My wife got me a Russian advent calendar.
.
Every time Ive opened a window an oligarch fell out.
Search found 367 matches
- Sat Dec 02, 2023 11:52 pm
- Forum: Romford's Snug
- Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
- Replies: 9713
- Views: 1670201
- Wed Nov 29, 2023 1:56 pm
- Forum: Romford's Snug
- Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
- Replies: 9713
- Views: 1670201
- Tue Nov 28, 2023 7:32 am
- Forum: Romford's Snug
- Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
- Replies: 9713
- Views: 1670201
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Apparently lots of boiled eggs are being sent to Gaza.
There are reports of heavy shelling in the area,
There are reports of heavy shelling in the area,
- Tue Nov 28, 2023 7:30 am
- Forum: Romford's Snug
- Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
- Replies: 9713
- Views: 1670201
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
While at primary school, Noddy Holder was caught having a snack in class. His teacher let out a roar. "HOLDER, WHAT ARE YOU EATING?" Noddy shouted back." IT's CRISPS MISS".
- Tue Nov 28, 2023 7:26 am
- Forum: Romford's Snug
- Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
- Replies: 9713
- Views: 1670201
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Well, it's getting to that time of year when my wife gets drunk and gives her annual blow job.
I hope it's me this year.
I hope it's me this year.
- Mon Nov 27, 2023 10:32 am
- Forum: Romford's Snug
- Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
- Replies: 9713
- Views: 1670201
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
A doctor told us she thought my grandad had developed both severe Tourettes and cataracts.
But he swore blind that he hadn’t.
But he swore blind that he hadn’t.
- Mon Nov 27, 2023 10:26 am
- Forum: Romford's Snug
- Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
- Replies: 9713
- Views: 1670201
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
My father was born a 'Conjoined twin'
His brother was my uncle on my father's side, once removed.
His brother was my uncle on my father's side, once removed.
- Sun Nov 26, 2023 10:21 am
- Forum: Romford's Snug
- Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
- Replies: 9713
- Views: 1670201
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I bought my wife a slinky dress for her birthday, she looked amazing coming down the stairs.
- Sat Nov 25, 2023 9:37 pm
- Forum: Romford's Snug
- Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
- Replies: 9713
- Views: 1670201
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
A good friend of mine died recently in his local pub
His wife asked him to go out shopping for some cotton but he went to the pub instead for the whole day
Gone but not for cotton.
His wife asked him to go out shopping for some cotton but he went to the pub instead for the whole day
Gone but not for cotton.
- Sat Nov 25, 2023 8:08 am
- Forum: Romford's Snug
- Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
- Replies: 9713
- Views: 1670201
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I Passed wind in the High Street today,
I should have asked him if he still sings with earth and fire
I should have asked him if he still sings with earth and fire
- Fri Nov 24, 2023 9:50 pm
- Forum: Romford's Snug
- Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
- Replies: 9713
- Views: 1670201
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Esther Rantzen and Janet Street-Porter sit down to eat at a restaurant. A waiter comes over and says “Can I interest you two ladies in a small aperitif?”
- Fri Nov 24, 2023 5:53 pm
- Forum: Romford's Snug
- Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
- Replies: 9713
- Views: 1670201
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I think the wife has started to show the first signs of Alzheimer's.
She said she can't remember what she ever saw in me.
She said she can't remember what she ever saw in me.
- Fri Nov 24, 2023 3:03 pm
- Forum: Romford's Snug
- Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
- Replies: 9713
- Views: 1670201
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Push harder!" I shouted to my wife while she was in labour.
"You b*stard!" she screamed back at me. Bit harsh, I thought - it wasn't my fault the car broke down on the way to the hospital
"You b*stard!" she screamed back at me. Bit harsh, I thought - it wasn't my fault the car broke down on the way to the hospital
- Fri Nov 24, 2023 3:02 pm
- Forum: Romford's Snug
- Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
- Replies: 9713
- Views: 1670201
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
My car wasn't going in the direction I wanted it to, so I took to a specialist in Wales, who fixed it in no time.
I can highly recommend Powys Steering.
I can highly recommend Powys Steering.
- Fri Nov 24, 2023 3:01 pm
- Forum: Romford's Snug
- Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
- Replies: 9713
- Views: 1670201
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I was having a tattoo of an Indian on my back.
Halfway through I said to the tattooist "Don't forget his tomahawk."
The tattooist said, "Give me a chance mate, I ain't finished his turban yet."
Halfway through I said to the tattooist "Don't forget his tomahawk."
The tattooist said, "Give me a chance mate, I ain't finished his turban yet."
- Fri Nov 24, 2023 2:59 pm
- Forum: Romford's Snug
- Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
- Replies: 9713
- Views: 1670201
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
A very loud, unattractive, hard-faced woman walks into Tesco with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The door greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Tesco, nice children you've got there. Are they twins?" The fat ugly woman stops scream...
- Fri Nov 24, 2023 2:56 pm
- Forum: Romford's Snug
- Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
- Replies: 9713
- Views: 1670201
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
An old lady is sitting in an old persons home looking out the window when an old man walks up to her and says "I know we can no longer take pleasure is sexual activities but could you come to the park with me and hold my penis?" Seeing no harm in this she agrees and it becomes a regular oc...
- Fri Nov 24, 2023 2:54 pm
- Forum: Romford's Snug
- Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
- Replies: 9713
- Views: 1670201
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
My doctor suggested I should get a vegetable patch and I'm glad he did because now I have managed to give up vegetables altogether
- Fri Nov 24, 2023 2:53 pm
- Forum: Romford's Snug
- Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
- Replies: 9713
- Views: 1670201
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I had my wallet stolen by a little Swiss mountain girl but luckily I was able to pick her out of a Heidi parade.
- Fri Nov 24, 2023 2:51 pm
- Forum: Romford's Snug
- Topic: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
- Replies: 9713
- Views: 1670201
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
When I was a kid I called my hamster Marilyn Monroe because it used to gnaw my jeans.