A sad and tragic tale here. I got married 19 years ago next week.Lovely girl who went on to be a fantastic wife,and then mother to our two boys.Over time though something wasn't right. She would come out with some of the most random threats, Accusations of being bullied in work,people trying to get her out.
She would apply for other jobs, get them, but once she was told she had been successful, she wouldn't take up the offer.This happened a few times.She would also get upset and say that's it i'm not coming home.I am going to the woods to hang myself. Said so many times it became normal vocabulary in the house.I called it attention seeking.
Without going on too much, in 2010 i found out she was having an affair,with none other than my Brother. Time passed,and in the end she left me with my two Sons to bring up.
5 years on since she left.I got a call 3 weeks ago tomorrow from her work, concerned she hadn't turned up that day.Her landlady was concerned as her car was still on the drive.Police were called, and she was found hanging in local woods.
As my boys are next of kin, yet only 12 and 18 years of age.I had been asked to take over all arrangements.Last week we had the cremation I arranged it all. I had to empty her room in the place she shared. In that room were photo albums titled My Family. Inside there were pics of the boys, Her Mum and dad.The Dog. Then my Brother. In 10 years of marriage the only trace in her life of me was a pair of West Ham cufflinks i wore on our wedding day.
I have all the paperwork, banks, pensions,store cards, return a lease car.So much to do. Only 45 a tragic waste, and the boys without their mother.
Good Evening Kumbers. Firstly i would like to apologise to you all for not updating you on my situation,as mentioned above but will try to now as best i can. Sorry for lengthy post.
Well after all the above, i began moving forward with arranging my ex wife's funeral. It all went ok ,as far as funerals go.My brother whom my ex wife had an affair with,and was still seeing her,attended and was in bits. I stood at the front of the Crem, alongside my two Sons . as the Rev read out a story i had written about her with full respect.
After the funeral i spoke to my brother,and told him he must move on for the sake of his two children, just like i had to when my ex wife left me.I left it by shaking his hand.He did not attend the wake.
25 days after my ex wife's Cremation, i recieved a phone call from my Mother.Crying and screaming.Could i go to her house,some 10 mins from mine.Chris,come quick ,it's your Brother.I raced down to find my Brother hanging from the loft .I cut him down, he fell on top of me.I called the emergency services,tried recuss, but at a guess,he had been dead for 2 hrs at least.The Police and Paramedics arrived.Nothing they could do.The next few days were comforting my Mum, but in the meantime i had been recieving msgs from a woman whom i had never met,asking to meet up with me,She was heartbroken after hearing about my Brother. I agreed to meet her as she told me she wanted to tell me something important.
I still had a lot of anger in me from what my brother did,especially in my Mum's house.Knowing she would walk in and see him.
Anyway,as i was walking to meet this woman.I took a call. It was from the Coroner,confirming the cause of death as hanging,but they had also found traces of kidney and liver cancer.
I met this woman,and the story unfolded. Firstly this woman was someone my brother had been giving lifts to work.It became apparant he had come across some of the behaviour and issues i had experienced with my ex wife. He had tried to end his relationship with her but she had told him she would end her life if he left.He had become unhappy, and was seeing this woman.
She also told me,last October, my brother had been diagnosed with aggressive prostate cancer. He refused any treatment,but was warned without it he would be dead in 12 months.He told none of his family, no one else but this woman who he told her to swear not to say anything. She told me of his days in pain,the hospital visits,the painkillers he took. I now believe the cancer had spread from his prostate to his kidneys and liver,and was now creeping into his bones.The pain got too much for him,so he ended his life.
As the days passed, my anger turned to pity, and a feeling of i wish he had told me.his brother.I would have supported him,and been there. We sadly laid him to rest on the 9th August.
So as you can see, 2 suicides in 4 weeks. A lot to take. My boys are moving forward, getting counselling, and lots of support and help. Doctors,Police and friends can't believe how i have handled all this,but i have remained strong.Where this strength has come from i don't know. I have my brother's inquest in Dec. and as my ex wife's inquest is in another county,and they appear to be a bit slow it is not until 18th feb next year I continue to sort out my ex wife's finances and other paperwork.
Thanks for reading this. Chris aka Sliema 1990