Anything goes in The Snug, General Discussion's rebellious little brother. An off-topic den of iniquity where any subject not covered elsewhere may be discussed. Well, anything except golf, Star Wars and Arsenal.
Moderators: Gnome , last.caress , Wilko1304 , Rio , bristolhammerfc , the pink palermo , chalks
Shabu
Posts: 11941 Joined: Thu Jul 23, 2020 6:38 am
Location: San Diego, CA
Has liked: 4166 likes
Total likes: 2020 likes
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by Shabu » Wed Jan 26, 2022 8:10 am
Bamber Gascoigne wrote: ↑ Fri Jan 07, 2022 11:58 pm
My annual invite to next months "Jeremy Beadle Anniversary Wake" arrived this morning.
I had hoped that after 14 years we'd get a silver service luncheon thrown in, but no, yet again its another small finger buffet...........
I vaguely remember an old joke about Jeremy Beadle having a massive penis.
Although on the other hand it was not that big.
Joyeux Marteau
Posts: 996 Joined: Thu Aug 10, 2017 10:19 pm
Location: ‘Nam, Gloucestershire
Has liked: 83 likes
Total likes: 72 likes
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by Joyeux Marteau » Wed Jan 26, 2022 11:12 am
DoubleDave wrote: ↑ Mon Jan 17, 2022 10:28 pm
Djokovic being deported from Australia.
Does that count as a return of Serb?
He’s taking over as England’s cricket coach. He’s got no experience but it took Australia two weeks to get him out.
-DL-
Bag Man
Posts: 30097 Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2008 7:43 am
Has liked: 836 likes
Total likes: 4952 likes
Contact:
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by -DL- » Wed Jan 26, 2022 7:58 pm
My wife just said I was a sex machine.
Her exact words were 'You're a ****ing tool', but I knew EXACTLY what she meant.
-DL-
Bag Man
Posts: 30097 Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2008 7:43 am
Has liked: 836 likes
Total likes: 4952 likes
Contact:
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by -DL- » Wed Jan 26, 2022 8:07 pm
I've just created a new fragrance aimed at the introvert and sociopath market.
I've called it Leave me - the fuh cologne.
duncanio
Posts: 1042 Joined: Thu Jan 08, 2009 1:42 pm
Has liked: 52 likes
Total likes: 23 likes
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by duncanio » Sat Jan 29, 2022 7:22 pm
duncanio wrote: ↑ Mon Jan 10, 2022 11:46 pm
Cleaning windows? That's a job I could see myself doing.
**** ... that was meant to be "Cleaning mirrors? That's a job I could see myself doing."
... see it's actually a joke now.
Dover KUMB fan
Posts: 3242 Joined: Fri Nov 27, 2009 8:33 am
Total likes: 42 likes
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by Dover KUMB fan » Thu Feb 03, 2022 9:21 pm
My English teacher always told me that spelling doesn't matter because in the future we'll have autocorrect, and for that advice I will be eternally grapefruit.
The Collector
Posts: 5799 Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2004 11:59 am
Location: The Misty Isle
Has liked: 4 likes
Total likes: 12 likes
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by The Collector » Thu Feb 03, 2022 11:32 pm
Dover KUMB fan wrote: ↑ Thu Feb 03, 2022 9:21 pm
My English teacher always told me that spelling doesn't matter because in the future we'll have autocorrect, and for that advice I will be eternally grapefruit.
So, this isn’t a joke but a true story and therefore should not trouble MB.
My old shift manager was not blessed with the best ability to spell and embraced spell checking on his rare forays into the world of emails. He did once write to our HR department addressing the message “Private and Continental”. He had got “confidential” so wrong that the spell checker suggested this as probably what he meant to write and he accepted the suggestion as close enough.
Samba
Posts: 21811 Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2017 3:36 pm
Location: David Sullivan's least favourite fluffer.
Has liked: 2482 likes
Total likes: 894 likes
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by Samba » Thu Feb 03, 2022 11:36 pm
duncanio wrote: ↑ Sat Jan 29, 2022 7:22 pm
**** ... that was meant to be "Cleaning mirrors? That's a job I could see myself doing."
... see it's actually a joke now.
I was still scratching my head over that windows one..
Shy Ted
Posts: 2031 Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2012 7:48 pm
Location: Norfolk Broads
Has liked: 451 likes
Total likes: 188 likes
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by Shy Ted » Fri Feb 04, 2022 12:21 pm
I've just ordered a Rapid Test kit from the NHS. They sent me a DVD of Australia v England......
Joyeux Marteau
Posts: 996 Joined: Thu Aug 10, 2017 10:19 pm
Location: ‘Nam, Gloucestershire
Has liked: 83 likes
Total likes: 72 likes
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by Joyeux Marteau » Fri Feb 04, 2022 2:01 pm
Shy Ted wrote: ↑ Fri Feb 04, 2022 12:21 pm
I've just ordered a Rapid Test kit from the NHS. They sent me a DVD of Australia v England......
Brilliant!
Online
Suffolk Iron
Posts: 616 Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2011 5:03 pm
Has liked: 123 likes
Total likes: 39 likes
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by Suffolk Iron » Fri Feb 04, 2022 8:18 pm
Just heard the news that a guy I know has passed away.
He used to work in the local auctioneers.
Very sad, not sure how old he was,
25-30, 30-35, 35-40, 40-45.......
lewisham-mer
Posts: 1716 Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:21 am
Location: Um...Lewisham...
Has liked: 4 likes
Total likes: 34 likes
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by lewisham-mer » Tue Feb 15, 2022 7:58 pm
A man walks up to a bar and orders 10 vodka shots.
“Wow ten shots, you celebrating?” Asks the barman?
“Yeah” replies the man “my first blow job!”
“Congratulations! But why 10?” Asks the barman.
The man replies “Well, If 10 doesn’t get rid of the taste then nothing will!”
daytimedave
Posts: 1526 Joined: Mon Jan 18, 2016 12:13 pm
Location: sunny bognor regis
Has liked: 273 likes
Total likes: 87 likes
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by daytimedave » Fri Feb 18, 2022 4:16 pm
The roof of the Cheese shop down the road has blown off!!
De Brie is everywhere.
Hammer.CA
Posts: 3140 Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2013 10:37 pm
Has liked: 2782 likes
Total likes: 607 likes
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by Hammer.CA » Sun Feb 20, 2022 10:59 am
I did my first nude painting this morning.
The neighbours weren't happy but the front door looks brilliant now.
Hammer.CA
Posts: 3140 Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2013 10:37 pm
Has liked: 2782 likes
Total likes: 607 likes
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by Hammer.CA » Sun Feb 20, 2022 11:02 am
I’ve just had a call from the police saying they wanted to interview me.
I can’t even remember applying for a job with them.
Bamber Gascoigne
Posts: 4661 Joined: Wed Dec 10, 2003 6:12 pm
Location: 51° 31′ 55″ N, 0° 2′ 22″ E
Has liked: 107 likes
Total likes: 40 likes
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by Bamber Gascoigne » Sun Feb 20, 2022 5:45 pm
Hello Playmates!
What do you call a Music Hall Comedians dog thats got no back legs or tail?
Arthur Husky......
I thank you.