West Ham 6-0 Brighton: Hee-awesome
Ricardo Vaz Te dazzled with a hat-trick – but Kevin Nolan still thinks his team-mate is a Donkey [keep cap].
While some rate Wayne Rooney as Shrek, Vaz Te’s distinctive hairstyle reminds Nolan of the animated ogre’s four-legged sidekick, voiced by Eddie Murphy in the hit films.
Eight goals in five games have put the West Ham striker just two behind leading scorer Nolan, who was also on the scoresheet.
But the captain says he will not be green with envy if the new recruit overtakes him in the scoring stakes.
Nolan said: “He’s got a bad haircut. I always say he looks like Donkey from Shrek - that’s who he reminds me of. He’s gobby like him too, definitely.
“I don’t mind if he ends up top scorer, I really don’t. I’m happy with my output for the season but I’m not finished yet.
“Hopefully I can score a couple more but if he scores another five or six I would be even more delighted.”
Nolan was at Bolton when Vaz Te arrived at the Reebok as a teenager. But, after a promising start, injury saw him released in 2010.
A brief stint in Greece was followed by a spell at Hibernian before a trial at Barnsley last summer earned him a season-long contract – with Sam Allardyce adding him to the West Ham cast in January for £500,000.
And Nolan is happy to see the move working out for a player he always thought had the potential to go far.
Nolan said: “He has been great since he came in. He has worked his socks off to get back to this level. He is at a top team in the Championship but he should be in the Premier League. Hopefully he will be by the end of the season. What he has done has been brilliant and hats off to him.
“We had him and Joey O’Brien at Bolton as 16 and 17-year-olds and when you watched them play you knew they were special. They have just been very unfortunate with injuries. They were the top youngsters you thought would go on to do really well.
“He has a lot to offer and if he can steer clear of injury, keep the confidence up and keep doing what he is doing then he will be a great shining light for us. I’m just delighted we have got him.”
After recent unhappy endings as West Ham have faltered in the race for automatic promotion, Brighton’s visit had a more fairytale feel for Irons fans as the club notched its most emphatic scoreline since 1998.
Vaz Te led the way as the floodgates finally opened at Upton Park, his 25-yard effort deceiving keeper Peter Brezovan to put them in front inside three minutes.
His headed second came just five minutes later, and Nolan turned in a third before 11 minutes was on the clock.
That breathless opening took the sting out of the game, but West Ham hit the sorry Seagulls again after the break.
Vaz Te completed his hat trick with an overhead kick, a Carlton Cole effort flicked in off the heel of Henri Lansbury and Mark Noble’s corner cannoned in off the foot of Brighton’s Gary Dicker to complete a miserable afternoon for the visitors.
Now five points outside the play-off places, Gus Poyet’s team are keen to put the thrashing behind them as quickly as possible, starting against Watford tomorrow.
Brighton's Marcos Painter said: “Losing 6-0 is embarrassing but you can’t dwell on the past.
“You don’t lose 6-0 many times in your career but it can help you as a player to learn from it and turn things round hopefully.
“It’s gone and I know me and the rest of the players are going to take it on the chin and move on to the next game on Tuesday. If we give up now it’s pointless.
“We’ve just got to look now to win the next three games of the season and see where it takes us.”
the mail
Hot shot: Ricardo Vaz Te has scored eight goals in five games for West Ham
Dancing King! Vaz Te has West Ham back in the groove at Upton Park
West Ham ended their home jinx with a 6-0 win over Brighton on Saturday and one man stood out. Here are Sportsmail’s pass notes on hat-trick hero Ricardo Vaz Te.
Ricardo Vaz Te is the form player in the Championship.
He sure is. Eight goals in his last five games and 20 for the season.
So he must have cost a few bob.
Only £500,000 from Barnsley in January.
Hot shot: Ricardo Vaz Te has scored eight goals in five games for West Ham
Hot shot: Ricardo Vaz Te has scored eight goals in five games for West Ham
Has he any previous?
Not really. One goal in 10 for Hibs and there was his one goal in six months at Panionios in Greece. He did play for Sam Allardyce at Bolton.
So is that where he showed his prolific skill in front of goal?
Er, no. Three goals in 58 league games.
So he’s not really a goalscoring striker?
He’s a wide attacker, but his five goals in the last two games have come with him playing more centrally. This is the best goalscoring form of his career.
Contrast: Vaz Te at Bolton
Contrast: Vaz Te at Bolton
Why has he not made a bigger impact before?
Aged 25, he’s 6ft 2in, strong in the air, quick and tricky on the ground. But he is, as they say, a confidence player. Right now, he is confident.
Where did he come from?
He’s Portuguese and Big Sam signed him from Farense, where he was a team-mate of Nani, aged 16. Like Nani, he has lots of tricks. The end product hasn’t always been glorious, but Allardyce has always believed in his potential.
And what about this goal celebration?
It would not look out of place in the Lion King theatre production, with an extravagant dance that resembles a big cat cleaning itself after devouring its prey.
Can he put West Ham in the top two?
Unlikely. But at least West Ham’s strikers have started scoring again. And just in time for the play-offs..
the telegraph
West Ham manager Sam Allardyce urges his team to do it again against Bristol City after thrashing Brighton
West Ham got themselves back in the chase for an automatic promotion place with a comprehensive demolition of Brighton. The east London club’s manager, however, pointed out that their record-breaking away form is the key to a return to the Premier League, an opportunity they cannot afford to spurn.
Allardyce’s team set a club record of 12 away wins in a season when they thrashed Barnsley 4-0 at Oakwell on their last outing, and he is hoping their luck holds for a 13th time at Ashton Gate, as well as at Leicester next Monday to set them up for the visit of Hull on the final day of the season.
“We’re are back in the race,” he said after West Ham closed the gap on second-placed Southampton to three points and a goal difference of three, with three games to play.
“The odds are against us going straight back up, but there are consequences if we don’t, because of the financial redress. There will be three teams coming down [from the Premier League] and they will have more financial clout than us, although they will have to address the situation the way we have. So it is vitally important we try to get back this season.”
Allardyce has had to be careful with the club’s money, and he got a bargain when he signed Ricardo Vaz Te, 25, from Barnsley for £500,000 in
January. The Portuguese striker’s hat-trick against Brighton made it 10 goals in 10 starts, justifying Allardyce’s faith in a player he has known for nearly 10 years.
“I signed him as a 16 year-old at Bolton and always knew he had the talent, but you see some players abuse that talent and drop out.
“He’s been down and out, and left to ponder his career, and ended up in Greece and then Barnsley. I went to watch him, and when I learned he had six months left on his contract I told the chairmen we had to sign him. He was scintillating today, and his third goal was as good as Wayne Rooney’s overhead kick against Manchester City.”
Vaz Te’s first two goals, a long shot and a header, put the West Ham 2-0 ahead inside eight minutes, and Kevin Nolan’s tap-in three minutes later ended the game as a contest. Vaz Te’s spectacular third was followed by one from Carlton Cole and an own-goal from Gary Dicker, as Brighton’s outside chances of making the play-offs effectively died.
“We have no one to blame but ourselves,” admitted Brighton manager Gus Poyet.
West Ham have hope, however, starting at Bristol City. “I’ll tell the lads to go out and do what they did at Barnsley and today,” said Allardyce. “If we are as clinical as we were today we can win all three games.”
Match details
West Ham (4-4-2): Green; Demel (Collins 68), Tomkins, Reid, Taylor; O’Neill (Collison 55), Nolan, Noble Lansbury; Vaz Te (Carew 86), Cole.
Subs: Henderson, Maynard.
Booked: Cole.
Brighton (4-4-1-1): Brezovan; Calderon, Greer, El-Abd, Painter; Bridcutt, Dicker, Navarro, Assulin (Lualua 53); Vicente (Noone 63); Barnes (Mackail-Smith 53).
Subs: Ankergren, Jara.
Booked: Dicker.
Referee: R East (Wiltshire).
forever west ham
Is this what has cost us this season?
Since our fantastic victory over Cardiff City on Sunday March the 4th, West Ham have typically let us down through a series of dire (obviously excluding yesterday’s masterclass), anti-climactic and medicore home performances where despite fantastic home support, players (who despite being on Premier League wages) fail to find the invention to find gaps through Watford or bottom of the table Doncaster Rovers’ defence.
Since then, we have seen Reading FC surge up the table, a team who have kept their team a constant 11 that would roll off the tongue of every one of their fans mouths. Their signing of Jason Roberts has been shrewd no doubt and yet arguably our most exciting signing has played 9 minutes of real time for the first team at Elland Road since his arrival.
These problems are minimal compared to the issue that has majorly halted our promotion push in the past 6 weeks. Can any fan tell me the last time they saw the same X1 in the team for two games on the trot? True, injuries (as Big Sam will no doubt point to in press conferences) play a huge part in this of course as they do at every professional football club. It is also true that we have the biggest (and surely strongest and most flexible squad) in the nPower Championship so occasional squad rotation is to be expected.
But when Big Sam decides to play Nicky Maynard up front (by himself at home I may add) to Middlesbrough, then switches to Carlton Cole up front by himself, then puts Vaz Te up to support him to be concluded by desperation acts of sending John Carew on for a second half impact showing and throwing Kevin Nolan up front as a second striker in the Birmingham second half, signs of tactical naivety and cluelessness appear evident. He clearly has no idea about which strikers or even wingers are his first choice with Julien Faubert, Matty Taylor, Jack Collison, Kevin Nolan, Mark Noble and even Ricardo Vaz Te being deployed on the left or the right at some stage of the season.
In our strike force on paper, we actually have a rather potent mixture of striking variety. Carlton Cole; a typical target man who on is day is Premier League class, Maynard and Sam Baldock, both small quick strikers known for goal poaching in the Football League. These are followed by Ricardo Vaz Te, a flair striker who seems to have that creative instinct for dribbling and finding holes in defences (traits we will desperately need in the play-offs) and John Carew, a well known target man who in the peak of his career has played in the Champions League Final for Valencia. On paper, that strike force is of envy of many Championship managers this year. Furthermore, with a manager knows the style of play he wants his team to adopt, there is no doubt we should be well equipped to win the play-offs.
However, that is certainly easier said than done. Once Sam knows the automatic places are mathematically out of reach, he must realise what style of play he wants to attack the semi finals with and look at what striking partnership (or single striker if he wants to make the fans groan) to use and employ it for the last few domestic Championship games. Players must get used to playing with each other to develop that team camaraderie that has seen Reading surge from mid-table to destroying our season. If going direct is our best option, surely Cole and Vaz Te or even Cole and Nolan are better options than Maynard up top by himself (which was ludicrous to watch in the Boro game)!
It may well be that we have to employ different striking forces at home from the away leg. If Sam thinks so, so be it, but for god’s sake smell the coffee and keep the ball on the deck if we have a striker under the height of 5ft10!
Written by Hal Walker
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babe of the day
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