A loved one suffering from terminal cancer, dying and sorting out affairs...

A Forum in which to remember those KUMB members and other West Ham United family who have sadly left us.

Moderators: Rio, bristolhammerfc, the pink palermo, chalks, Gnome

Misko
Posts: 1420
Joined: Fri Mar 18, 2022 3:50 pm
Location: Beaujolais
Has liked: 303 likes
Total likes: 1059 likes

Re: A loved one suffering from terminal cancer, dying and sorting out affairs...

Post by Misko »

Your posts are so moving, genuinely loving and profund, ILL... Words seem always useless in such situations, but as many people here, I'm thinking of you, and I have been really impressed by the love and devotion and courage you showed.
Last edited by Misko on Tue Dec 27, 2022 5:58 pm, edited 2 times in total.
User avatar
Denbighammer
Posts: 12690
Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2007 6:53 pm
Location: Dodging, Dipping, Diving, Ducking and Dodging.
Has liked: 564 likes
Total likes: 383 likes

Re: A loved one suffering from terminal cancer, dying and sorting out affairs...

Post by Denbighammer »

I don't know what to say. ILL your posts are so moving. My thoughts are with you and your family. May your mother Rest in Peace. All the best.
User avatar
hammer etc
Posts: 2689
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 5:37 pm
Has liked: 4 likes
Total likes: 101 likes

Re: A loved one suffering from terminal cancer, dying and sorting out affairs...

Post by hammer etc »

My mum died 60 years ago next November. I still think of her from time to time, wander what could have happened if she had lived. I have a few pictures and a few other things of hers. When I was younger people said "you look just like your mum." At the moment it is tough ILL and in a sense that's a positive because it means you loved her. And it will for a while. You will never forget you mother and eventually you will be happy to sit and think about the good times you shared of which I am sure there are many. Hopefully you have family around to help you through the days/months ahead. Be strong as you can but also it's good to let your emotions go as well.

May your mother RIP.
LittleChris
Posts: 328
Joined: Sat Jun 02, 2012 12:18 am
Has liked: 100 likes
Total likes: 11 likes

Re: A loved one suffering from terminal cancer, dying and sorting out affairs...

Post by LittleChris »

Really sorry to hear of your loss ILL. Stay strong.
User avatar
iLoveLasagne
Posts: 3735
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2009 10:17 am
Has liked: 196 likes
Total likes: 222 likes

Re: A loved one suffering from terminal cancer, dying and sorting out affairs...

Post by iLoveLasagne »

Thanks everyone. Each and every post means a lot, I really do mean it guys
User avatar
Samba
Posts: 21760
Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2017 3:36 pm
Location: David Sullivan's least favourite fluffer.
Has liked: 2772 likes
Total likes: 960 likes

Re: A loved one suffering from terminal cancer, dying and sorting out affairs...

Post by Samba »

iLoveLasagne wrote: Tue Dec 27, 2022 5:56 pm Thanks everyone. Each and every post means a lot, I really do mean it guys
You remain in my (& I bet everyone else's) thoughts, iLL.
Your post had me blubbing btw, so thanks for that.. :cried:
RIP your lovely mum.
User avatar
iLoveLasagne
Posts: 3735
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2009 10:17 am
Has liked: 196 likes
Total likes: 222 likes

Re: A loved one suffering from terminal cancer, dying and sorting out affairs...

Post by iLoveLasagne »

I watched It's a Wonderful Life for the first time today. I think my mum is definitely a George Bailey. But she never needed the intervention of an angel to save her. She earned her angel wings herself through her time on earth. As it was Christmas, she urged me to bring the last box of Ferrero Rocher at home to the hospital nurses when I could, as she saw they were all working so hard, especially on Christmas Eve, just as she did the last time when they operated on her cancer.

They're all normal people who are all different, so some are nicer than others. But some were really amazing, maintaining incredible compassion through difficult and exhausting conditions.
Online
User avatar
btajim - mcfc
There when they were sh*t
Posts: 9504
Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2007 11:40 am
Location: Cheshire
Has liked: 65 likes
Total likes: 396 likes
Contact:

Re: A loved one suffering from terminal cancer, dying and sorting out affairs...

Post by btajim - mcfc »

When I had my ileostomy earlier this year, I had nurses give me very special care for the first few days when I could do nothing but lie in bed. My stoma burst or blood started coming out of somewhere… Nothing to them. Sorted in two minutes. God bless our NHS.
User avatar
iLoveLasagne
Posts: 3735
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2009 10:17 am
Has liked: 196 likes
Total likes: 222 likes

Re: A loved one suffering from terminal cancer, dying and sorting out affairs...

Post by iLoveLasagne »

My mum wasn't a football fan really. Although she did watch whenever England played in tournaments. She knew the names of all the players and if she didn't she would have done so after one game. She watched the World Cup even though I didn't as I chose to boycott it. I could often hear her shout out 'Kane!' This season I haven't watched much of our matches. One of the last matches we did watch together though was our loss to Frankfurt. She even watched the final by herself just to see what could have been.

Her customers would always talk about West Ham to her as she told them all that I was a supporter. Some Daggers fans even talk to her about their results in order to seek some consolation even though she ended up just nodding looking bemused most of the time. Sometimes without prompting she would say things like 'West Ham are so good!' as she learned of the scores off the telly or saw their league position. But most of the time she would ask me 'are they getting relegated?'

I guess West Ham would have been an appropriate club for her. Fortunes always hiding and that. But she would always be blowing her bubbles in life.

Mods, I wonder if this thread could be moved to the Memorial section for me please? Thank you in advance.
User avatar
ageing hammer
Posts: 24944
Joined: Thu Jan 03, 2008 9:04 am
Location: Cockney Hammer's stunt double
Has liked: 431 likes
Total likes: 1256 likes

Re: A loved one suffering from terminal cancer, dying and sorting out affairs...

Post by ageing hammer »

Sorry for your Loss ILL but your mum is now out of pain, your posts were so sad and heart wrenching. God bless you mate.
User avatar
Eggs'n'nuts
Posts: 3778
Joined: Mon Oct 14, 2013 5:10 pm
Location: Swimming in a glass half full.
Has liked: 126 likes
Total likes: 263 likes

Re: A loved one suffering from terminal cancer, dying and sorting out affairs...

Post by Eggs'n'nuts »

I can only echo what others have said ILL.

I lost my Dad twelve years ago in November and sometimes it still feels like yesterday. We also lost The Lovely Ms. Eggs's Mum in October and it's still raw, especially as this next 12 months will be the first anniversary of everything.

She may be gone in body, but all the time you and your sister are thinking of her, her spirit will still be alive.

My sincere condolences to you and your family mate. X
mushy
Posts: 17814
Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2007 3:17 pm
Location: Kumb Poster of the year 2009
Has liked: 537 likes
Total likes: 668 likes

Re: A loved one suffering from terminal cancer, dying and sorting out affairs...

Post by mushy »

Hope you are doing ok ILL.
I for one am enjoying hearing the stories about your mum and the pictures you have been painting. Keep them coming please.
User avatar
aboooooooooo
Posts: 724
Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2005 3:21 pm
Location: on the floor in front of the west stand.
Has liked: 17 likes
Total likes: 89 likes

Re: A loved one suffering from terminal cancer, dying and sorting out affairs...

Post by aboooooooooo »

tough one for me this one. I lost my dad at the end of October. He was ill for quite a while but went downhill rapidly toward the end. After a stint in hospital he was given a bed in Havering Court (Bupa Nursing Home) who work closely with the palliative care team at St. Francis.

I have to say that after a few teething troubles the staff and care given at the home was really good, but the guys who came in from St. Francis were unbelievable. They explained everything clearly and didn't sugar coat a thing but delivered every message with both sympathy and empathy. The way they handle the emotions of not only the patients but the families also was amazing and I couldn't thank them enough for all of the support they gave.

I did a lot of my grieving for dad in the last few months he was with us, and the hospice guys ad care teams were with us every step of the way.

I will probably shed a tear tonight when i get to the ground, as i've had my season ticket for 30+ years, and attended regularly with dad over the years.

Stay strong mate, and remember it's ALWAYS good to talk. :heartbreak: :heartbreak:
Online
User avatar
Tenbury
Posts: 8443
Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2016 3:28 pm
Location: Too near Kidderminster
Has liked: 526 likes
Total likes: 902 likes

Re: A loved one suffering from terminal cancer, dying and sorting out affairs...

Post by Tenbury »

I'LL,
You're moving tribute to your dear Mum, though personal to you of course, will have triggered memories for many of us, and I for one am really grateful to you for that. My mum passed 13 yrs ago and though I still miss her so, the memories you've brought back are mostly really fond ones. I'm sure that despite the initial emptyness of loss all of you recently bereaved, you will, in time, feel the same.
Mother Earth Bless you all.
Post Reply