Arsenal v West Ham United: match preview

Preview Percy has been banging on to anyone who will listen about how his prediction for Monday night’s scoreline was spot on. We did suggest that he quit while he was ahead but he gave us one of those looks. So, since he’s elected not to retire on the proceeds of his traditional £2.50 wager, here, unfortunately, is his look at this weekend’s trip to Arsenal...

Next up we make the relatively short trip to the London Borough of Islington where we will be hosted by Arsenal. Kick-off is at 3pm on Saturday which is the right and proper time for all right thinking chaps.




So Arsenal then. They seem to be benefiting from a spot of hedging on the part of PGMOL’s pension fund administrators who have kept a few bob back from their traditional lumping on Liverpool and stuck it on an each-way bet on the north Londoners lest their interventions fail the Scousers as they did last Saturday.

Not that they are grateful – witness at the moaning when they didn’t get a penalty last weekend for an offence that quite clearly wasn’t a penalty.

Their season started with a 1-0 win up at Old Trafford courtesy of a goal from a corner that saw a clear foul on the ‘keeper that the officials missed. VAR would work so much better if the people operating it were to face the screen once in a while.

Similarly, they were denied a late penalty up at Anfield which probably would've have earned them a draw, the handball being of the sort that always get given for Liverpool but never ever against them.

This was followed by a win at home to Forest (3-0), a 1-1 draw at home to Man City, and last weekend a 2-1 win up at Newcastle, the points coming in both of those last two courtesy of late goals. All of that has left them in second place with 13 points from the six played so far, which, following Liverpool’s failure to capitalise on the lifeline given to them by the referee last weekend.

Daisy tells me that their transfer policy over the summer seemed to be deliberately targeted at the likes of me who occasionally struggle with the pronunciation of some of the trickier name of players from foreign climes. I mean why else sign Kepa Arrizabalaga for a release-clause fee of £5m?

Kepa the 'keeper probably saw less of Stamford Bridge than I did last season, having spent his season on the more pleasant shores of Bournemouth. He joins an increasing number of more mature stoppers who spend a few seasons on the racing car seats picking up a decent salary for what is hopefully very little work.

Midfielder Martin Zubimendi arrived from Real Sociadad in a deal worth £55.8m, give or take the odd Euro. Zubimendi spent virtually all of his career with the Basques, a short spell with his original youth club aside. He scored nine in 180 appearances for Sociadad. However, despite the more defensive nature of his duties he has already netted twice for Arsenal in his six league games so far, both coming in the 3-0 defeat of Forest.

The departure of Brentford manager Thomas Frank into obscurity saw a mass departure of the club’s better players. One of whom was the Bees’ club captain Christian Norgaard. The relatively low fee of £10m probably reflects his age – at 31 you don’t expect to see £50m fees. However there is a further £5m potentially payable depending on appearances. He’s yet to make his league debut for Arsenal, his two first XI appearances coming in the League Cup and In the so-called Champions League.


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Although Barnet-born, winger Noni Madueke spent much of his early professional career abroad, having overcome the twin handicaps of spending time in the youth systems of both Palace and Tottenham, to make his way to PSV Eindhoven. After four seasons in the first team in the Netherlands, Chelsea splashed out some of the non-existent money they earned by selling stuff to themselves to bring the player back to Blighty.

Madueke’s main headlines last season came from an Instagram post in which he described Wolverhampton as not very nice, though he later retracted his statement commenting that “I’m sure it’s very nice”. No mate, you were right first time.

Arsenal’s supporters were so impressed with the transfer that they got up a petition in an attempt to block the £48m (rising to £52m) deal on the grounds that the transfer was clueless. This was criticised by none other than Declan Rice who will no doubt bear such matters in mind when he weighs up Real Madrid’s next offer.

Central defender Christhian Mosquero has probably played more games than had initially been anticipated at this stage following his £13m move from Valencia; the early season injury to Saliba promoting him up the ranks. He’s yet to make his full international debut for Spain, though he does have Under 21 caps.

Throughout last season you couldn’t open a paper without reading how Arsenal’s lack of a striker was going to cost them the league – to the extent that you got the impression that sports editors actually believed anyone cared. Someone at The Haemorrhoid must have read this and they went out and picked up Victor Gyokeres.

The deal to bring the former Brighton, Coventry and Swansea striker over from Sporting Lisbon hit a few hitches which saw the player get the hump and refuse to train. Eventually the money men shook hand on a deal for £55m rising to a potential £63m with add-ons. He's netted three times in six league appearances this season, including a brace in the 5-0 win over Leeds.

The final permanent deal saw Eberechi Eze move across the river from Palace for £60m, rising to £67m. It was a close-run thing for Eze, who appeared to be on the verge of having to sign for Tottenham before Arsenal saved him. Apparently Eze is something of a chess buff and won a prize of $20,000 for winning some tournament a while back.

And with that we shall move on to the Wild And Wacky World Of Association Football. And the Karma Comedy that is Sheffield United just keeps on getting better and better.


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Chris Wilder, who is now managing the club for the 400th time got a bit cheesed off with the way things were going for his League 1-bound bunch of chancers so he walloped the ball into the crowd, hitting a supporter in the face in the process. A red card ensued and, if I were the supporter I’d consider suing the two-bob club for a suitable sum. About £25m would be a nice place to start.

Talking of big money, it seems the end is in sight for the dreaded Profit & Sustainability Rules (PSR) which appear to represent the worst of all worlds, unless your club got bought out by some country or another before the rules were introduced. The Premier League has been trialling several new systems in the background. A final decision as to which system Manchester City will be ignoring for the next few years will be arrived at a meeting in November.

And so to us. Well it was an improvement of course, particularly in the second half. During the first half there were some attacking moments that looked ok but we were still looking shaky at set pieces, and our failure to deal with yet another corner saw us go behind. The second half saw us going forward much more, thus looking much better overall.

Summerville and Diouf in particular shone – the run of Diouf that ultimately led to the goal set off local traffic cameras and a point ended up being the least we deserved.

It wasn’t all plain sailing, however. Mavropanos had me ringing up everyone I know to find homes for the kittens I gave birth to when he tried to beat a player just far enough outside the box for the inevitable resulting foul to give a free-kick rather than a penalty. Fullkrug also seemed far too static for my liking but on the whole it was a promising start for the new boss - though I might have been tempted to give Summerville a bit more time.

On the injury front, Todibo has resumed training after whatever mystery ailment he had cleared up. Just coincidence that he recovered just after Mr Potter left. See also Aaron Wan-Bissaka. Geroge Earthy will be out for a while whilst Tomas Soucek faces the final match ban for exactly the sort of challenge that was worth only a yellow for Tarkowski the other night.

So to the prediction. Well they’re good at corners and PGMOL turn a blind eye to everything that they do during them. And that’s before you factor in the fact that we stink at defending them.

So promising start or not, it’s hard to see us getting anything out of this one, even though we’re on a hat-trick over there. So the £2.50 that I was going to spend on whichever match PGMOL have paced their bets on this weekend will instead go on a home win. Make it 3-1 to them please, Mr Winstone.

Enjoy the game!




When last we met at the Haemorrhoid: Won 1-0 (Premier League February 2025) Arsenal got precisely what they deserved – Areola had about two shots to deal with. Meanwhile we had missed three good chances even before Bowen finished off a move he’d started with a diving header from Wan-Bissaka’s cross. Lewis-Skelly picked up a red for denial of goalscoring opportunity having brought down Antonio when clear through. Then a much-loved cousin made a spur of the moment trip to London to round off the day beautifully for yours truly.

Referee: John Brooks
Gullible official which is a bit of a worry in a match involving a team whose diving antics rival those of Liverpool.

Danger Man: Bukayo Saka
The league’s worst diver who isn’t called Salah, and a gullible ref. What could possibly go wrong?

Percy and Daisy’s Amazing Arsenal Fact Of The Week Type Thing
Arsenal have long been a club associated with dodgy dealings, from the dubious way they “negotiated” their way into the top flight without having to mess about with all that getting promoted stuff, to the mysterious way that players with iffy passports disappeared abroad on loan, just before an “unannounced” visit from the FA’s compliance team to check the dodgy docs. However, one man over the years embraced the dodgy side of Arsenal more than any other. Step forward 1960s/70s full back Peter Storey, who, our legal team tells us, should not be confused with the similarly named Peter Storrie late of this parish. So what did Storey do? Well it might be easier to suggest what he didn’t do. Here’s his rap sheet:

1. Arrested for his involvement in a counterfeiting ring;
2. Set up a brothel while on bail to raise money to flee to Spain to escape the counterfeiting charge
3. Fined and given a suspended for the brothel charge
4. Jailed for contempt of court during bankruptcy proceedings
5. Jailed for three years for the counterfeiting charge
6. 12 month suspended sentence for stealing two cars he had bought on HP for his mini cab firm
7. 28 days sentence for attempting to smuggle in some videos of a dubious nature I the spare tyre of his car.

A far cry from the retirement enjoyed by footballers these days.


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