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Preview Percy has been in the wars this week – a dodgy knee curtailing his movement. He’s effectively housebound - which is good news for the people who live near him. Less good for us as he’s sat with his laptop writing this week’s look at Monday’s visit to Palace...

Next up we check our vaccinations as we brave the London Borough of Croydon, the borough which spawned the first Mrs Percy as well as the appalling Malcolm Muggeridge whose bigoted criticism of Monty Python’s Life Of Brian was so narrow-minded that even the generally laid back Michael Palin got angry.




We will be risking a visit to the somehow safety-certified Selhurst Park where we will be hosted by Crystal Palace. Kick-off on Monday is at 8pm with Sky being the broadcaster of choice – if they can sort out the technical problems that messed up their Championship coverage at the weekend.

So Palace then. As usual their supporters haven’t a clue what to think at the moment. On the one hand the official line from their (titter) “Ultras” has been that Jean-Phillipe Mateta is persona non grata due to his having the temerity to want to improve himself with a move to Milan. A significant improvement to be sure – but there again I’m struggling to think of anywhere outside Tottenham that wouldn’t be.

The deal collapsed due to a problem with Mateta’s knee – something with which I can sympathise at present. This prompted booing of the player, presumably confirming to Mateta the wisdom of his desire to escape Croydon. Then he scored twice in the last ten minutes against Newcastle – albeit with the aid of a penalty so soft that even Liverpool might have been embarrassed had it been awarded to them at Anfield, causing confusion in the ranks.

Mind you, Mateta is not the only one who wants out. Glasner has already said he is off at the end of term, citing dissatisfaction with the Club’s transfer policy as his reason for going.

That win against the Magpies was their third in their last six which sounds respectable enough until you look at the opponents. The run started off with a 3-2 home defeat to Burnley. Their first win of the run came courtesy of a 1-0 over Wolves, before a 2-1 reverse up at Old Trafford.

This was then followed by an hilarious 3-1 win over Spurs at the toilet bowl, notable for the magnificent way in which Spurs managed to shoot themselves in the foot. The one draw in the last six saw them battle out a goalless affair with ten-man Leeds. They had a week off while Man City were busy with the League Cup before the aforementioned win over Newcastle, leaving them in 13th place with 42 points from 31 played.




They did spend some of the money they didn’t get for Mateta during the window – though they did bring in a cut-price £20m for Marc Guehi. Daisy informs me that they paid £17.5m for Jaydee Canvot. The central defender was brought in to plug the gap left by Guehi and has gained caps for France all the way up to Under 21 level.

A further £35m went out on Tottenham winger Brennan Johnson who couldn’t get out quickly enough, having found himself playing second fiddle to Mo Kudus. That worked out well for Tottenham then.

Incidentally, remember a couple of years ago when Tottenham’s PR department kept churning out all sorts of stats about Harry Kane breaking all sorts of records for a “calendar year”, as if a “calendar year” were a major thing in football? Well funnily enough they seem to have forgotten all about the concept of a “calendar year” over at the toilet bowl for the time being as we come up to 4 months into the current “calendar year”. Funny that.

The final permanent arrival was Jorgen Strand Larsen, who commanded an eye-watering fee of £43m – rising to an even more eye-watering £48m with add-ons. Not bad for a player who had scored but the once in the league in Old Gold & Black of Wolves. He has tripled that tally at Palace, though since three of his four league goals have come against Burnley this season we may not be dealing in the most convertible of exchange rates.

There was one additional loan signing in the form of Evann Guessand. Apparently out of favour at Aston Villa, the Ivorian winger has come in on a loan to the end of the season with an option to buy. It was his 90th minute winner that saw Palace claim an unconvincing win over Wolves.

And on we move to the wild and wacky world of association football. And with each day there comes a new statement on how the “best world cup ever – people are saying that already” is going to be run. Every day another city announces how a day return from the equivalent of Liverpool Street to Stratford will cost the equivalent of a small nation’s defence budget.

Now we hear that one of the few American Sporting “traditions” worth a candle is to be banned at World Cup venues. The tailgate party was devised as a way of countering the 3 hour tedium-fest that is American “Football” by knocking back a few beers and hot dogs to prepare the brain for the dullness that is to come.




With the bloated nature of the World Cup meaning that there will be dozens of matches that even the participants won’t be that bothered about, the tailgate party would be the ideal attention grabber. So they banned them. Of course they did. The venues are blaming FIFA who are denying that it’s down to them adding “that peace prize we gave Mr Trump was well-deserved wasn’t it?”

And so, to us. That was a welcome time for us to get our biggest win of the season. Dinos has clearly discovered that this website hands out a gong for most improved player and I was particularly impressed with the finish for his second which couldn’t have been better executed had it come from a 30-goal-a-season striker.

Yeah the first 20 minutes or so weren’t the greatest if truth be told. But once we’d gone ahead that was it. Good result and Tottenham’s hilarious failure up at Sunderland meant we finished up outside the bottom 3 for the first time in a while. Something made sweeter by Brighton’s late equaliser.

On the injury front we have a full squad from which to pick, with the exception of Fabianski whose signing seems to have been nearly as pointless as Tottenham. That being the case expect a similar starting line up as took the field against Wolves.

So the prediction then. Well that late equaliser for Brighton ought to have galvanised the team if nothing else. Palace’s record suggests that points in the plural should be obtainable from this one and I’m backing us to get them.

So with that in mind I will be placing the £2.50 that I was going to spend on a bottle to send to the Emirates as they appear to have lost theirs, again, will instead be going on us to pick up an away win. So Mr Winstone if you could accept my wager on us to prevail by the score of two goals to one that would be splendid.

Enjoy the game!




When last we met at the Death Trap: Won 2-1 (Premier League December 2024)
Soucek opened with a cleverly placed effort from the edge of the box. The second came on the break as Kilman’s clever pass set up Bowen for a fine solo effort.

Referee: Darren England
Notorious for his mishandling of the Bristol City cup tie a few years back where career-threatening tackles were fine but retaliation was forbidden.

Danger Man: Jean-Phillipe Mateta
While they are busy waiting for someone to tell them whether they should cheer or boo him, he will get on with the job of scoring goals for them before legging it for somewhere better in the summer.

Percy & Daisy’s Croydon Fact Of The Week Type Thing
Before the thing was built in the 1960’s the original plan for the Victoria line was for it to end up in Croydon. The plans were abandoned when it was realised that any line connecting Croydon with Tottenham would struggle to attract customers from the more decent sections of society.

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