Up the Junction wrote: ↑
Thu Dec 05, 2019 3:17 pm
Following a family conference, and in line with Whitters' guidelines, it looks like it's going to be 'Alfie'. Or Alfred, when he needs to be reprimanded.
I had an English Bull Terrier called Alfie. He was a nightmare. He ran into the Indian family's house next door and demolished half the food that was on their table. The family were petrified and had to bang on the front door for me to get him out as he'd gone into food hoover mode and wasn't taking any notice of anyone. Had the shits for days afterwards.
He was a great dog.
He used to nick underwear and sit, licking the gusset with his eyes rolling round in the back of his head while doing so he was enjoying it so much.
His farts could strip wallpaper.
I used to think he was deaf and took him to the vets several times but all tests came back clear. Apparently he was just ignorant.
He once ate a plastic cup.
He used to terrorise my mum when I went round. He'd charge upstairs and jump around on her bed for ages. Then fall asleep and snore and fart, in-between having very loud dreams about chasing stuff. Nobody could move him off the bed only me.
He got the absolute granny kicked out of him by next door's cat one afternoon.
He stole a half drunk can of lager once and drank the lot. he was drunk as a sack for the rest of the day and I'm sure he had a hangover the next morning. His turds were reminiscent of hot tar the next day.
I miss that dog.