archive of Cockney Hammer's West Ham-related daily news digests from 2009-2015. For the latest daily digests, see the General Discussion Forum.

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Doc H Ball
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Thurs News 16 May

Post by Doc H Ball »

In the absence of CH and despite my computer illiteracy, I thought I'd kick off a news thread.

Chelski Buy Another One!

Chelsea last night walked off with the European Cup Winners Cup having paid €325m for the trophy. A Club spokesman said 'It is relatively cheap but looks nice. We are grateful to the people of Novo Goroglad for the 350,000,000 barrels'.

MOTM John Terry was full of praise for caretaker manager Rafa Gervais - 'the fans have been saying they want their old Chelsea back so we're appointing Kerry Dixon and we're playing at Walsall next season. By the way, if anyone wants a sniff I've got my old man's number'.

It was an emotional night for Frank Lampard (junior) who played his last game for the blues before joining up with his coach father and manager Paul Ince at Blackpool. 'I'm sorry to be leaving, but it will be nice to go somewhere professional with proper training routines. By the way have you heard the one about Sept
11th?'

The Project Returns

Gianfranco Zola, Gianluca Nani and Giantlucre Duxbury are already looking forward to bringing their beloved Udinese to the PL next season with plans to sign Carlitos Tevez from Sheikh Mansour's hareem.
Duxbury tweeted 'Deal with Kia done. HP agreement and nothing in writing #RoyalCourtsofJusice'.

85% Support OS Move

An independent survey by Paul Peschisolido Pollsters has found that 85% of West Ham supporters unequivocally back the Clubs move to The Olympic Dtadium Sponsored By Newham Council, with 10% needing 're-education' and 5% certifiably insane.

Club spokesman and 4th PA to Ms Brady, The Pink Palermo, said 'I have come to appreciate the benefits of a steady salary and ingratiation. I can't wait to take my seat up in the Gods and watch a world class team in 3 years' time and anyone who doesn't like it should realise that we all have choices to make in life'.
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Matt of iron
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Re: Thurs News 16 May

Post by Matt of iron »

Er.....I'm very confused. :?
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Irish Iron
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Re: Thurs News 16 May

Post by Irish Iron »

Made me chuckle, well done!
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Re: Thurs News 16 May

Post by Jedi Al Khalaas »

:D
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Re: Thurs News 16 May

Post by upton o'good »

I particuallry enjoyed the poll result - as on e of the 10% who require re-education.
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Post by DD »

Made me chuckle that :thup:
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Post by Albie Beck »

Excellent Doc :thup:
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Post by Billydinho »

Links?
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Re: Thurs News 16 May

Post by the pink palermo »

Very good Doc :lol:
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Re: Thurs News 16 May

Post by rciron »

Superb :thup:
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