The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

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Samba
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Samba » Wed Jun 26, 2019 4:26 pm

Samba wrote:F*cking 'ell, Tenners. That's a sad story. How are you feeling about it? You must be shocked.
Tenbury wrote:The underlying anger aside, I salute his courage. I'll miss him , but only until the next one's turn.
Someone who I only briefly knew (met them 3 or 4 times last year) took their life, earlier this month (probably mental ill health related). It could be wrong of me to assume that though.
One of the strongest things I felt, was anger. Anger that they hadn't beaten their problems.
All I can end up thinking though, is that they are no longer suffering.

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S-H
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by S-H » Thu Jun 27, 2019 12:59 pm

Has anybody heard the last hour on TalkSport?

Leon Mckenzie has been on talking mental health, they've had quite a few callers come on to speak to Leon, and he has been brilliant, having suffered himself, it's powerful stuff and worth listening to, if it's available.

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Samba
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Samba » Fri Jul 05, 2019 2:28 am

Bumping this important thread.
I hope everyone's not too bad.

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Cambs Iron
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Cambs Iron » Fri Jul 05, 2019 9:04 am

I know the weather doesn't fix mental health but its a huge factor in people feeling good about themselves. Maybe this thread being quiet is in relation to that, hope everyone is well and don't suffer in silence.

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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by pablo jaye » Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:45 pm

Cambs - it would actually be interesting to get people’s thoughts on this ... is the better weather having a positive effect on your mental health? If so, why?

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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Samba » Fri Jul 05, 2019 7:03 pm

Unfortunately, as far as seasons are concerned, I'm nuts all year round.
Rather prefer the warmth & long, light evenings to the dark & cold, though.
Funnily enough, I've known some people with depression who prefer the dark & cold.

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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by thosewerethedays » Fri Jul 05, 2019 8:37 pm

I can’t speak for the people with depression, but I hate the good weather. I think that in the good weather everybody seems to be having fun and I don’t think they should, I think everybody should be sad and unhappy and I resent the fact that they are not.
Whether they are actually having more fun in the sun, or whether it’s because they are enjoying themselves outside, so I can just hear it more, I don’t know.
All illogical and bitter I know.

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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Samba » Fri Jul 05, 2019 9:16 pm

No, I & I'm sure others can understand it very well, twtd.
Like the problem with social media, people loudly enjoying Summer can make it feel like everyone's living happier lives than ourselves. It probably is because you hear the outside world much more, at this time of year & sometimes it can feel or even be, very intrusive.
If we're sad & unhappy in ourselves, no wonder the sound of others 'living it up', might make us feel worse.
It is our perception though. There's actually a lot of sad & unhappy people as well, out there. I suppose by definition, they tend to be quieter.

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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by WestHamByTheSea » Fri Jul 05, 2019 10:28 pm

thosewerethedays wrote:I can’t speak for the people with depression, but I hate the good weather. I think that in the good weather everybody seems to be having fun and I don’t think they should, I think everybody should be sad and unhappy and I resent the fact that they are not.
Whether they are actually having more fun in the sun, or whether it’s because they are enjoying themselves outside, so I can just hear it more, I don’t know.
All illogical and bitter I know.
I think this is an important point to pick out. Good weather (as well as certain times of the year such as when the clocks go forward or even in winter when we might have beautiful sunsets in the afternoon) is an unpredictable thing when it comes to depression (or anxiety for that matter).

I've been on a broadly upward curve this year after coming to the utter limit mentally last year, and as such have been in a better place to be able to act upon the easy maxim of "hey the sun's out, that's great, I'll go for a walk, get a tan, watch the sunset over the sea etc etc". But when one is in a 'stuck' bad place mentally, it can indeed have the reverse effect. When depression really takes hold, it can invert all logic and basically make black=white - to whit, "the weather's lovely today...well maybe it will be tomorrow, I'll go out then" or "So what if the weather's great, it's been great before". Such stuff seems logical to the depressed mind. And then often the next day the opposite will be true.
Even in my generally improved mindset of late, I've had days recently where I've decided to not go, even for a few minute walk to the beach or the park - almost to spite myself and prove the negative mindset right.


I'm no professional on all this but i have been at the wrong end of this stuff for a very long time, so I'll only offer this advice to take or ignore.

Basically, don't (or at least try not to) beat yourself up if you find yourself reacting badly to the good weather. It isn't nor should it be a 'sunny and hot is good, not like that is bad' thing. It's just how you are feeling, and just cos of the way society (understandably to be fair) bases itself around a 'sunny=good' mentality doesn't mean a thing. I've found one of the best ways of avoiding this essentially 'guilty' emotion at not being out and frolicing amongst the hoardes is to try and find something that you like to do indoors and can only do indoors (and bear in mind getting some on the top deck of a bus doesn't always count). It can be anything - cook something, watch a favourite film, do some chores, listen to music, literally anything that you might choose to do on a snowy January evening. Just find and recall something that you like doing and do it, and don't give a tit about whether it's 85 and cloudless outside. Who knows, it might put you into a nice mood to venture out for a little walk or what have you and then you might have a different perspective and enjoy the weather?!


Essentially, try to be accepting to and kinder to yourself. Don't worry about what you think is 'expected of you' at this time of year - it's moreorless the same process as not getting too fretful about false Xmas or New Year cheer. If you don't wanna go surfing, then don't. If you do, do. It's all good.


Sorry for turning into Tony Robbins a bit, but trust me from experience - don't fret if you feel like you're missing out on the generic expectations that surround how we're supposed to be in the summertime. It's all good. The Cure have just rocked the hottest and sunniest Glastonbury for 24 years after all, and they basically didn't leave their house - except to moan about how they didn't want to leave their house - between 1979-1999! 8-)

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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Hammer Laffers » Fri Jul 05, 2019 10:55 pm

pablo jaye wrote:Cambs - it would actually be interesting to get people’s thoughts on this ... is the better weather having a positive effect on your mental health? If so, why?
Yup this is me.

During the winter I am pretty much suicidal. I get lots of suicidal thoughts especially if I’m on a run of nights where I might not see day light for 5 days.

Luckily I’ve stopped doing shift work for 9 months. Just your usual mon-fri office hours. I’ve said that I won’t do any nights until I go back to a role where I need to. Although I struggle just having the weekends off I already feel that my mood is so much better. I’m sleeping better, eating better and despite me having a really few proper **** weeks I feel much better in myself.

My main worry though is alcohol. Now that I am getting in at around 5 and I have my evenings back I am finding myself having a drink pretty much every night. I probably need to substitute it with exercise.

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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by WHU Independent » Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:39 am

I am Vit D deficient and I've been spending a lot of time out in the sun, soaking up the rays.

It has affected me in a positive way. I am more pro active and have more energy than I usually have. I do more stuff. I am more positive and sociable.

Despite some of the really nasty **** I have in my life., I feel better in myself through sitting in the sun,

It really works for me.

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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Samba » Sat Jul 06, 2019 4:58 pm

WHU Independent wrote:I am Vit D deficient and I've been spending a lot of time out in the sun, soaking up the rays.
Some say (not the NHS, maybe for £ reasons?) that most people in the UK are probably deficient or at least on the low side. We all really don't get enough sun, for the majority of the year, being quite Northerly in our hemisphere.
And remember, you have to eat the right foods & THEN get some sun on your bare skin, to activate it.
That doesn't mean baking in it for hours though!

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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Hammer Laffers » Sat Jul 06, 2019 11:52 pm

RUOK.

A phase commonly said at work.

Tonight. No I’m not ok.

My now ex girlfriend has lied and cheated her way through our relationship. Has £7k of my money that I never expect to realistically get back and has turned a lot of people against me with lies. It’s only tonight that I’ve found out the extent of the lies and it all sounds familiar from a life that I once had and put away.

Done with it all tbh.

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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by bubbles1966 » Sun Jul 07, 2019 12:40 am

As annoying as it can be to look at relationships in hindsight - getting rid of a wrong 'un is always a good thing. If they ain't right for you, move on.

Get people and events that drag you down out of your life. Life's too short and too precious to waste on them. Do the things you like and enjoy them as much and as often as you can. (sorry if that seems vacuous,)

I don't pop in here very often because I don't feel I can add much value - but lots of love to all of you who feel a bit low for whatever reason. I'm absolutely sure that plenty of people who've met you or only know you through here , really wish the best for you.

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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Tenbury » Sun Jul 07, 2019 5:29 am

HL,
Your not dumb, you know that the bitterness, (and f**k me doesn't that cut deep?) will only diminish with time. Even in month or two it won't be as raw. Try and blank it as much as you can, and when you can't, rant away on here or phone a helpline, that's what they're for. Finding out someone close has been taking the piss is pretty devastating, but at least now you know, and it aint happening now.
You're well rid, and in time, even 7grand will seem like a bargain, that's just money, and your personal self respect is worth far,far more, in truth you couldn't put a price on it.
It's her loss mate, bollox to her. Good luck.

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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by pablo jaye » Sun Jul 07, 2019 7:30 am

Laffers - sorry to hear about your tough time. You are one of life’s good eggs and you will end up in a better place .... whilst it is very difficult at the moment and it doesn’t seem like that there is any way forward, you will come through it. As mentioned above in a few days, weeks, months time things will get better and you’ll be able to look back. Whilst the time and money you have invested in the relationship is significant - it could be a lot worse, if it had continued for longer.

As for the lies to friends .... the real ones that are worth their salt will see the lies for what they are.

Also, keep chatting?

:scarfer:

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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by The Old Man of Storr » Sun Jul 07, 2019 7:39 am

Good advice from Tenbury and Pablo :thup:


Mood is naturally low just now , been on strong antibiotics which themselves make me feel ill , fighting some form of bacteria in the blood due to pancreatitis , got another seven days of them to go . Will feel better when I get home .
Love to you ALL .

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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Samba » Sun Jul 07, 2019 4:42 pm

The Old Man of Storr wrote:Good advice from Tenbury and Pablo :thup:
Mood is naturally low just now , been on strong antibiotics which themselves make me feel ill , fighting some form of bacteria in the blood due to pancreatitis , got another seven days of them to go . Will feel better when I get home .
Love to you ALL .
Get yourself some Yacult or Actimel, TOMoS. Antibiotics supposedly wipe out our good bacteria as well as the bad.

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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Samba » Sun Jul 07, 2019 4:51 pm

Laffers, that's some tough sh*t you've been & are going through. There's some right utter b*stards out there, male & female. As the others said, try & count yourself lucky now that you're out of it. You don't need liars & cheaters in your life. Nobody does.

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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Lovejoy2 » Sun Jul 07, 2019 5:08 pm

Cambs Iron wrote:I know the weather doesn't fix mental health but its a huge factor in people feeling good about themselves. Maybe this thread being quiet is in relation to that, hope everyone is well and don't suffer in silence.
I enjoy seeing more sunshine but I hate the heat, plus the flies and the hot bedrooms at night, roll on Autumn in my opinion, oh and on a side note I don't think the time of year or weather affects my mood etc.

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