Four cannibals apply for a job in a big corporation… „Well“, says the boss, „if I hire you guys, you have to promise to not eat any of our staff.“ The cannibals promise that they will not eat anyone and get hired. Everything is going well for a while, and one day the boss calls them into his office....

Oh and as for Asparagus, anyone got any tips re maintaining it. A lot of it has shoots with very tiny yellow type flowers on them. I don't know if i should treat them like toms and crop off all the unecessary foilage to promote growth? If I had the gumption to post a pic, I would!

Thanks Tenners and everyone. I was gonna turf my chilli plants out, but I'll give em till summer now. I resisted the urge to plant some Garlic and Artichokes in allotment today. I'm gonna clear allotment two of weeds etc before I do. That said this is a do or die season for allotment two. I orginall...

Eddie, down the road from me has started putting out cuttings. They are a £1 each and all monies go to St Barardos, so I bought 3 different varieties - Moneymaker. Maisy F1 and White cherry. I've repotted them in bigger pots - they needed it and will soon go out and but a "tomato bag" to p...

Tomos Veg menu for ther week. (The meats mentioned here are vegan meats obs) Mon - Chilli Tues -Curry Weds - Spag Bol Thursday - Veg casserole Friday - Pie, mash, beans Sat - Fry up - sausage, bacon, beans, mush, toms, chips etc. Sunday - Roast Dinner ( with meat "roast" if you need it.) M...

Hi TOMOS, sorry for the delay in responding. The best way for you to check your NI record and find out awhich years are missing is to open an HMRC account online on the gov.uk website, make sure it is the official site. You can also see your state pension forecast on there. Then you need to call th...

As Mr Rotten says "Anger is an energy", so after watching us losing to Fulham, I pulled on the gardening gloves, got the mower out and mowed the front two bits of lawn. I then tided up the crap that passers by left and then went and weeded the the gravel in the front garden,coving the weed...

I like reggae but I love Dub. King Tubby, U Roy, Scientist, The Mad professor, Lee "scratch" Perry and Mikey Dredd - I love em all.

Crozier "I apologise for any distress we MAY have caused her".... relating to a woman who was pregnant and sent to jail for a crime she did not commit.

Scum.

Th streams just went down before they scored. I'm pretty happy they are down, reading this lot here

"If the gloves don't fit, you've gotta acquit!"

Royal History's Biggest Fibs with Lucy Worsley or how what we believe to be the war of the roses was turned into propaganda by the Tudors and Bill Shakespeare, why Richard the 3 was not a club footed, hunchbacked deformed guy (Spoiler - he had curvature of the spine and that's about it) and How Hen...

Soted.

Game of Death and Game of Death 2. I used to be an avid fan of Kung Fu movies, so much so I used to go to Soho and watch illegal (because they were too violent) films in dingy cinemas in Chinatown. I saw Game of Death in the cinema, as this was Bruce Lee's final film, (he died during filming) but t...

Pulled a tendon in my knee and not being able to train legs or cycle.

Hi all - I've got a Big Brother issue I can't escape from and am going round in circles. The issue is this. The Inland Revenue has made a mistake when it comes to my tax records and have not taken into account and given me credit for contributions paid during my lifetime. I tried to ring them but th...

The Last Epoch - I've been drawn into this game - it's not straightforward, and I'm still learning, but the crafting system is very good, and I'm really enjoying playing a level 50 lich. There is one boss I can't beat, but I'll come back to it. ATM though it seems like DOT for the win (Damage over t...

yup, and Kill the King, plus some other staples (All night Long etc) plus DP classics (Burn, Stormbringer, Perfect Strangers, Black Night, Soldier of Fortune, Smoke on the Water etc etc) They have a wbsite/FB page with some of their live performances if you want to check them out. Well worth £17.50 ...

"If violence is not providing a solution to your problem, you are not using enough of it!" - Warhammer 40K philosophy.

Non independent vets are rip off merchants of the highest order, up there with lawyers, solicitors, Estate agents etc. I've been to two vets in Lincoln and they are absolute thieves - and liars. Example - one vet ****ed my cats few and a few bits if "stuff" ****ed out on to a wet piece of ...