was it a Morris minerMonkeybubbles wrote: ↑Thu Nov 24, 2022 9:17 pm POLICEMAN: "Whose car is this? Where are you going? What do you do?"
MINER: "Mine".
The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
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- ageing hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Went to the printers earlier. Told the guy on the counter i need a 2 metre A,.a two metre S and a 2 metre K. I need them by tomorrow.
He said I'll see what I can do.but that's a big ask.
He said I'll see what I can do.but that's a big ask.
- S-H
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Did you know, that pigeons die after sex?
Well, the one I ****ed did, anyway.
Well, the one I ****ed did, anyway.
- Eggs'n'nuts
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
My dentist is offering 50% off teeth cleaning today.
Its plaque Friday.
Its plaque Friday.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I cannot help thinking Qatar are the worst hosts since Fred and Rose West.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Paddy's walking through Soho when a lady that provides horizontal refreshment says “would you like to sleep with me for £100? ”Paddy says “well I'm not very tired but to be honest I could certainly use the money”
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I was walking past the local newspaper office today when a man in a suit dashed out and hit me on the head with a rolled up newspaper.
“Oi, what did you do that for?” I said to him
“I’m the editor” he said.
“Oi, what did you do that for?” I said to him
“I’m the editor” he said.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Police in Essex were called out this morning when a man attempted a robbery armed only with a picture of a firearm.
A police spokesman said, "Thankfully we have a suspect in custody and we hope in future criminals will think twice about drawing a gun."
A police spokesman said, "Thankfully we have a suspect in custody and we hope in future criminals will think twice about drawing a gun."
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I think
- Shabu
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
No disrespect, mate, but this joke would be better with "portrait of a firearm"....Westcliffspur wrote: ↑Mon Nov 28, 2022 8:07 pm Police in Essex were called out this morning when a man attempted a robbery armed only with a picture of a firearm.
A police spokesman said, "Thankfully we have a suspect in custody and we hope in future criminals will think twice about drawing a gun."
I think
- pablo jaye
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
What do you call chess enthusiasts bragging in a lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
- chelmsfordhammer91
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
pablo jaye wrote: ↑Thu Dec 01, 2022 8:39 am What do you call chess enthusiasts bragging in a lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
- Dover KUMB fan
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Off page 1??? Outrageous.....
My car wouldn't start this morning. I opened the Bonnet & there was a bat sitting on top of my engine.
"Morning sir" he said "My, what a handsome chap you are & that suit is stunning, it really looks good on you."
Well at least now I know the problem with the car....
Bat Flattery
My car wouldn't start this morning. I opened the Bonnet & there was a bat sitting on top of my engine.
"Morning sir" he said "My, what a handsome chap you are & that suit is stunning, it really looks good on you."
Well at least now I know the problem with the car....
Bat Flattery
- Monkeybubbles
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
......and the bat said "do you need a lift?"
"Yes please" I replied
"Your hair looks great. The world's your oyster. Just do it".
"Yes please" I replied
"Your hair looks great. The world's your oyster. Just do it".
- Dover KUMB fan
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I must confess I saw you had replied & thought I was in repeat hot waterMonkeybubbles wrote: ↑Mon Dec 12, 2022 9:09 am ......and the bat said "do you need a lift?"
"Yes please" I replied
"Your hair looks great. The world's your oyster. Just do it".
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
My wife and I are having a competition on who can steal the most dog related stuff from our local pet shop.
I've just taken the lead.
I've just taken the lead.
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- Chicken Run Supreme
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
How will King Charles be signing his Christmas cards ?
The Artist Formerly Known as Prince
The Artist Formerly Known as Prince
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
It took me nearly 10 minutes this morning to scrape all the global warming off my car windows.
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