The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
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- ageing hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I was in work one day doing a crossword, a smart ass kept looking over my shoulder and shouting out the answers.
I was rightly pissed off so the next day I was sitting there doing the same thing and when he was passing by I told him I was just stuck for one word.
He asked me what was the cryptic clue.
I told him it was a postman's delivery route.
He then asked "how many letters."
I smiled and said " Thousands "
I was rightly pissed off so the next day I was sitting there doing the same thing and when he was passing by I told him I was just stuck for one word.
He asked me what was the cryptic clue.
I told him it was a postman's delivery route.
He then asked "how many letters."
I smiled and said " Thousands "
- Samba
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
"My girlfriend's just been told that she's got to go to somewhere in the northwest extremity of the United States West Coast, just across the Bering Strait from Asia."
"Does she know where, exactly?"
"I don't know, Alaska".
I'll get me coat
"Does she know where, exactly?"
"I don't know, Alaska".
I'll get me coat
- Sauce!
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Once I was stuck on a crossword clue for two weeks.
The answer was "fortnight"
The answer was "fortnight"
- -DL-
- Bag Man
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Absolutely shocked. Clearing out my 12 year old's bedroom and found a load of BDSM gear and porn under his bed. The wife asked me how we're going to deal with it.
I had to say to her that I'm not sure spanking him would be the best idea...
I had to say to her that I'm not sure spanking him would be the best idea...
- Sauce!
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
A recent report said that one in four women is either on antidepressant or antipsychotic medication.
That is a disgraceful statistic. Three quarters of the female population are not getting the treatment they so desperately need.
That is a disgraceful statistic. Three quarters of the female population are not getting the treatment they so desperately need.
- ageing hammer
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- Barking Boy
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- Greatest Cockney Rip Off
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I was in a Scottish pub last week, also doing a crossword. I got stuck on “stranded on a desert island”. Eight letters. I had the first two letters “MA”. When a local Scotsman said “marooned” six people asked for a pint of lager.
I was in a taxi today and the driver said,
"I love my job. I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do."
Then I said, "Turn left here!"
I was in a taxi today and the driver said,
"I love my job. I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do."
Then I said, "Turn left here!"
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- Sauce!
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
My wife said that if I don't stop reading KUMB on the computer she was going to slam my head into the keyba587967,0953jgy6rw[r4kl5r4gtf5df4r
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I always thought the punchline was more something along the lines of “no, you were right the first time”The Old Man of Storr wrote: ↑Tue Sep 17, 2019 12:44 pm Scotsman walks into the same Bakery five minutes later ...
' Is that an Apple Pie or a Meringue ? '
' It's an Apple Pie ' .
- Greatest Cockney Rip Off
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
The patron saint of copying people in on an email is ....
St. Francis of a CC
St. Francis of a CC
- Sauce!
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
The patron saint of childrens’ playground equipment is St Francis of a see-saw.
- pablo jaye
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
The patron saint of looking out to the ocean is St Francis of I See Sea
Online
- Tenbury
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
We have a new patron saint of this thread:
St.Francis of Asinine.
St.Francis of Asinine.
- Dover KUMB fan
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I ate 50 Kinder eggs last night.
Who says I'm not full of surprises?
Who says I'm not full of surprises?
- Sauce!
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
The patron saint of drunken Scotsmen is St Francis of Ahseeyoujimmy.
- Suffolk Iron
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
All those waiting for the yodelling class to start, Please form
an orderly orderly orderly queue!
an orderly orderly orderly queue!
- Monkeybubbles
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Suffolk Iron wrote: ↑Sun Sep 29, 2019 12:44 pm All those waiting for the yodelling class to start, Please form
an orderly orderly orderly queue!
April 18th 2017:
I hate my life.chelmsfordhammer91 wrote: ↑Tue Apr 18, 2017 10:44 pm If you're here for the yodelling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.
- chelmsfordhammer91
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