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Preview Percy on Palace. You know the score – his ex-missus, what a dump Croydon is etc etc. Maybe some football stuff in there as well...

Next we have our second home game in a row as we play host to the great unwashed of Croydon in the form of Crystal Palace. Kick-off is at 3pm on Saturday but bear in mind that the Jubilee Line is out on Saturday between Green Park and Stratford, so the alternative lines are likely to be a bit on the busy side.




So Palace then. From Croydon which spawned the abomination that was the former Mrs Percy, I may have mentioned that in the past. It’s somewhere that we should pay Donald Trump to take off our hands, if only because it’s warmer than Greenland.

As for Palace, well it looks like another season where they will be fairly safe from the drop by virtue of having just a bit more about them than the likes of Leicester, Wolves, Ipswich and Southampton. In fact they have a lot more about them than Southampton but there again as a kid I had Subbuteo teams that would have given them a game.

Palace got off to a slow start – it says a lot that despite losing five and drawing three of their first eight they still weren’t bottom of the league. Form has been a bit patchy over the course of the season – although they have five wins under their belt they have yet to win two in a row, though of late they have only lost two of their last 11.

The last six saw them win their Cup Final at Brighton (3-1), lose 5-1 at home to Arsenal, draw 0-0 at Bournemouth, beat Southampton 2-1 at home, draw 1-1 with Chelsea and, in this latest round of midweek encounters they went up to Leicester and came back with all three points following a 2-0 win in the Midlands.

All of that has left them with 24 points from 21 played. That leaves them in 14th place level on points with Tottenham (titter) in 13th and two points behind us in 12th.

Although they haven’t actually dipped their hands in their pockets just yet, I have brought Daisy back to work as there has been some movement on the transfer front. They look likely to bring in 19 year-old Millwall winger Romain Esse with a fee of £14.5m being quoted by various sources.

Esse is an England Under 20 cap and was left out of Millwall’s FA Cup tie last week in order to protect the deal. Whilst Palace might be favourites to complete the deal – relocation wouldn’t be an issue – there are rumours that Bournemouth might be interested in stepping in, something that will be a test of the player’s sanity if nothing else.

I mean, sunny Bournemouth or Croydon? Either way the deal hasn’t been completed at the time of writing so we are unlikely to see him in action on Saturday.

They will be one short in the squad in the defence department. Trevor Chalobah, having been told by Chelsea in the summer that there was no place for him in the squad, has now been told by Chelsea that there is a place for him after all, that decision coming following a series of injuries in defensive areas at Stamford Bridge.

Despite Chalobah’s departure there is unlikely to be a berth in the back four for former Arsenal centre back Rob Holding. Strange story this one. Palace signed the player from Arsenal in the summer of 2023. And that’s just about it. He’s made one League Cup appearance for the Glaziers since then then nothing.




He hasn’t appeared in the league and his last appearance of any sort was as an unused sub when we played them at the death trap at the start of the season. Rumour has it that he took exception to being asked to do some warm-down running after that match, even though he had done nothing to work up a sweat all day. This led to a falling out with boss Glasner, ever since when he has been banished to training with the Under 21s.

As a non-person he was banished from the team photo sessions and his only action has been as an over-age player in the EFL Trophy thing. Coventry have been sniffing around but Holding is said to be, er, holding out, for a move to MLS. Or indeed, if he has any sense, anywhere that isn’t managed by Lampard Junior.

On we move to the Wild and Wacky World Of Association Football. And fresh off the printers comes the news that no Premier League clubs will be facing any punishment for breach of the Profit & Sustainability rules (PSR). This of course follows some pretty spectacular movement in the early part of the summer transfer window, particularly with clubs with a 30 June financial year-end.

This saw clubs entering into “swap” deals whereby the profit from the “sale” could be booked immediately, whilst the expense could be spread over the length of the player’s contract up to a maximum of five years.

The best dodgy deal came from Chelsea. Having kept out of bother last year by selling the two hotels they own to themselves, they repeated the trick by selling their women’s team, again to themselves. The sort of iffy deal of which Ken Bates would have been proud. The rules will be changing next season – I’m sure the accountants are working through the loopholes as we speak.

Across the Channel plaudits go out to Bourgoin-Jallieu from the French 5th tier who knocked Lyon out of the French Cup, winning 4-2 on penalties after a 2-2 draw. Bit of a blow for Said Benrahma & co that. Particularly as the amateurs play in claret and blue. The result was the biggest upset in European Domestic cup competitions since Tottenham beat Tamworth the other week.

And on to us. Odd game that one. For about 25 minutes it was same old same old as we sat back and watched them play. The turning point was, oddly, a goal that we didn’t score. Kilman looked offside – though I’d have been happier had the chap that won the god-awful Strictly Come Bloody dancing been on VAR duty rather than Stuart “another day in a job despite everything” Atwell.

However, the “goal” seemed snap us into life. Much has been written as to how Fulham gave the ball away to Soler. However, not so much was written on the subject of how the errors in question were forced.

We were hunting in packs a lot more and, whilst Pereira’s cross field pass was suicidal nobody seemed to mention the fact that it was occasioned by the need to play a first time ball due to the proximity of Alvarez breathing down Pereira’s neck. Soler’s first time finish back across goal was both exquisite and clever.

The second goal was nicely worked with Kudus, Soler and Wan Bissaka all playing major roles in the one unique goal of the evening. The third was a carbon copy of the first – but again Ings’s role has rather been underplayed at the expense of everyone saying how poor Leno’s role in the whole affair was.




Of course we wouldn’t be West Ham without conceding and the two carbon copy goals from Iwobi just showed the benefits of playing crosses into that “corridor of uncertainty” and having a forward run across the path.

So by no means perfect – but an improvement in certain areas – lots more hard work and the mood about the place will be buoyed by the three points. As will be the hilarious sight of the league table at the time of writing. A good start.

On the injury front it’s much as you were. I did note whilst scrolling through the TV channel list the other day that one of those nostalgia channels that show 1960's/70's/80's TV shows is repeating the old sci-fi series “The Six Million Dollar Man”.

For those too young to remember, the basic premise was that Astronaut Steve Ausitn crashes his plane and gets rebuilt using bio-electronics or bionics if you will. This enables him to run at 60mph, see for miles and lift heavy things with an arm that, mysteriously, never seems to set off the alarms at airports.

I mention this only because I was wondering if the medics looking after Michail Antonio might be persuaded to do a similar job. Mind you there may be an issue with BUPA – Daisy tells me that US$6m is worth US$38,396,714 today. Or £31,485,305 in proper money. Best check that excess, Mickey.

Lots of positive noises about Jarrod Bowen whose return may be quicker than has been hoped for. However, it’s still a few weeks away. However, if the noises are positive on Bowen, they are non-existent on the subject of Jean-Clair Todibo. All sorts of rumours and noises but nothing from the club. Niclas Fullkrug’s hamstring will take a while whilst the non-hamstring injury picked up by Summerville is close but probably not yet.

So on to the prediction. I’ll give the Predict-O-Matic-O-Tron device another go – whilst it got the result right on Tuesday it still needs tweaking on the correct score front.

I think the improvements from the having of a new boss are palpable and another week in the job will only serve to get the message across a bit more. I’m looking for another improvement so with all that keyed into the wretched machine I’m going to place the £2 that I was going to put towards Antonio’s bionics on the predicted score of a 2-1 win for us. All yours Mr Winstone.

Enjoy the game!




When Last We met At The Olympic: Drew 1-1 Premier League December 2023
Kudus opened the scoring in the first half, then we put our feet up. We gave the ball to the now at Leicester Edouard in a manner espoused by Fulham the other night, albeit without any actual pressure on their part for the equaliser. We woke up late on but too little too late.

Referee: Thomas Bramall
Sent off Kalvin Phillips at Forest last season. There again they all do.

Danger Man: Jean-Phillipe Mateta
Has 8 across all competitions this season. In truth I thought it was more though.

Percy and Daisy’s Croydon Fact Of The Week Type Thing
Croydon was recently listed as Britain’s divorce capital with more residents in the borough engaging in online searches relating to ending their marriages than any other borough on a per head basis. Having once had the misfortune to be married to a Croydon resident I can understand why.

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