The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

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WHU Independent
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by WHU Independent »

Just want to say :

DL - keep fighting them! Pals is a viable option but a direct complaint may be your next nuclear option.

Whitey - well done in making the tough descison you made. You've sounded unhappy about your situation for a while and now you have a clear plan, I hope it makes your life easier.

JIm: get well soon.

Samba - you've faced the day I dread - and it's coming very soon. You handled it brilliantly and I will take strength from your actions.

Best wishes to everyone else. Keep on talking.

AS for me: I had one bad day last week, was listless and aimless, but I found I was doing things that were at the bottom of my "Things to be done" list. i.e washing door frames down, cleaning light switches, getting really obsessed with cleaning little marks off paintwork. As I was doing this I wasn't really thinking about stuff, I was in "Neutral" and just got up and did it. In a strange way this mindless work helped me out! I felt better afterwards.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Samba »

WHU Independent wrote: Tue Aug 09, 2022 11:08 pmSamba - you've faced the day I dread - and it's coming very soon. You handled it brilliantly and I will take strength from your actions.
Don't speak too soon, ain't had the funeral yet..
Thank you, Indy. I feel like saying 'don't waste your time dreading it' but I won't because it's probably normal to dread it & if someone had ever told me to not dread it, it wouldn't have really helped anyway..
All I would say from my own experience is that the fear of something happening has almost always, if not always, been worse than the eventual reality. Which has ended up being a good thing, apart from putting myself through years of hell beforehand..
Everyone's different of course. Some people are able to deal with bereavement better than others. It might also depend on where you are in life; how old you are, how old they were, what sort of relationship you had with each other. Some bereavements are definitely easier or harder than others.
I've been able to say that 'mum's gone home'; to be reunited with my dad & her beloved mum & dad & sister. I mean, I don't know if that's what's happened but I can choose to think or believe it, if I want to.

Get your dad's dna tested on Ancestry, while you can!

A few years ago, I came across this poem.

Finding a Box of Family Letters
BY DANA GIOIA

The dead say little in their letters
they haven't said before.
We find no secrets, and yet
how different every sentence sounds
heard across the years.

My father breaks my heart
simply by being so young and handsome.
He's half my age, with jet-black hair.
Look at him in his navy uniform
grinning beside his dive-bomber.

Come back, Dad! I want to shout.
He says he misses all of us
(though I haven't yet been born).
He writes from places I never knew he saw,
and everyone he mentions now is dead.

There is a large, long photograph
curled like a diploma—a banquet sixty years ago.
My parents sit uncomfortably
among tables of dark-suited strangers.
The mildewed paper reeks of regret.

I wonder what song the band was playing,
just out of frame, as the photographer
arranged your smiles. A waltz? A foxtrot?
Get out there on the floor and dance!
You don't have forever.

What does it cost to send a postcard
to the underworld? I'll buy
a penny stamp from World War II
and mail it downtown at the old post office
just as the courthouse clock strikes twelve.

Surely the ghost of some postal worker
still makes his nightly rounds, his routine
too tedious for him to notice when it ended.
He works so slowly he moves back in time
carrying our dead letters to their lost addresses.

It's silly to get sentimental.
The dead have moved on. So should we.
But isn't it equally simple-minded to miss
the special expertise of the departed
in clarifying our long-term plans?

They never let us forget that the line
between them and us is only temporary.
Get out there and dance! the letters shout
adding, Love always. Can't wait to get home!
And soon we will be. See you there.


Dana Gioia, "Finding a Box of Family Letters" from 99 Poems. Copyright © 2016 by Dana Gioia.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by btajim - mcfc »

Thanks Indie.

I’m about to book a cab to hospital now for my CT scan. The crippling stomach pains have disappeared now I’m not banging down the painkillers and have been able to pass solids twice today.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Tenbury »

Whitey, best wishes
Samba, :muscle:
Jim, get well soon.

Everyone else... Non Carborundum Illigitemi...

Seems to me we're at risk, as a country, of going into a period of mass depression thanks to the collective worry over the cost of living this winter. It's even beginning to get to me (I live on a state pension) which takes some doing as my 'downside' has been carefully ringfenced (at least as strongly as the Korean DMZ) for some years. I don't have a solution, but I honestly think that the MH of the population needs far more consideration than it's getting at present.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by btajim - mcfc »

The knock on effect worries me. Saturday breakfast in the cafe or a few pints down the pub. People won’t be able to afford to go out and these businesses will have to put their prices up too in order to survive. My social life revolves around these sorts of things. Take that away from me and I’ve nothing to look forwards to.

Wednesday PM onwards has been an absolute disaster. I’ve done nothing but vomit and pass very loose stools. I was lucky to have ten minutes in bed without needing to get up again. It was agony. It’s calmed down a little now and I’m going to attempt to eat a ready meal soon to try and get something inside me.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by -DL- »

Well after much email typing to management and PALS and others - I got a ping from my hospital app this afternoon, with an appointment - with the following in big letters as the header...
Robot-assisted LAPAROSCOPIC REPAIR OF INCISIONAL HERNIA USING SYNTHETIC MESH - on Tuesday list at with Mr Anthony Ta with Alexander
Expected on Tuesday 20 September 2022
If this one cancels, I'll go mad....
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by mushy »

DL,
I meant to ring you, have you tried contacting your specialist guy? The one from your op(I think you said you had his number).
I only ask because I think you said that the repair was to be done by the cancer mob and hence the reason it got cancelled. Surely this should be a job for the surgical team?
Maybe your specialist can pull a few strings?
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by mushy »

btajim - mcfc wrote: Thu Aug 11, 2022 5:13 pm
Wednesday PM onwards has been an absolute disaster. I’ve done nothing but vomit and pass very loose stools. I was lucky to have ten minutes in bed without needing to get up again. It was agony. It’s calmed down a little now and I’m going to attempt to eat a ready meal soon to try and get something inside me.
With all due respect a ready made meal sounds like the last thing you should be attempting.
Your stomach needs some rest and time to get back to normality.
Personally I would be avoiding food like the plague right now, then after a few days little and often.
What were your results from the scan?
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by btajim - mcfc »

Thankfully I’ve not yet eaten so it sounds like I should be giving that one a miss. I actually have no appetite but just felt it right to force something down. I’ve not needed the toilet in hours and I haven’t been sick today.

It’s regressed just slightly but no cause for concern. I’m back in Wednesday next week for a consultation.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by BabyClaret »

Perhaps some dry toast/crackers? Something super plain.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by -DL- »

mushy wrote: Thu Aug 11, 2022 6:42 pm DL,
I meant to ring you, have you tried contacting your specialist guy? The one from your op(I think you said you had his number).
I only ask because I think you said that the repair was to be done by the cancer mob and hence the reason it got cancelled. Surely this should be a job for the surgical team?
Maybe your specialist can pull a few strings?
It's being done by the Urology team, and the Colo-rectal team - and as above, it's been rescheduled for 20th of September. I feel for the poor sod that's been kicked off of that list though, but I'm guessing they must still be prioritising - but it's being done at Westmoreland Street, as my wait would be even longer if it was being done at Euston Road.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by btajim - mcfc »

BabyClaret wrote: Thu Aug 11, 2022 7:47 pm Perhaps some dry toast/crackers? Something super plain.
I like toast.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Tenbury »

Jim,
I've got Crohns, and I can only advise you that everything opiode based is totally pants. Buy some fresh fruit and veg, (figs if you can find some) will be your future.
Been there, mate, all can be well, just watch your diet.
Best Wishes.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by hammer etc »

It is not uncommon to have diarrhea as a sign of constipation.

Porridge may also an option. I make mine in the microwave 2 parts milk to 1 part oats. Fist cook it on high for 2 1/2 minutes then on 30% or defrost for 10 minutes. You can stop half way and mix it up. This way does not redcoat the inside of your microwave.

Hope all you guys under the weather are feeling better soon.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by btajim - mcfc »

Tenbury wrote: Thu Aug 11, 2022 9:33 pm Jim,
I've got Crohns, and I can only advise you that everything opiode based is totally pants. Buy some fresh fruit and veg, (figs if you can find some) will be your future.
Been there, mate, all can be well, just watch your diet.
Best Wishes.
Thank you. Sorry to hear about your illness.

I fully admit I hate healthy food so this doesn’t sound too appetising. They’re too expensive but I can eat Subway quite easily. I guess I’m going to have to bite the bullet and do what’s right for my health.

Gutted but c’est la vie.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by White Goodman »

Thank you chaps, you're a good bunch :thup:
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by rigoberts song »

It probably sounds a Bit weak but good luck to all my friends on here who have my back and all of you with your various health challenges.
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Post by btajim - mcfc »

After Wednesday’s relapse, I’m about 90% ok now and going back to work tomorrow for a full week. I think whatever doesn’t knock you down makes you stronger and I’ve been inclined to make lifestyle changes.

I don’t see how it can do me any harm!
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Cockneyboy311 »

Anyone else relieved that its going to start to cool down a bit now? (according to my weather app anyway)

Being constantly hot with little relief has made me quite irritable. Throw in less than usual sleep and it's a recipe for me to lose my **** quicker than I normally would.

I wont say roll on the winter, but early 20's is just right for me. This 30 degree stuff is just too much.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Joyeux Marteau »

I know what you mean CB.

I definitely seem more irritable in hot weather as well. Can’t wait for rain and some cooler weather.

I’ve barely been able to sleep in this weather which doesn’t help either.
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