The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

[Samba]

That Mike Godwin bloke... worse than Hitler.

[sword]

Jeez, that is fuckin' clever!

[lewisham-mer]

Just put all my dogging gear up for sale on eBay.

Not had any bids yet but there are 14 people watching

[WestSamToo]

My dyslexic club had a day out to visit a Maritime museum.
Half of us loved it, the other half hated it.

What does DNA stand for?

National Dyslexic Association.

[pablo jaye]

Accordion to a recent survey, people won't notice when you slip in the name of a musical instrument in a sentence.

[DM]

Accordion to a recent survey, people won't notice when you slip in the name of a musical instrument in a sentence.

Bassed on what survey???

[Polaroid]

Accordion to a recent survey, people won't notice when you slip in the name of a musical instrument in a sentence.

Nonsense. They're just trying to drum up business.

[IABATAC]

Accordion to a recent survey, people won't notice when you slip in the name of a musical instrument in a sentence.

Someone told me about this when I was on a P&O cruise round the Bermuda triangle.

[sword]

You can bet a tenor to snare anyone if you harp on about this, even Maxwell Cornet.

[Uptonogood247]

What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi??

Dubai don't like The Flintstones, but Abu Dhabi do...

[Shabu]

What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi??

Dubai don't like The Flintstones, but Abu Dhabi do...

Bizarre coincidence my boss tried to tell me this joke yesterday and I told him it was older than the Flintstones :lol:

[RaddyKovac]

Someone told me about this when I was on a P&O cruise round the Bermuda triangle.

Good comeback!

[Hammer.CA]

Albert Arkwright, the world’s scruffiest man, died today.
His body is lying in a state.

[ageing hammer]

Just bought the wife's Valentine's Day treat......



A hot air balloon trip across the USA

[Eggs'n'nuts]

Personally, all that ballon business doesn't bother me.

It'll soon blow over.......

[Hammer.CA]

I used to get a Valentine’s card every year from a secret admirer but this year I haven’t received one.

First my gran dies, now this!

[Hammer.CA]

I took a new workmate home for some food, when we went in to the lounge my dog was lying there licking his balls.
My mate said “Wow, I wished I could do that”
I said to him “Well you’d better pet him a bit first, he can get quite nasty with people he doesn’t know”

[Hammer.CA]

I was up to my knees in cheese spread yesterday.
That’s the last time I walk the streets of Philadelphia.

[Hammer.CA]

I went for a walk in the park yesterday, it was much easier than I expected.

[ageing hammer]

I followed this Chinese weather balloon for two hundred miles,


turned out it was birdshit on my windscreen