Great name though, eh?

Sounds like a 1970s German porn flick

Valencia has a little rest nearly every time he gets dispossessed and ends up on his backside. If Reid or Cresswell stay down for a period of time, then odds are they're probably genuinely hurt, but I'm not sure, god bless him, that benefit of the doubt applies to Enner in every instance any more.

He needs to chill out though - his temperament is a red card waiting to happen one day. When Valencia was clearly simulating a head injury at Loftus on the weekend (not for the first time) he went apeshit at the ref for allowing play to continue. Surely he knew it was all a load of nothing from Vale...

Bet he looked at Pedro Obiang's Wikipedia page last week

Reports that our old friend Bob "Twitchy" Martinez is now looking to bring Mbodj to Everton

Milner is a good player but he's not a playmaking central mid. He can be when he's played there rather than on the wing. That final season at Villa I seem to remember him being near enough the best midfielder in the league, and that was when he was playing more centrally due to Young and Downing be...

Funny the gap in most people's perception of James Milner and what he actually plays like. He's capable of some lovely intricate passing and creativity - probably as much as any Englishman currently playing in the PL - but he gets perceived as a lumbering watercarrier.

Might be an unpopular view on here - But I would snap him up in the summer if QPR go down & have a firesale... Thought he was the best player on the pitch today Blimey. Couldn't disagree more (apart from the bit about him being good today - he was). Oddly enough I quite like him as long as he's...

Adrian had a great game, but I actually don't think the penalty save was the reason for that - it was a howler from Austin, Adrian couldn't have got out of the way of it if he tried.

It's games like his that make you realise the reason we've conceded a lot of late goals, and it isn't luck. When you create a team that can't retain possession of the ball, then you're going to allow loads more chances for goals to be conceded at the end when a team is flooding forward.

Looking at the other results today, it looks like 8th is off the table now, and even 9th might be a struggle. 10th or below will be an incredibly disappointing close to the season

Thought Valencia looked alright today as well. Needs to add goals to his game next season but he's a useful player to have in the squad.

Noble hasn't been any better than Nolan since Christmas.

Have friends who support Southend that won't shut up about Bentley there. Recently equalled their record number of clean sheets - 10 in a row I think. Would seem a very sensible choice to replace Jussi in the squad next season.

The Mirror reckon that Chelsea will sell Oscar to fund move for Valencia. I could see this happening - maybe not Oscar leaving them, but Valencia leaving us. £20m plus the previous budget would be healthy temptation for a new manager. I've heard some crazy sh*t in my time, but this would take the c...

The main reason you can ask a silly fee for a player like Cresswell is because the sole reason a City or a Chelsea want him is to comply with the homegrown quota. He's had a great season but we all know they wouldn't be seeking him out if he was Australian. English players always had a premium, but ...

Again, that doesn't tell you much about how he would have played at the Emirates. That was a long run of games against fodder from the bottom of the table, including two games against his bunnies Swansea - 4 of his 7 goals in the last two years have been against them. I don't understand how people c...

I think we miss Andy Carroll. Vital player for us. Becoming more apparent every game. I think this is a prime example of wrong consclusions being drawn from unrelated instances. You might as well say it's Vaz Te that's the missing link given it's all turned to crap since he departed for Turkey. The...

The failure of the board to complete any deals to immediately improve the squad is clearly down to them. Us not still competing for 4th, 5th and 6th place is down to their decision not to pursue that avenue in the winter. Us looking like being soon overtaken by West Brom and the like is down to the...

So ****ing annoyed with G & S....I say it every week but this collapse is on them for their pathetic efforts in the window trying to give it billy big b*llocks on the last day. Give over. Hardly any clubs did any business in the winter. You can't possibly blame not getting an extra centre-half ...

I like Jenkinson a lot and it'll be to our benefit if we can get him sorted, but he isn't irreplaceable. We haven't been keeping clean sheets and nor have the assists been flooding in - he's just a good, quick defender. He looks amazing because of the dearth of quality we had for a decade in the ful...