Little things in life that make you smile

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jastons
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Post by jastons »

Pornhub sued by deaf man who 'can't follow storylines' without subtitles.

https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/weir ... o-21300557

He claims he watched titles including 'Hot Step Aunt Babysits Disobedient Nephew' and 'Sexy Cop Gets Witness to Talk' and was left confused.
:lol:
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Post by ageing hammer »

^^^^^^^^^^^

He cocked a deaf 'un
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Post by prophet:marginal »

My new Poundland morning tea mug.

Must hold 4-500ml!

:thup:
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Post by -DL- »

Went to my computer chair yesterday and the cat was washing himself whilst sitting on it. Spoke to him (as you do), and said to him "Come on mate, off you get" and he rolled over on his back, shut his eyes and played dead totally ignoring me :lol:
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Post by prophet:marginal »

I thought you were going to end that with 'and it then rolled off the seat altogether'.

Our cat regularly does that.

It also does this thing to attract our attention when outside at the backdoor, only to then walk through the house and scratch the front mat, to go out the front!

We have a driveway, running up the side of the house...
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Post by -DL- »

prophet:marginal wrote: Sat Jan 18, 2020 8:34 pm I thought you were going to end that with 'and it then rolled off the seat altogether'.
No, he generally does that when he's being pathetic and cute when you try and get him off.
prophet:marginal wrote: Sat Jan 18, 2020 8:34 pmOur cat regularly does that.

It also does this thing to attract our attention when outside at the backdoor, only to then walk through the house and scratch the front mat, to go out the front!

We have a driveway, running up the side of the house...
Our two have a habit of meowing and scratching at the door/window wanting to come in because they need a **** and don't want to get a cold arse. Lost count of the amount of times they come in from the cold and as soon as their in go straight to their littler tray...
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Post by bigcarpchaser »

When I was about 14, all the family were sitting around the telly one night when there was a knock at the front door. Got up to answer it and there was nobody there.
15 minutes later, there was another one, again, nobody there. I waited by the front door to catch the kids that were probably playing knock down ginger so when the door knocked again I was on it like a flash...nobody there...except the cat.
We had a small window next to the door at the same level as the vertical type letterbox/knocker and the bugger was sitting on the window cill, flipping the knocker to be let in!!!
After about 2 months of this, my dad took the knocker off lol. Cracked me up as she had a car flap and an alley down the side of the house so she could have easily walked round the back but had sussed that it was easier to knock on the door and come round the front.
Bloody clever that cat was, and I still smile about it now.
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Post by prophet:marginal »

Love that story. :thup:
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Post by OFT »

Discovering a new thing that irritates me.


Loving the cat stories by the way :thup:

one of ours is virtually blind, it walks around the house bumping into thigs but somehow can still get on the garden fence and walk along it. :?
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Post by prophet:marginal »

-DL- wrote: Sat Jan 18, 2020 8:45 pm
Our two have a habit of meowing and scratching at the door/window wanting to come in because they need a **** and don't want to get a cold arse. Lost count of the amount of times they come in from the cold and as soon as their in go straight to their littler tray...
I'm going to sound like a proper weirdo posting this, but here goes.

If our cat even gets an inkling that anyone is watching do what you've just described, he stops immediately and runs off. He doesn't mind doing the hot toes shuffle and having a public spray up, but that's a territorial thing, too, I suppose.

We have a token litter tray, for the winter, when he lucks out and doesn't have to go on night-time maneuvers, but the idea of him using a litter tray in front of an audience? No chance.

I love wildlife, of all stripes, regularly feeding fox, squirrel and all the birds from the back door, but have grown up with cats. They are totally mad, but I love them. Collecting the first cat the family had when I was around is actually my first memory in life, his little paw coming through the box and the claw getting caught in my t-shirt on the backseat of a Hillman Imp.
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Post by -DL- »

prophet:marginal wrote: Sun Jan 19, 2020 7:50 pm I'm going to sound like a proper weirdo posting this, but here goes.

If our cat even gets an inkling that anyone is watching do what you've just described, he stops immediately and runs off. He doesn't mind doing the hot toes shuffle and having a public spray up, but that's a territorial thing, too, I suppose.

We have a token litter tray, for the winter, when he lucks out and doesn't have to go on night-time maneuvers, but the idea of him using a litter tray in front of an audience? No chance.

I love wildlife, of all stripes, regularly feeding fox, squirrel and all the birds from the back door, but have grown up with cats. They are totally mad, but I love them. Collecting the first cat the family had when I was around is actually my first memory in life, his little paw coming through the box and the claw getting caught in my t-shirt on the backseat of a Hillman Imp.
Funny you should say that, cos our tray had a flappy door and lid on it, and if the lid isnt on they wont go anywhere near it
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Post by prophet:marginal »

Cats have class. What must they think of dogs?
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Post by Greatest Cockney Rip Off »

Cats are strange ones indeed. We've got three.

When a cat sticks it's aris in your face, it's the equivalent of giving you a hug. It will only do this to people that they trust implicitly or have strong affection for.

When a cat lays on it's back in front of you, that implies that it trusts you completely and is completely at ease, exposing it's weakest body part to you.

When a cat hides in a very combined space, it's usually ill or feeling vulnerable.

When a cat kneeds your lap with it's paws when trying to settle, it does this as a way of getting comfortable and also a way of feeling at ease as it would do this as a kitten when suckling from it's mother.

When a cats ears go right back, run, it's in an aggressive mood.

When a cat jumps on you with it's claws extended, it's being a complete **** and deserves a boot up the aris
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Post by prophet:marginal »

You freak out a cat, if you look at it all wide-eyed. That to them is anger.

The opposite applies; if the cat goes what we call 'straight eye' that means it is in its proper comfort zone.

As I understand it, cats are happiest if they've got their eyes closed and they 'knead the dough' with their paws. It's all about stimulating their mother's milk - and the memory of that - when they were young and vulnerable and they couldn't see because their eyes were still shut.

A tail gets wagged, if the cat is unhappy - precisely the opposite of the faithful hound.
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Post by -DL- »

One of mine is a weirdo, as he loves his tummy rubbed and doesn't bite your hand and turn in to thumper with his back legs- and the daft bugher rolls over on his back, legs spread like a slag and wags his tail purring his little head off.

When I stop he moves and starts nudging my hand until I stroke him again, then assumes his slag position again 🤷‍♂️
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Post by -DL- »

This is the flipping idiot playing dead...

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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Post by Samba »

prophet:marginal wrote: Sun Jan 19, 2020 8:03 pm Cats have class. What must they think of dogs?
Daft & beneath them..
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Post by Samba »

Greatest Cockney Rip Off wrote: Sun Jan 19, 2020 8:08 pm When a cat sticks it's aris in your face, it's the equivalent of giving you a hug. It will only do this to people that they trust implicitly or have strong affection for.
I suffer from this a lot.
I don't care for it..
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Post by Samba »

-DL- wrote: Sun Jan 19, 2020 8:23 pm One of mine is a weirdo, as he loves his tummy rubbed and doesn't bite your hand and turn in to thumper with his back legs- and the daft bugher rolls over on his back, legs spread like a slag and wags his tail purring his little head off.

When I stop he moves and starts nudging my hand until I stroke him again, then assumes his slag position again 🤷‍♂️
The old, 'porn star' position..they honestly have no shame.
Apart from proph's one, who, when it comes to toileting, clearly has too much shame.

Years ago, my sister had a litter tray for her cat. The trouble was, the stupid tit (the cat) would stand in the litter tray but poo, over the side of it, on to the floor. Clearly didn't want to poo where it was standing. This wasn't completely terrible unless it was diarrhoea time..
Later on when the cat was old, she had a tray like DL's one, with a roof on it to give a little privacy. Again, there was trouble. When she wanted to pee, as soon as her front paws went through the 'door' & felt the litter, she'd stop dead & then start peeing, again, outside of the loo.
Except when she needed a poo. Then she was happy to go right inside, turn around & do her poo on the litter. I noticed that she would finish, step forward a little, looking behind to see what poo she had done & then leave the vicinity quickly with a look of disgust on her face, as if someone else had been responsible for it.
Lovely cat though. Broke mine & my sister's heart when she died.
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Re: Little things in life that make you smile

Post by Mega Ron »

-DL- wrote: Sun Jan 19, 2020 8:25 pm This is the flipping idiot playing dead...

Quality twatter name mate
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