The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
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- Sauce!
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
TV was dreadful this evening, so I decided to go to the pub.
"Put your coat on" I said to my wife.
"Are you taking me out? " she replied eagerly.
"No, I'm turning the heating off"
"Put your coat on" I said to my wife.
"Are you taking me out? " she replied eagerly.
"No, I'm turning the heating off"
- Greatest Cockney Rip Off
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?
Don't know, don't care.
Don't know, don't care.
- Greatest Cockney Rip Off
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
The Magnificent Seven were invited to appear in a lucrative series of adverts for aftershave,filmed in Liverpool, but only six did.
Yul never wore cologne...
Yul never wore cologne...
- Dover KUMB fan
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
You silly b..... :lol:Greatest Cockney Rip Off wrote: ↑Tue Oct 08, 2019 10:28 pm The Magnificent Seven were invited to appear in a lucrative series of adverts for aftershave,filmed in Liverpool, but only six did.
Yul never wore cologne...
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on the sides of their ships?
So that when they all come back to port, they can Scandinavian.
So that when they all come back to port, they can Scandinavian.
- Sauce!
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I spotted an albino dalmation yesterday.
It was the least I could do.
It was the least I could do.
- Happyhammer52
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey you're in here a lot. Do you think you might be an alcoholic?"
The horse replies "I don't think I am." And poof. Disappears from existence.
Now that joke is a reference to the philosopher Descartes and his famous line "I think, therefore I am."
I could have explained that first, but that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.
The horse replies "I don't think I am." And poof. Disappears from existence.
Now that joke is a reference to the philosopher Descartes and his famous line "I think, therefore I am."
I could have explained that first, but that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.
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- Sauce!
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
“My name is Aksenty Ivanovich Poprishchin. I am a clerk in a small company. I do not like my job”.
Diary of a Madman, Nicolai Gogol.
“Woop! Woop! Pop, bang, willy, fizz! I’m a teapot! I’m a teapot!”
Diary of a Madman, Broadmoor.
Diary of a Madman, Nicolai Gogol.
“Woop! Woop! Pop, bang, willy, fizz! I’m a teapot! I’m a teapot!”
Diary of a Madman, Broadmoor.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Monkeybubbles must be off sick today.Happyhammer52 wrote: ↑Thu Oct 10, 2019 11:41 am A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey you're in here a lot. Do you think you might be an alcoholic?"
The horse replies "I don't think I am." And poof. Disappears from existence.
Now that joke is a reference to the philosopher Descartes and his famous line "I think, therefore I am."
I could have explained that first, but that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I'm always happy for someone to share the load. ****ing delighted, in fact.
- Clacton-ammer
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- claretandblue82
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Why do riot police like to get to work early?
So they can beat the crowds.
So they can beat the crowds.
Last edited by claretandblue82 on Fri Oct 18, 2019 12:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- Sauce!
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I got the words “Yakuza” and “Jacuzzi” confused.
Now I’m in hot water with the Japanese Mafia.
Now I’m in hot water with the Japanese Mafia.
- OFT
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Looks round for monkeybubbles…… coast clear..
I was going to turn vegan but realised it would be a big missedsteak
I was going to turn vegan but realised it would be a big missedsteak