The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

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Westcliffspur
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Westcliffspur »

I once ordered a frankfurter in a chip ship in Newcastle.

The woman serving was some time out the back before returning with a photo.of Sinatra.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Shy Ted »

Just got 3 tips off the bookie for grand national.

Sunshine 10/1

Moonlight 17/1

Good times 50/1

If they don’t win don’t blame it on Sunshine, Don’t blame it on moonlight, don’t blame it on Good times, Blame it on the Bookie
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by pablo jaye »

Ted - that’s got to be some sort of record for a repeated joke … look at the last one on the previous page. 😉👍🏼
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Monkeybubbles »

pablo jaye wrote: Sat Apr 09, 2022 7:21 pm Ted - that’s got to be some sort of record for a repeated joke … look at the last one on the previous page. 😉👍🏼
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PABLO, WHEN WILL THIS PEDANTRY STOP?
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Shy Ted
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Shy Ted »

pablo jaye wrote: Sat Apr 09, 2022 7:21 pm Ted - that’s got to be some sort of record for a repeated joke … look at the last one on the previous page. 😉👍🏼
I apologise to all concerned. :oops:
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Greatest Cockney Rip Off »

Westcliffspur wrote: Sat Apr 09, 2022 11:42 am I once ordered a frankfurter in a chip ship in Newcastle.

The woman serving was some time out the back before returning with a photo.of Sinatra.


What is the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?



One is a marsupial, the other is a Geordie stuck in a lift.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by swisstony »

Geordie lass goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, when ah teek me bra off at neet, me tits smell like coconut?"

Doctor says "Why aye lass, they're bounty"
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Monkeybubbles »

Geordies are still struggling with the news that Aldi isn't open 24/7
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Bromleyboy »

davids cross wrote: Tue Jan 26, 2010 6:23 pm There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman...................and a chap from Pakistan.

I personally give his thread about 4 days......... :lol:
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Hammer.CA »

BREAKING NEWS!
Heathrow Airport police are concerned at the number of passengers smuggling helium filled balloons in their luggage.

Cases continue to rise.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Hammer.CA »

I walked through the town last night and I saw an apple pie, blackcurrant cheesecake, a knickerbocker glory and a sherry trifle.
The streets were strangely desserted.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Westcliffspur »

Went to see my nephew yesterday, he's only 16 and already a heroin addict. They shoot up so fast.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Tenbury »

Growing up as a child I was surrounded by sponge cake, cream and chocolate.

Life was tough in the gateaux.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Greatest Cockney Rip Off »

Now that engineers have successfully made a car that can run on parsley, they're attempting to make trains that can run on thyme.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Westcliffspur »

Has anyone tried Sylvester Stallone's scones?

I hear they're the best thing since Sly's bread.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Westcliffspur »

Gandalf came into my shop and asked, " Do I get any money off for having this big stick?"

I told him, I'm sorry. I don't do staff discounts."
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Greatest Cockney Rip Off »

Apparently scientists have isolated a food which can permanently reduce a woman's sex drive by 75%.



It's called wedding cake.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Puff Daddy »

In the early days of the Russian revolution, two blokes, one a peasant, the other, a top brass knob, are having a piss in a public bog. They start up conversation whilst taking a piss. The peasant says to the top brass knob. "Only in Russia, comrade can a peasant have a piss, within pissing distance of someone like you" The top brass knob, replies. " Yes only inRussia comrade" The peasant then says "Say comrade, why is your piss going, swish, swish, swish when my piss is going, splat, splat, splat". The top brass knob says " "Because you are pissing on my boots, you ****ing peasant"
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by vietnammer »

Saw a sea bird carrying a pint of milk.

Think it was on the tern
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by southbrishammer »

How does NASA organise a space launch?

They planet.
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