The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

[mushy]

Great post Toiletduck (and you Samba).
The whole idea of this thread is that its a safe place, a place where people can come and open up and not be judged in any way shape or form. Its a place you can come to and no matter what you write, there will be someone here willing to listen and give you the chance to open up.
So, even if you regard your own troubles as trivial or silly, nobody else will, that is why this thread exists and why this thread works.
Its ok not to be ok.

Toiletduck, do you really have to meet your ex?
I decided some while back to try and avoid anyone that bought any negativity into my life, they tend to drag you down to their level rather then you pulling them up to yours.
I feel a lot better for it.

[ToiletDuck]

Hi Mushy
I dont have to meet her, but its that or she turns up at the house, parents live next door and with dad the way he is its easier to meet her.
Felt pretty crap after , thanks to some snide comments , no sleep from dads screaming.
No motivation at all, feeling worthless again.

[Greatest Cockney Rip Off]

I've had some truly terrible times in my life, most of them, business related, like being well and truly ripped off and stitched up by former business partners or associates, whilst they have sailed off into the sunset and lived the life of Old Riley. That would be enough to send most people off into a bout of depression, but not me. I have always thought, get on, put it behind you and do something about it, or just move on. So, here is my question, because I just don't understand it, what makes some people give up and give in and what makes some people, try and get even ? There is a thing called the Fight or fright chromosome, or is that the difference ?

Because mental illness is just that. An illness. If there were outward signs like a limp or rash then I'm sure people would be more sympathetic. There aren't so it's very easy to say, oh just snap out of it or there's no way I'd behave like that. The truth is, the person suffering wants to snap out of but that'd be like saying to someone with a broken leg, "Oh just get up and walk, what's the matter with you?" It's good that you can just get on with things after a kick in the teeth but the sad fact is, some people can't. Some don't even need a kick in the teeth. The fact they have to wake up in the morning and live fills them with dread. Is that normal - of course it's not, but if you have chemical imbalance in your brain, then no amount of "just get on with it" pep-talks are going to fix it.

[Samba]

Hi Mushy
I dont have to meet her, but its that or she turns up at the house, parents live next door and with dad the way he is its easier to meet her.
Felt pretty crap after , thanks to some snide comments , no sleep from dads screaming.
No motivation at all, feeling worthless again.

One thing you're not, is worthless, TD. You might feel like you are but you're really not. You are going through a rough time though & it sounds like you have been for some time. People suffering with depression very often feel worthless & have little or no motivation. You need to try to get some help for yourself with this. It is not your fault or your own doing, always try to remember that.

[Samba]

Because mental illness is just that. An illness. If there were outward signs like a limp or rash then I'm sure people would be more sympathetic. There aren't so it's very easy to say, oh just snap out of it or there's no way I'd behave like that. The truth is, the person suffering wants to snap out of but that'd be like saying to someone with a broken leg, "Oh just get up and walk, what's the matter with you?" It's good that you can just get on with things after a kick in the teeth but the sad fact is, some people can't. Some don't even need a kick in the teeth. The fact they have to wake up in the morning and live fills them with dread. Is that normal - of course it's not, but if you have chemical imbalance in your brain, then no amount of "just get on with it" pep-talks are going to fix it.

You have a good understanding, GC.

[Danny's Dyer Acting]

Is being responsible for 20 people more of a burden than a motivation?

That's a good question. Gut answer is yes.

I really like the individual side of managing people. There's a handful of people that report directly to me where I feel so engaged in making sure they reach their potential.

Currently have my resignation letter sitting in drafts on my email and no idea whether or not to hit send.

[Tenbury]

Because mental illness is just that. An illness. If there were outward signs like a limp or rash then I'm sure people would be more sympathetic. There aren't so it's very easy to say, oh just snap out of it or there's no way I'd behave like that. The truth is, the person suffering wants to snap out of but that'd be like saying to someone with a broken leg, "Oh just get up and walk, what's the matter with you?" It's good that you can just get on with things after a kick in the teeth but the sad fact is, some people can't. Some don't even need a kick in the teeth. The fact they have to wake up in the morning and live fills them with dread. Is that normal - of course it's not, but if you have chemical imbalance in your brain, then no amount of "just get on with it" pep-talks are going to fix it.

...I'd put that at first post too.

[Tenbury]

DDA,

You raise an important conundrum, of course you should show people kindness and consideration,and it's to your credit that you are, but you're not their Mum!
Adults , in good health, have to take responsibility for themselves (and largely would want to).Who's to say they won't prosper in the future?I
Either way, you've got your own life to lead. [Hope I'm not speaking out of turn]. Best Wishes.

[The Old Man of Storr]

Stress and Mental Illness are two separate issues but stress impacts on mental health which can then manifest itself in different ways - If you're mental health is poor to begin with , stress will be harder to deal with .

For all you guys suffering just remember that nothing lasts forever , problems come and they go , it's just that whatever is affecting you is always in the now - there will be a day when you're not feeling this bad , it's just a period of time to get through .

Remember also that you're not alone .

[ToiletDuck]

Would anyone be interested in a buddy-check-in system just to keep tabs on each other
how it would work is for instance

person A text person B to see how they are
B texts C
C texts A

if you dont hear from or off your buddy then we can put the bat signal out

just a thought

[S-H]

Would anyone be interested in a buddy-check-in system just to keep tabs on each other
how it would work is for instance

person A text person B to see how they are
B texts C
C texts A

if you dont hear from or off your buddy then we can put the bat signal out

just a thought

If it helps anyone, I'm happy to get involved.

[ToiletDuck]

tried to do some wallpapering today, first time i have attempted it and failed miserably its an old house with uneven walls and ceilings , now sat with a cuppa fighting t o hold back the tears as i feel a failure and a fool.
my brain says it was a decent attempt and all the practical things, but emotionally i am in pieces again

dad is screaming most of the day and night after being back home from his stroke , so nobody is sleeping that well. he has just had a full blown breakdown because there was a wasp in his room.

[Mega Ron]

Try not to worry about it TD. You have tried to get the job done but you've realised that it's not really possible.

Dial back your expectations a little. Instead of paper, unless you're prepared to get the pros to do it, get the paint out. You'll be able to get the job done much quicker as well.

[Danny's Dyer Acting]

DDA,

You raise an important conundrum, of course you should show people kindness and consideration,and it's to your credit that you are, but you're not their Mum!
Adults , in good health, have to take responsibility for themselves (and largely would want to).Who's to say they won't prosper in the future?I
Either way, you've got your own life to lead. [Hope I'm not speaking out of turn]. Best Wishes.

You make a good point but I think where I was coming from was a little different. I really love the part of what I do that's all about improving people individually and getting them to better themselves. Much more than thinking about myself and my own ambitions and climbing a shitty career ladder.

To that end, I quit on Tuesday. Will come back the UK in a few weeks and start working with a non profit called Radical Recruit. Focus is on getting people out of shitty situations and into work.

Other than that, need to work out what I'll actually be doing to get paid! Have enough savings for 3/4 months but after that it'll all start getting a little spicy!

[Samba]

tried to do some wallpapering today, first time i have attempted it and failed miserably its an old house with uneven walls and ceilings , now sat with a cuppa fighting t o hold back the tears as i feel a failure and a fool.
my brain says it was a decent attempt and all the practical things, but emotionally i am in pieces again

dad is screaming most of the day and night after being back home from his stroke , so nobody is sleeping that well. he has just had a full blown breakdown because there was a wasp in his room.

First time wallpapering? It takes time to get even half decent at it, you know! I would have been shocked (& a bit disbelieving) if it had gone well, especially first time, so please try to not feel bad about that. No way that you're a failure or a fool, it's just how down you're feeling at the moment.

[pablo jaye]

tried to do some wallpapering today, first time i have attempted it and failed miserably its an old house with uneven walls and ceilings , now sat with a cuppa fighting t o hold back the tears as i feel a failure and a fool.
my brain says it was a decent attempt and all the practical things, but emotionally i am in pieces again

dad is screaming most of the day and night after being back home from his stroke , so nobody is sleeping that well. he has just had a full blown breakdown because there was a wasp in his room.

TD ... wallpapering is difficult to do, however you have got further than many as you have given it a go. More importantly, you successfully realised what the constraints were to it - the uneven walls and ceilings ... and you say it was a decent attempt.

You’ve also shared your thoughts and feelings, which is also a lot more than many people would do.

[Faithless]

I've had some truly terrible times in my life, most of them, business related, like being well and truly ripped off and stitched up by former business partners or associates, whilst they have sailed off into the sunset and lived the life of Old Riley. That would be enough to send most people off into a bout of depression, but not me. I have always thought, get on, put it behind you and do something about it, or just move on. So, here is my question, because I just don't understand it, what makes some people give up and give in and what makes some people, try and get even ? There is a thing called the Fight or fright chromosome, or is that the difference ?

There are many different type of Mental Health issues though Puff. Being a sociopath or lacking in empathy for others are both mental issues that don't lead to depression or giving up. They can however lead to increasing others levels of depression by seemingly coming across as uncaring or unsympathetic.

Peoples upbringing and events in childhood can also lead to different coping mechanisms being formed, deep rooted fears that can be rational or irrational created through traumatic events often lay dormant until someone experiences them later in life. Everyone has different triggers that can lead to a cascade of emotions that can leave people feeling overwhelmed.

Often it's more then one type of issue that leads to depression. Most can cope with an issue at work, an issue at home, an issue with their social life, finances etc in isolation but mix them all together and people can feel trapped and unable to escape their issue and if you can't find a calmness or some sort of release it can just snowball.

[Faithless]

TD I've not read through the whole thread so I don't know if this has been suggested, but Mindfulness is a very simple process that can have rather dramatic effects on improving mental and emotional well being. Could be worth a try.

[mushy]

Faithless, these are great posts, and spot on in my view.
Can I ask if you have had professional training in Mental Health issues at any stage?
It certainty comes across that way.

[Tenbury]

DDA,
Sorry if I misunderstood.sounds like a very worthwhile thing to be moving to, though I'm not so sure this is the ideal moment to return to the UK! I wish you well.