Search found 261 matches

by lewisham-mer
Wed Dec 25, 2019 6:10 pm
Forum: The Snug
Topic: Your West Ham Prezzie Pile
Replies: 26
Views: 931

Re: Your West Ham Prezzie Pile

A West Ham onesie
West Ham short pyjamas
West Ham slippers
West Ham desktop calendar
West Ham Lego ball


Plus a shed load of Cadbury Caramel to last me til
Easter
by lewisham-mer
Sun Dec 22, 2019 10:19 pm
Forum: The Snug
Topic: Little things that irritate you
Replies: 28309
Views: 2039605

Re: Little things that irritate you

Sellotape

Take your pick from: Losing the end. Shredding. Folding on itself.


Next year I’m using Pritstick
by lewisham-mer
Sat Dec 21, 2019 10:40 am
Forum: The Snug
Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Replies: 7428
Views: 1339902

Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

When I was a child, I remember lying with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come.

Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left....
by lewisham-mer
Tue Dec 10, 2019 7:54 pm
Forum: The Snug
Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Replies: 7428
Views: 1339902

Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

What did the drummer name his twin daughters?

Anna One, Anna Two...
by lewisham-mer
Tue Sep 24, 2019 7:34 pm
Forum: The Snug
Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Replies: 7428
Views: 1339902

Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

My friend David has his ID stolen

Now he’s just Dav
by lewisham-mer
Wed Sep 11, 2019 9:27 am
Forum: The Snug
Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Replies: 7428
Views: 1339902

Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

I asked my local baker why all of his cakes were 50p but one was £1.

He said “that’s Madeira cake”
by lewisham-mer
Wed Aug 28, 2019 4:12 pm
Forum: The Snug
Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Replies: 7428
Views: 1339902

Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

A friend of mine, who has a stutter, was telling us about his nana.

By the time he was finished we were all singing Hey Jude
by lewisham-mer
Thu Aug 15, 2019 1:27 pm
Forum: The Snug
Topic: Little things that irritate you
Replies: 28309
Views: 2039605

Re: Little things that irritate you

It’s the middle of august

Card Factory have already got a display of Christmas Cards Headbanger

Bah f’king Humbug
by lewisham-mer
Sat Jun 08, 2019 11:37 am
Forum: The Snug
Topic: Little things that irritate you
Replies: 28309
Views: 2039605

Re: Little things that irritate you

Clacton-ammer wrote:I had a run of years of just breezing through security at airports, last five times I have flown I have been stopped, swabbed, touched up, in the capsule for a scan! If it is random I have been unlucky!
If it’s a big burly bearded bloke feeling me up, I’m not gonna complain... :wink:
by lewisham-mer
Sun May 12, 2019 9:56 pm
Forum: The Snug
Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Replies: 7428
Views: 1339902

Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

FELLAS: Having sex tonight?

Pretend you're a scouser and come second.
by lewisham-mer
Sat May 11, 2019 8:42 pm
Forum: The Snug
Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Replies: 7428
Views: 1339902

Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

I’ve accidentally taken my cat's meds.

Don’t ask me-ow
by lewisham-mer
Mon Mar 11, 2019 12:47 pm
Forum: The Snug
Topic: Little things that irritate you
Replies: 28309
Views: 2039605

Re: Little things that irritate you

Rats/mops that win Crufts.

Proper dogs don’t get a chance!
by lewisham-mer
Sun Feb 03, 2019 11:55 pm
Forum: The Sports Bar
Topic: Superbowl thread
Replies: 53
Views: 4570

Re: Superbowl thread

Watching this on the BBC

Got absolutely no idea what’s going on.

Nothing happens... keep stopping for a rest every 10 seconds. Catch the ball, fall over. Stop.

Bizarre.
by lewisham-mer
Mon Jan 21, 2019 8:51 pm
Forum: The Snug
Topic: Little things that irritate you
Replies: 28309
Views: 2039605

Re: Little things that irritate you

People sitting in window seats on planes who feel the need to get something out, or put something in to the overhead locker every 10 minutes.

Wouldn’t mind too much if it’s a long flight, but 45 mins from Dublin to Gatwick is taking the Michael...
by lewisham-mer
Sat Jan 12, 2019 12:06 pm
Forum: The Snug
Topic: Little things in life that make you smile
Replies: 8338
Views: 759484

Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Having a child-free flight AND having the hottest guy on the plane sitting next to me :scarfer:
by lewisham-mer
Mon Dec 31, 2018 1:21 pm
Forum: The Snug
Topic: Little things that irritate you
Replies: 28309
Views: 2039605

Re: Little things that irritate you

Women who openly declare they are trying for a baby.

But if I tell people I’m being j1zzed in, them I’m grossing them out... :o
by lewisham-mer
Sun Oct 28, 2018 1:21 pm
Forum: The Snug
Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Replies: 7428
Views: 1339902

Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Some guy just said he was going to attack me with the neck of a guitar.

I said “Is that a fret?”
by lewisham-mer
Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:53 pm
Forum: The Snug
Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Replies: 7428
Views: 1339902

Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Just spent £300 on a limo and discovered that the fee doesn't include a driver.

Can't believe I've spent all that money and I have nothing to chauffeur it.
by lewisham-mer
Mon Sep 17, 2018 9:35 am
Forum: The Snug
Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Replies: 7428
Views: 1339902

Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Went to the doc with a four inch pipe sticking out of my head.

He said it’s the worst case of flue he’d seen in a long time...
by lewisham-mer
Sat Sep 15, 2018 5:05 pm
Forum: The Snug
Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Replies: 7428
Views: 1339902

Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

I went to the Butchers yesterday and bet him £50 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf.

He said 'the steaks are too high!'