The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

[mushy]

This week has been Mental Health Awareness week.
https://www.who.int/news-room/events/de ... prevention

The above has some good tips on suicide prevention and other stuff that might be if interest to some of us on here.

[mushy]

I've had some truly terrible times in my life, most of them, business related, like being well and truly ripped off and stitched up by former business partners or associates, whilst they have sailed off into the sunset and lived the life of Old Riley. That would be enough to send most people off into a bout of depression, but not me. I have always thought, get on, put it behind you and do something about it, or just move on. So, here is my question, because I just don't understand it, what makes some people give up and give in and what makes some people, try and get even ? There is a thing called the Fight or fright chromosome, or is that the difference ?

Puff, as a trained counselor in depression, shouldn't it be you that answers your own question?
:lol:

[Puff Daddy]

Puff, as a trained counselor in depression, shouldn't it be you that answers your own question?
:lol:

I am not a trained mental health counsellor, nor ever have been. I was, until recently, an employment coach on Department for Work and Pensions Work programme, where a great part of my job was to help customers claiming Employment and Support Allowance (ESA) move closer to the job market. Many of these were people suffering from Depression and Anxiety issues

[The Old Man of Storr]

I've had some truly terrible times in my life, most of them, business related, like being well and truly ripped off and stitched up by former business partners or associates, whilst they have sailed off into the sunset and lived the life of Old Riley. That would be enough to send most people off into a bout of depression, but not me. I have always thought, get on, put it behind you and do something about it, or just move on. So, here is my question, because I just don't understand it, what makes some people give up and give in and what makes some people, try and get even ? There is a thing called the Fight or fright chromosome, or is that the difference ?

First of all , Good On You - it's good that you were able to get over your troubles so quickly and so well , some people are able to focus on the good they've got left in their lives - everyone who posts on here in fact , it may take them longer than others but they get there in the end [ see Prawn Sandwich's story ] .
We're all different .

[S-H]

Great stuff Prawny.
When you have those dark moments,try looking back through a few pages of this thread,and see how far you've come already.You're much,much stronger than you think

This.

[Monkeybubbles]

.

Take it easy out there guys.
Much love.

Much love to you too mate. Inspirational.

[pablo jaye]

I’ve had a few things on my mind recently - nothing big but a series of small niggles that cumulatively add up. In terms of my mental health they have just knocked a little edge off my usually positive demeanour and I’ve felt I haven’t had as much spark.

One of the things it has affected is my desire to go out running, which I usually enjoy (albeit very slowly) ... I’ve not been as arsed as much recently to go out. I’m also due to do the Great South Run next Sunday and my prep for this is way off. Yesterday, I did my last long run before the event - it was pouring in rain, and I managed to run for 2 hours (I’ll do the 10 Miles in about 2.10hrs). I came back and since then have felt slightly better ... the fresh air, getting soaking wet, and getting my mojo working better. Might try this again!!

[mushy]

I am not a trained mental health counsellor, nor ever have been.

I counsel a hell of lot of people suffering from anxiety and depression

You can see why I maybe a little confused though puff.

[mushy]

Yesterday, I did my last long run before the event - it was pouring in rain, and I managed to run for 2 hours (I’ll do the 10 Miles in about 2.10hrs). I came back and since then have felt slightly better ... the fresh air, getting soaking wet, and getting my mojo working better. Might try this again!!

Keep getting that mojo back Pablo!
Great stuff.

[Samba]

So, here is my question, because I just don't understand it, what makes some people give up and give in and what makes some people, try and get even ?

You ask a great question, puff. One of the biggest questions of humanity. What is it, that made/makes us who we are.
Whoever had the answer would be a very rich person. Needless to say, so far there isn't a definitive answer. There are lots of theories, however.
Some say it's the genes we're born with (nature), others says it's what has happened to us, during our lives (nurture).
The current favoured belief is that it is probably a subtle mix of the two. To say, 'it's complicated', is an understatement..
One crucial thing to always remember though is, no one consciously or actively, chooses to be mentally distressed.
Yes, some people have claimed to be but, it is actually very difficult to pretend.
Far, far more easier to hide it out of necessity, when it's true. Which in itself, doesn't help other people to begin to understand it.

[Clacton-ammer]

Mental health complicated - not sure even Stephen Hawking would have been able to explain it.

Is there an epidemic now? Or has it always been there and people are just more open/understanding now as a huge amount of stigma has been removed? There's a question I cannot answer.

I have been involved in more mental health cases with employees over the past few years than the previous 20. One thing I have learnt for me to handle it is to have empathy, not sympathy.

[Turns to Stone]

I've had some truly terrible times in my life, most of them, business related, like being well and truly ripped off and stitched up by former business partners or associates, whilst they have sailed off into the sunset and lived the life of Old Riley. That would be enough to send most people off into a bout of depression, but not me. I have always thought, get on, put it behind you and do something about it, or just move on. So, here is my question, because I just don't understand it, what makes some people give up and give in and what makes some people, try and get even ? There is a thing called the Fight or fright chromosome, or is that the difference ?

Because people are all different.

[mushy]

. One thing I have learnt for me to handle it is to have empathy, not sympathy.

Boom!
Absolutely this 100%. Empathy can be very hard to achieve though, and extremely tiring but fantastically helpful to the person in need.

[mushy]

This is very good and quite moving.

Well worth a couple of minutes of your time I would say.

[Tenbury]

How to react to someone 's mental illness.It's like your child coming out to you really isn't it? Everyone,hopefully, knows how NOT to react, but that's not really helpful.

Clackers,with great credit, says you need to show empathy, and I'm sure he's right,but TBH when I tell people things aren't so great, I don't want to hear their medical history,or tell them mine...they can't fix it.I think a lot of people are frightened of mental illness,or at least turn away from it because they fear they might find it in themselves....and who can blame them?....and maybe they're correct,Why?

Because, in my, now at least sober, madness,personally speaking it's nothing but an entirely rational way of reacting to the insanity of modern industrialised technological life.I may bore the arse off people with the birding/fishing/gardening stuff , but it's the only time I can feel safe.It's the only thing of REAL value.

It's as though depression,which for me is the inevitable result of any introspection, is the natural default position.You hear people say how historically people were too busy staying alive to be depressed, but I beg to differ, they were ,in my opinion, better connected to nature itself ( and that really isn't just me loving a lot of the life /work of the amazing John Clare).
This began as an effort to make a serious point, then ,as per , quickly went downhill. .....
The only thing we need that nature doesn't have, is,perhaps, the real reason we're here, and,without doubt, the only way we'll survive....kindness.

[Danny's Dyer Acting]

I've opened this thread to post about 4 times in the last hour and backed out of it. I posted in here about 10 months ago and said then that I felt silly talking about whatever I have going on given the number of people in here with what I'd class as "real" problems as opposed to whatever confusion and uncertainty I have going on.

I've been trying to push myself over the last week into making a big decision - do I stay with my job or do I quit? If I quit, I probably have to leave the country, move back to the UK and start all over again.

It's not really the taking a step backwards that worries me. It's what the next step forward would be.

I've been doing the same sort of thing for about 10 years now but I don't think it's what I want. But then I don't know what I want. Sure a lot of people can relate!

The problem I have is that not having something major I'm working towards leads me to completely losing all motivation every few months. If I just had me to worry about I wouldn't really care about that but I have 20 or so people that I'm responsible for and how well those people do dictates how well the company of 60+ people does. So I guess I'm in a constant cycle of my personal issues impacting on a massive group and feeling like I need to move out of the way before I drag people down with me.

[The Old Man of Storr]

Because, in my, now at least sober, madness,personally speaking it's nothing but an entirely rational way of reacting to the insanity of modern industrialised technological life.I may bore the arse off people with the birding/fishing/gardening stuff , but it's the only time I can feel safe.It's the only thing of REAL value.

It's as though depression,which for me is the inevitable result of any introspection, is the natural default position.You hear people say how historically people were too busy staying alive to be depressed, but I beg to differ, they were ,in my opinion, better connected to nature itself ( and that really isn't just me loving a lot of the life /work of the amazing John Clare).
This began as an effort to make a serious point, then ,as per , quickly went downhill. .....
The only thing we need that nature doesn't have, is,perhaps, the real reason we're here, and,without doubt, the only way we'll survive....kindness.

The Industrial Revolution and Steve Jobs have a lot to answer for , not to mention that other modern day invention , the Television .

I'm at my happiest when I'm outside and while combining the outdoors with exercise is even better I only have to take myself out of my front door to feel better , whether it's sitting in a chair with a pile of books around me , doing a bit of light gardening or just sitting beside the river down at Kinloch , Loch Dougal or Loch Baravaig -

p.s. I'm more of an Andrew Marvell man myself .

[Samba]

It's as though depression,which for me is the inevitable result of any introspection, is the natural default position.You hear people say how historically people were too busy staying alive to be depressed, but I beg to differ, they were ,in my opinion, better connected to nature itself ( and that really isn't just me loving a lot of the life /work of the amazing John Clare).
This began as an effort to make a serious point, then ,as per , quickly went downhill. .....
The only thing we need that nature doesn't have, is,perhaps, the real reason we're here, and,without doubt, the only way we'll survive....kindness.

Interesting post, Tenners.

[Samba]

I've opened this thread to post about 4 times in the last hour and backed out of it. I posted in here about 10 months ago and said then that I felt silly talking about whatever I have going on given the number of people in here with what I'd class as "real" problems as opposed to whatever confusion and uncertainty I have going on.

This thread is also the right one for confusion & uncertainty, DDA.
It sounds like you feel a bit, stuck in a rut. It's horrible feeling utterly, demotivated but I can see how difficult it would feel to leave when you equally don't yet know what you would like to do.
Is being responsible for 20 people more of a burden than a motivation?

[ToiletDuck]

Danny Dyer
i used to feel 'silly' posting about how I felt / feel on here.
what you have to remember is all of us can only deal with so much before it starts to eat away at us and cause us to be ill. the same is true for physical illness others have better immune systems to fight off colds etc.

this place has let me speak freely and actually be listened to , so whatever you feel please post and don't bottle it up.

check in from me :-
job hunt is rubbish , been declined one for being over qualified and the next two i have are for self-employment , which i dont exactly want or need.
dad had another stroke, serious this time and is acting like someone who has dementia, mom is stressing and i am not sure how she will cope
the ex is pestering me again and i know i will feel even worse after i meet her, but havnt got the strength to 'battle' with her.