Little things in life that make you smile

[Johnny Byrne's Boots]

I absolutely ****ing love having a penis. It's an incredibly useful piece of kit.

Her said, in a thread titled "Little things...."

[westham,eggyandchips]

It seems to me that there has been a real improvement in the mood and activity on kumb in recent weeks.

Some of the comments about our players, manager and board are outstanding. Our sense of humour is the darkest and best of any football fan in the land.

Proud of you all for putting a smile on my face at such a terrible time.

[Samba]

Some of the comments about our players, manager and board are outstanding. Our sense of humour is the darkest and best of any football fan in the land.

The 'Blitz spirit'.
We've always had it & we've still got it.

[southbrishammer]

My kids were watching a Christmas edition of Inspector Gadget (new CGI version, not the 1980s one) yesterday. At one point Inspector G mentioned "high levels of humbuggery". Made me smirk.

[ageing hammer]

Underrated movie IMO. I rewatched Innerspace last week. Why doesn’t Hollywood make comedies any more?

Innerspace is a great show Dan, hollywood cannot make much good films these days ,there is no talent left

[Burnley Hammer]

Every time I open 'The Snug', I instantly misread one of the thread titles as 'Getting a cat to make tablets' and have visions of a cat in a drugs lab dressed up like Walter White.

[badabing]

We have a 4 month old pup, and two 5 year old cats, they tolerate him quite well usually, as soon as he sees them he thinks ah playmates but they just bugger off.
Yesterday the cat was having a snooze on the sofa when the dog spied her. Tail wagging happily he bounded over to the sofa, put his paws up on it and stuck his face towards her. Before he knew what had hit him the cat had given him an almighty slap. Cue much yelping and whining as he retreated to his bed, frantically rubbing his stinging snout with his paws.
The cat meanwhile had already curled up and gone back to sleep, message well and truly delivered.

I did feel sorry for him but it was bloody funny at the same time, that`ll learn him.

[S-H]

Successful application for Euro 2020 tickets!

[Estuary]

I tend to take three's of things, biscuits etc and this afternoon I realized why. I have two brothers, so subconsciously I am still stealing their share!

[AlfieG]

And that little observation made me smile Estuary.

[Cockneyboy311]

Successful application for Euro 2020 tickets!

We await your post in the things that irritate you thread in 6 months.

[-DL-]

I know he's not one of ours, but this made me smile. Good to see any athlete on the comeback after horrific injury

[DasNutNock2]

I think this might be a couple years old, but made me chuckle this morning:

[S-H]

Registered the biggest poo, of my life, tonight.

Pretty chuffed, never thought the 'monster of 98' would be beaten, but there you go.

Never give up on your dreams.

[Tenbury]

It beat 98cms?.....F*cks sake!

[DasNutNock2]

Registered the biggest poo, of my life, tonight.

Pretty chuffed, never thought the 'monster of 98' would be beaten, but there you go.

Never give up on your dreams.

Interestingly, my PB was set in 99. Returned to the office after a day on the road where I consumed a large bag of wine gums, a roll of pringles and a litre of coke. John Cleese-walked into the trap and deposited a length of dirty spine the likes of which I’d never seen before (or since). Great memories.

[vietnammer]

I had one that would not flush until I broke it up. Staring at me all defiant it was.

[-DL-]

Whilst not so much length, I have recently had sheer quantity. Been on Co-Codamol and I thought I was escaping the usual back-log that you usually get with them. Then I have a CT Scan for other related issues, and they spot that I am backed up all the way through my colon and beyond, and I was prescribed laxatives.

It took a couple of days but goodness me - when it came out, it was amazing. About half way through, it stopped splashing in the pan and 'slapped' on the now growing pile instead. There was just so much **** I've never known anything like it.

Then came the flush. I had a look of panic as shitty brown water came rising up the pan, but someone must have been watching down over me, because just as it was what must have been millimetres from flooding over the top of the rim like some kind of chocolate soup, there was a gurgle and it gave way and disappeared down the U bend.

I never though it was possible for a man to store that much **** in one's body as what came out of my poor delicate sphincter that morning.

[Hummer_I_mean_Hammer]

I think this might be a couple years old, but made me chuckle this morning

Yea, Dan's back.

[Eggs'n'nuts]

There was a horse running today at Chantilly with the jockey in Claret and Blue silks. It's name:

No money, no fanny. Sadly it didn't win.