WHERE'S QUASHIE? The Hunt for Nigel.

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WHERE'S QUASHIE? The Hunt for Nigel.

Postby Royston: Republic d'Essex on Tue Apr 15, 2008 11:29 am

The West Ham legend that is Nigel Quashie has proven elusive in the days since his run in the side during the 2006-2007 season. His performances were central to creating the siege mentality that eventually allowed West Ham (albeit by using other players) to escape the relegation that had seemed almost certain. Given his iconic status it has been difficult to establish anything of substance about the midfield maestro. Here we are at the dregs end of the 2007-2008 season and we're desperately lacking something in midfield. The team is crying out for a leader: the crowd is baying for a hero. The question on everyone's lips:

Where's Quashie?

There have been numerous reports - some more credible than others - and gradually, stories and images have been leaked about the great man's whereabouts since his last appearance for the Hammers in 2007. Quashie hunters have come tantalisingly close to finding Nigel, but are always a day or two too late. In one account, typical of his heroism, it was alleged that Nigel had volunteered as a personal body guard for one of West Ham's biggest fans. A staunch patriot, Nigel who once changed national allegiance to play for Scotland, made his most daring national switch yet - by signing for Wales (jr). No-one knows the date or precise location of the photo below, but the camera never lies: Quashie has been away protecting His Royal Hammer Prince Harry from the Taliban in Afghanistan.

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Another, contrasting story cirulates (literally) about the mysterious Quashie's disappearance. As West Ham fans ask themelves what became of the bewildered figure that used to go fruitlessly round in circles at the Boleyn Ground, it now seems possible that little has changed. A photo that turned up on the Reuters wire last month seemed to prove that Nigel was, in fact, closer than many would have thought possible. The lonely figure in the next picture, appears to be Nigel Quashie - sadly bewildered about how to negotiate his way through the automatic doors on a circle line train that has been going round in circles for months. Eye-witness reports claim that a man who matches Quashies description has kept himself alive by eating the remnants of discarded takeaways. Could this be Quashie? Decide for yourselves:

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If the mysterious figure haunting the circle line is Nigel Quashie, then what are Quashie Hunters to make of the(as yet unconfirmed) reports that the missing hero is in West Yorkshire? West Yorkshire Police refuse to confirm or deny that Nigel Quashie has been kept prisoner in a terraced-house by none other than Karen Matthews. The story goes that the alleged benefits-cheating mother of alleged kidnap victim Shannon saw Nigel as a quick means of increasing the number of dependents she was able to claim benefits for. A neighbour told one reporter that there may well have been an international-class Premier League footballer living at the house but as there were so many other children running about without purpose in replica jerseys it would be difficult to say for sure. By the time investigators arrived on the scene he was gone - if he was ever there. Few photos exist, but in the ones that have found their way to my desk, it has to be said, the anguished figure has more than a passing resemblance of the Southwark Superman:

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The more evidence we see, the less we know. For every answer we find another question arises. If you have seen Nigel Quashie and can provide photographic evidence for your sighting please join the hunt for Nigel here. With your help we can answer the question:

Where's Quashie?
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Re: WHERE'S QUASHIE? The Hunt for Nigel.

Postby Ozza on Tue Apr 15, 2008 11:33 am

last seen by me working in one of those car hand wash places on my drive in on a home game
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Re: WHERE'S QUASHIE? The Hunt for Nigel.

Postby coxy on Tue Apr 15, 2008 11:36 am

Where's Quashie? :D

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Re: WHERE'S QUASHIE? The Hunt for Nigel.

Postby davids cross on Tue Apr 15, 2008 11:41 am

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Re: WHERE'S QUASHIE? The Hunt for Nigel.

Postby EastEndIRON on Tue Apr 15, 2008 11:45 am

:lol:
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Re: WHERE'S QUASHIE? The Hunt for Nigel.

Postby rare as rockinghorse shat on Tue Apr 15, 2008 11:45 am

This is gonna be so much ****ing fun.... :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: WHERE'S QUASHIE? The Hunt for Nigel.

Postby Clacton-ammer on Tue Apr 15, 2008 11:46 am

:lol:

Quality guys, Quality :thup:

For the record, if they do find him I hope it's at another club and in the secret deal we got a can of Dr Pepper in exchange.
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Re: WHERE'S QUASHIE? The Hunt for Nigel.

Postby Irons_Irons on Tue Apr 15, 2008 11:48 am

Jesus how much time do you have on your hands!?

I heard he was Rabid and had to be put down!?
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Re: WHERE'S QUASHIE? The Hunt for Nigel.

Postby chigwells finest on Tue Apr 15, 2008 11:50 am

very funny


need a bit of quality humour on here


and less on the pitch
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Re: WHERE'S QUASHIE? The Hunt for Nigel.

Postby coxy on Tue Apr 15, 2008 11:50 am

Anyone found him yet? :D
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Re: WHERE'S QUASHIE? The Hunt for Nigel.

Postby prophet:marginal on Tue Apr 15, 2008 11:54 am

Quashie Frothy Moshie - last seen at Manumission, git-git-gitting down.

A post in celebration of two lol-inspiring threads.

:thup:
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Re: WHERE'S QUASHIE? The Hunt for Nigel.

Postby w4hammer on Tue Apr 15, 2008 12:01 pm

lost down a back hole- never to be returned...-well not in this dimension anyways...

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Re: WHERE'S QUASHIE? The Hunt for Nigel.

Postby coxy on Tue Apr 15, 2008 12:04 pm

What's that? You need help?

Ok... :D

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Re: WHERE'S QUASHIE? The Hunt for Nigel.

Postby Bobby Orangeboom on Tue Apr 15, 2008 12:11 pm

Wherever Nigel may be Lads & Lasses, have no fear that he is still picking up his 20k plus per week, that's ****ing hilarious isn't it ?? :lol:
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Re: WHERE'S QUASHIE? The Hunt for Nigel.

Postby NXA on Tue Apr 15, 2008 12:15 pm

Bobby Orangeboom wrote:Wherever Nigel may be Lads & Lasses, have no fear that he is still picking up his 20k plus per week, that's ****ing hilarious isn't it ?? :lol:


Now where is that Djing icon gone :think:
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Re: WHERE'S QUASHIE? The Hunt for Nigel.

Postby davids cross on Tue Apr 15, 2008 12:16 pm

"What that boy ? Down a well you say :lol:

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Re: WHERE'S QUASHIE? The Hunt for Nigel.

Postby Ben on Tue Apr 15, 2008 12:16 pm

hahaha coxy :lol:
i thought you hadnt bothered to actually put him on there!
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Re: WHERE'S QUASHIE? The Hunt for Nigel.

Postby sendô on Tue Apr 15, 2008 12:22 pm

Last seen filming an ad for Robinson's new "Quashie Orange Squashie"
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Re: WHERE'S QUASHIE? The Hunt for Nigel.

Postby Bovverd on Tue Apr 15, 2008 12:28 pm

I really did spot him in Starbucks in Canary Wharf a month ago.
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Re: WHERE'S QUASHIE? The Hunt for Nigel.

Postby bobo on Tue Apr 15, 2008 12:33 pm

davids cross wrote:"What that boy ? Down a well you say :lol:

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BRILLIANT! :clap:
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