The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
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- vietnammer
- Bucky the beaver
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
The person who invented autocorrect has passed away. May they roast in piss.
(stolen from Cuenca)
(stolen from Cuenca)
- Dover KUMB fan
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I went into the NatWest earlier, & the cashier burst into a rendition of 'Downtown'
I thought 'What a Peculiar clerk'
I thought 'What a Peculiar clerk'
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
My boss called me yesterday and said, "Where the hell are you?" I said, "I'm relaxing in my garden with my mate Pete, I'm already on my 4th can of lager." "I don't ****ing believe you!" He shouted. "Hang on," I said, holding the phone away from me, "Pete, isn't this my 4th can?"
- Sauce!
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I phoned the incontinence clinic emergency helpline today.
"Where are you ringing from?"
“The waist down".
"Where are you ringing from?"
“The waist down".
- uptonparkhurst
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Apparently a typo has been found in the Irish version of the King James Bible (GENESIS 6)
ENGLISH VERSION
Thus did Noah; according to all that God commanded him, so did he
IRISH VERSION
Thus did Noah; according to all that God commanded him, so he did
ENGLISH VERSION
Thus did Noah; according to all that God commanded him, so did he
IRISH VERSION
Thus did Noah; according to all that God commanded him, so he did
- ageing hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Swiss archaeologists have discovered that William Tell and his son used to play in a bowling league but historians have been unable to determine the names of any of the teams.
So we will never get to know for whom the Tells bowled.
So we will never get to know for whom the Tells bowled.
- uptonparkhurst
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
:lol:Hammer.CA wrote:Swiss archaeologists have discovered that William Tell and his son used to play in a bowling league but historians have been unable to determine the names of any of the teams.
So we will never get to know for whom the Tells bowled.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Royal Scott Crystal are commissioning a commemorative statue of Anthony Joshua celebrating his first fight in the USA.
It's very authentic - the statue is made out of the same glass as his chin.
It's very authentic - the statue is made out of the same glass as his chin.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I think the elderly man next door is obsessed with Beatles songs.
Every time I walk past I hear him shouting "Help!"
Every time I walk past I hear him shouting "Help!"
- psychoscoredthelot
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Westcliffspur wrote:My boss called me yesterday and said, "Where the hell are you?" I said, "I'm relaxing in my garden with my mate Pete, I'm already on my 4th can of lager." "I don't ****ing believe you!" He shouted. "Hang on," I said, holding the phone away from me, "Pete, isn't this my 4th can?"
- don't burst my bubble
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Did you make that up ?Westcliffspur wrote:Royal Scott Crystal are commissioning a commemorative statue of Anthony Joshua celebrating his first fight in the USA.
It's very authentic - the statue is made out of the same glass as his chin.
- Dover KUMB fan
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I laughed loudly at that. I’m such a bad personWestcliffspur wrote:I think the elderly man next door is obsessed with Beatles songs.
Every time I walk past I hear him shouting "Help!"
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
An old man and his wife are getting ready for bed one night when all of a sudden, the old lady bursts out of the bathroom, flings open her robe and yells, "Super pussy!" The old man says, "I'll have the soup!
- Sauce!
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
All of Jack Dee’s children are bright, but Ellie is the brightest.
- S-H
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Nicking that one.Sauce! wrote:All of Jack Dee’s children are bright, but Ellie is the brightest.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Did you hear about the two bedbugs that are engaged?
They're getting married in the spring. . .
They're getting married in the spring. . .