The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

[PrawnSandwich]

Mixed bag of news there TOMOS - hope you can navigate through this for all concerned including yourself.

Indy I told the CBT therapist and my private therapist that I had thought about it, made plans and what had stopped me executing them at the time.
I was put on a bit of a watch list and checked up on quite regularly for a while but obviously they made sure I had people in place to watch and support me but had contact numbers etc and every session was started with safe guarding etc.

But good posts from people and I hope that everyone is okay.
Not seen posts from a few people like Geordie Hammer recently so I hope it is because situations are improving.

[Samba]

Is the bile duct connected to the liver ? i really should look .

The bile duct's connected to the, kneebone..

[Tenbury]

So it was you doing my hip repair last summer....

[The Old Man of Storr]

So it was you doing my hip repair last summer....

His bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired too .

[Samba]

I should have heard, 'a cute angina'..

[The Old Man of Storr]

:lol:

[Cuenca 'ammer]

reminds me of the old joke:

I was interested in this girl and wanted to ask her dad if we go out for the evening

dad: of course son, but I have to tell you she has acute angina

me: well that's good - because her tits ain't worth a f**k



apologies for pulling the thread down a little........hoping to put a little mirth into a very serious thread.

[The Old Man of Storr]

Got invited to a neighbour's party tonight - she'd made a huge effort , marquee , a bonfire , lots of lovely food but it wasn't being dished out for ages - apart from our neighbour , Jennie and our son I didn't know anyone , this Dutch lad and his wife came over to sit with me and made small talk but whenever I go to these dos I start feeling edgy , almost angry - I lasted 15 minutes , said I was going to the loo and went home .

I'm getting right miserable in my old age , I just like being at home in front of the telly .

[Samba]

Got invited to a neighbour's party tonight - she'd made a huge effort , marquee , a bonfire , lots of lovely food but it wasn't being dished out for ages - apart from our neighbour , Jennie and our son I didn't know anyone , this Dutch lad and his wife came over to sit with me and made small talk but whenever I go to these dos I start feeling edgy , almost angry - I lasted 15 minutes , said I was going to the loo and went home .
I'm getting right miserable in my old age , I just like being at home in front of the telly .

Admit it TOMoS, you were missing the 'Strictly' launch...

[pablo jaye]

A lad that my daughter knows has just been evicted from his house and is currently camping as he is homeless. He’s been to the local authority but needless to say things take time to get sorted. He’s in North Hampshire and I wondered if anyone had any advice on where he might turn - unfortunately we’re not in a position to help much.

Cheers

[The Old Man of Storr]

Admit it TOMoS, you were missing the 'Strictly' launch...

Well , the funny thing was we'd taken a load of food and drink to the party thinking it was a barbeque and our neighbour put it all in her fridge but when it came down to eating she'd prepared all this vegetarian stuff and it clearly wasn't being served until later on - not only couldn't I be bothered to speak to anyone but by 7.30 pm I was starving , when I got home all there was in the fridge was a joint of beef [ for today ] , some bacon and eggs , yoghurt and a load of salad stuff and vegetables , and a load of frozen salmon in the freezer - I had to drive to Broadford to get some food for my dinner , a 20 mile round trip !! :lol:
By 8.45 pm I had everything cooked with Casualty on the tv -

Life is too short for small talk .

[Tenbury]

A lad that my daughter knows has just been evicted from his house and is currently camping as he is homeless. He’s been to the local authority but needless to say things take time to get sorted. He’s in North Hampshire and I wondered if anyone had any advice on where he might turn - unfortunately we’re not in a position to help much.

Cheers

I 've not been involved with the homeless stuff now for 15 months, and don't know this area well, but a couple of suggestions:
Obviously,supposing he isn't working,he needs to contact the Job Centre and make a claim for UB.
Next, I would find the nearest Food bank,and, if it's Tressel, he stands a good chance of being pointed in helpful directions.There is,also, the CAB, and, not least, the local churches.

Most of all,the guy needs a friend.Overwhelmingly, the homeless I have met have not began, at least,as heavy drinkers,substance abusers etc,etc, their dire circumstances and ESPECIALLY the total lack of someone ,living an ordinary life,to communicate with, just sucks them into the vortex of despair that is homelessness.I

As a single person, the Council probably won't help him, I hope he can get something sorted this side of winter.

[pablo jaye]

Cheers Tenners, that is really appreciated. I’d not thought about the Trussell Trust, and also the advice on CAB and signing on. To be honest, even though we don’t know the fella, this has upset the missus and I more than we thought .... probably because our kids are of a similar age and are taking their next steps and are fortunate enough to have support.

Once again, thank you very much.

[Tenbury]

You know, I had to give up the feeding station stuff because of all my mobility crap, but if I'm really ,really honest , sound people though a lot of the clients were, the whole thing brought me down too.If I ever get well again, I will go back to it, but the break has been welcome. There's only so much desperation you can take, that's why I suggest the individual the befriending thing, though, of course, those in need aren't necessarily people you're going to like!
Random thoughts:
I don't know North Hampshire, most cities have a YMCA ( They are extremely variable, the Bristol one was always pretty much OK, the one at Worcester is a disgrace, both insecure and filthy).

A young single person is actually pretty vulnerable, though not always classed as such by the authorities, any factor in the guy's health or make up, acknowledged by a GP ( something else he needs) that can be construed to make him 'officially ' vulnerable would start shifting bums in the local council.

If he's prepared to move, some work comes with accomodation....

Anyhow, don't worry too much about your own kids, as I said somewhere,if you have people you love, these are the times to keep them close.

[ToiletDuck]

feeling pretty low today, not sure why , wanted to go out last night but nobody to go out with so must have brooed, got worse as the day has gone on

[southbrishammer]

How do I manage the growing realisation that my life has probably changed permanently for the worse?

A while back I did a Bad Thing. I did so knowing that it was bad, but did it anyway (I think this is a fairly common human trait), but I assumed that if the drastically under-resourced police found out they wouldn't be concerned, because in my mind what I did was at the lower end of the scale and they would be too busy trying to catch the real bad guys.

I was wrong. I received a suspended prison sentence and unpaid work, and subsequently after the local media published a sensationalised account of the court case, I lost my job. I am now struggling to find work even though I have lots of experience and transferable skills, as I have to declare my conviction and it puts employers off.

Fortunately my wife and family are reasonably supportive and haven't chucked me out the house or stopped speaking to me, although my relationships with them will be forever tainted. I have a relentlessly positive attitude about life, always thinking that things will be ok, but I thought that about the police and my job, and was completely wrong in both cases, so although I still think I will get a job and some type of normality will return, I may well be wrong again.

Going through the court system was one of the worst experiences of my life, and at this stage it seems like the only thing it has achieved, either for me or society, is to attach a stigma to me. I just want to get on with my life, and the probation service is supposed to be there to help me rehabilitate myself, but having a conviction just puts up barriers and allows others to be judgemental.

[Samba]

feeling pretty low today, not sure why , wanted to go out last night but nobody to go out with so must have brooed, got worse as the day has gone on

Feel for you, mate. Might be the changing season. I've always felt unsettled by it. Have you ever had any kind of talking therapy?
A while ago someone talked about men's groups that have been set up for blokes to get together to talk about their mental health (& other topics).
Is that something that you could explore?

[Samba]

How do I manage the growing realisation that my life has probably changed permanently for the worse?
Going through the court system was one of the worst experiences of my life, and at this stage it seems like the only thing it has achieved, either for me or society, is to attach a stigma to me. I just want to get on with my life, and the probation service is supposed to be there to help me rehabilitate myself, but having a conviction just puts up barriers and allows others to be judgemental.

I feel for you as well, sbh.
The system is set up to be very 'black & white'. If you've done 'this', then that means 'that'. Not much room for making up for having made a bad decision.
There are employers out there prepared to give some people a chance. Trouble is, finding them..but don't ever think that they don't exist, because they do.

[kitthehammer]

As much as I'm fully in approval of this thread (I suggested on the kumb board years ago that the clubs should do more, as well as about other men's issues, being as they have a mass and majority male audience) and went through cognitive behavioural therapy only last year as I went through depression. What I do dislike is the stereotyped notion that men suffer from depression or other mental health issues as a matter of course rather than there being triggering factors which we are just magically immune from on the basis that we are born with a pair of testicles.

What I mean by that is, in as much as mental health, personality disorders, depression etc are illnesses, it is the rest of society, not men themselves, who treat men as though they have no reason to suffer it based on their gender. The notion that we are "privileged" or at the other end should "man up" are not pressures we place upon ourselves, they are placed upon us and we are not encouraged to talk, not by other men, but the rest of society, media and other movements.

Not only that but we haven't all suddenly obtained depression and poor mental health without there being other triggers in our lives but as a society we refuse to join the dots. Men face basic problems in life in some ways far more than anyone else. That is why we have the worst suicide rates, homelessness, suffering child contact denial, suffering abuse etc. But you watch in parliament and the bulk of our media and the only thing mentioned is men's mental health and subsequent suicide as though there was no factors involved which lead to it. Otherwise it is almost total negativity towards men. I know depression is a mental illness but outside factors put people at risk.

With me last year, I split up with a partner and was struggling to find work for 8 months, was in debt and under threat of being made homeless. Those factors brought about my depression and stress. Underlying in all of that is being separated from my son years previously. We don't just need to change men, we need to change the rest of society but particularly media and parliament to deal with men's issues.

But can I just add to that, go and seek help. Treat like you've got flu or a bad cut. There is no stigma.

[The Old Man of Storr]

How do I manage the growing realisation that my life has probably changed permanently for the worse?

A while back I did a Bad Thing. I did so knowing that it was bad, but did it anyway (I think this is a fairly common human trait), but I assumed that if the drastically under-resourced police found out they wouldn't be concerned, because in my mind what I did was at the lower end of the scale and they would be too busy trying to catch the real bad guys.



Fortunately my wife and family are reasonably supportive and haven't chucked me out the house or stopped speaking to me, although my relationships with them will be forever tainted. I have a relentlessly positive attitude about life, always thinking that things will be ok, but I thought that about the police and my job, and was completely wrong in both cases, so although I still think I will get a job .

Going through the court system was one of the worst experiences of my life, and at this stage it seems like the only thing it has achieved, either for me or society, is to attach a stigma to me. I just want to get on with my life, and the probation service is supposed to be there to help me rehabilitate myself, but having a conviction just puts up barriers and allows others to be judgemental.

Each and every one of have broken the law at one time or another and ' Bad Thing ' is always relative - I'm truly sorry this happened to you , SouthBrish .

At some point or other quite a few of our lives are changed permanently , often for the worse - mine did , lots on here have been affected in a negative way of late , some have had Life Threatening Illnesses foisted upon them - your saving grace currently is your Wife and Family - eventually you come to realise who your friends are but if you still have the love and trust of your family then that's all you need .

A few years back I remember one of the Postmen on the mainland getting fired for pilfering / stealing - now everyone would have known him , I knew him and I lived over 20 miles away - a few years past and we went out for dinner at a hotel quite near the town where the man lived and I saw him preparing food in the kitchen , he had stayed in the area , faced the music and found other employment .

I worked with a man who had been in jail due to GBH , he was a lovely bloke and I befriended him .

These are just two examples off the top of my head .

Are you in a position to move to another part of the country to make a new start , would you consider taking any old job ?

As I said , we've all done silly things in our past and Bad Things are all relative - Keep your Family close and good luck .