The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
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- Greatest Cockney Rip Off
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I have decided to identify as a donkey from now on. Please note that my new pronouns are Hee/Haw.
- pablo jaye
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I’ve decided to identify as an owl from now on. And will respond to the following pronouns - Twit/Twoo.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Just killed a spider with my shoe.
Still, the little b*stard shouldn't have stolen it.
Still, the little b*stard shouldn't have stolen it.
- Greatest Cockney Rip Off
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I used to be addicted to Christmas leftovers.
I got over it, after a week of cold turkey.
I got over it, after a week of cold turkey.
- 'Appy 'Ammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I got told if I turn the bedside lamp off, I could get frisky and shove it up her arse. I should of waited until the bulb cooled down
- Dover KUMB fan
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I've just been informed that I failed my entry exam for the RAF.
Apparently the Bomb bay doors are not an Indian tribute band.
Apparently the Bomb bay doors are not an Indian tribute band.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
That made me laugh more than it should have lol'Appy 'Ammer wrote: ↑Sun Mar 20, 2022 11:27 pm I got told if I turn the bedside lamp off, I could get frisky and shove it up her arse. I should of waited until the bulb cooled down
- ageing hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
My Missus discovered I was cheating when she found the letters I had hidden................
She'll never let me play scrabble again.
She'll never let me play scrabble again.
- ageing hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
A Russian soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later."
The nun agreed...
A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?"
The nun replied, "He went that way."
After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough, sister. You see, I don't want to go to Ukraine."
The nun said, "I understand completely."
The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"
The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls… 'Cos I don't want to go to Ukraine either."
The nun agreed...
A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?"
The nun replied, "He went that way."
After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough, sister. You see, I don't want to go to Ukraine."
The nun said, "I understand completely."
The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"
The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls… 'Cos I don't want to go to Ukraine either."
- jevs
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Just want to say thank you to the kind passerby’s who helped as they could see me clearly in distress after getting robbed at the petrol station yesterday evening. Not something I was expecting arriving back from a month off of work. First off, I'm OK, though I was a bit shook up.
After my hands stopped trembling, I did manage to call the police.
They were quick to respond and calmed me down because my blood pressure went through the roof! My money's gone, however the police asked me if I had any clue who did it and I told them,
"Yes, it was pump number 1."
After my hands stopped trembling, I did manage to call the police.
They were quick to respond and calmed me down because my blood pressure went through the roof! My money's gone, however the police asked me if I had any clue who did it and I told them,
"Yes, it was pump number 1."
- Greatest Cockney Rip Off
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I just saw a car being driven by a sheep in a swimsuit.
It was a Lamb Bikini.
It was a Lamb Bikini.
- ageing hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
This woman goes into the butchers and says "you have a cow's head in the window"
The butcher replies " that's a mirror" :lol:
The butcher replies " that's a mirror" :lol:
- pablo jaye
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
To the person who stole my trainers and hi-viz jacket...
You can run, but you can't hide.
You can run, but you can't hide.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Interesting facts,
During his military service Elvis served in the bomb disposal team due to his experience with suspicious mines.
During his military service Elvis served in the bomb disposal team due to his experience with suspicious mines.
- devonshire flu
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I identify as invisible.
I am trans-parent.
My pronouns are who/where.
I am trans-parent.
My pronouns are who/where.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Went to see a great Stiff Little Fingers tribute band tonight.
They call themselves Arthritis.
They call themselves Arthritis.
- ageing hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Received three tips for the Grand National from my mate who is a bookie.
1. Sunshine
2. Moonlight
3. Good Times.
Bet responsibly and remember if the bets fail, don't blame it on the Sunshine, don't blame it on the Moonlight - blame it on the bookie!
1. Sunshine
2. Moonlight
3. Good Times.
Bet responsibly and remember if the bets fail, don't blame it on the Sunshine, don't blame it on the Moonlight - blame it on the bookie!