The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by ageing hammer »

Living Dhal

good old Cliff
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by ageing hammer »

It’s Bhuna Hard Days Night
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by IABATAC »

Land Of 1000 Dhansaks
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Post by Shabu »

Vindaloo by Fat Les.
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Post by chelmsfordhammer91 »

Saag Aloo by Black Lace.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by southbrishammer »

Don't Cry For Me Bhajitina.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Bamber Gascoigne »

Paperback Raita - The Beatles

Naughty Balti - John Parr

Korai me a River - Ella Fitzgerald

Oh Chapatti - Scritti Politti

Private Dupiza - Tina Turner

ArgyBhaji - Squeeze

Puree - Prince

Shashlik it Up - Kiss

Free Phalling - Tom Petty

Chaats the way (I like it) - KC & The Sunshine Band

Aloo - Lionel Richie

and that classic oldie.... Pakora your Troubles in Your Old Kit Bag - Felix Powell
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Monkeybubbles »

Anything featuring Wet Wet Wet's singer, Basmati Pilau.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by S-H »

Monkeybubbles wrote: Tue Aug 09, 2022 12:12 pm I reckon Moyes could get a tune out of him. Take these broken Mings and learn to fly again.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by -DL- »

I was offered Sex today by a 21 year old blonde woman with cracking tits.

In exchange I was asked to advertise a new bathroom cleaner here on KUMB, which of course I refused because of my morals, what with being a married man, and having strong willpower - which is just as strong as Cillet Bang, which is now available in scented lemon fragrance.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by WestHamLyallStyle »

I thought you spelled caesarean with an s but when I checked the dictionary it was under the c section.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Dover KUMB fan »

WestHamLyallStyle wrote: Wed Aug 10, 2022 11:07 pm I thought you spelled caesarean with an s but when I checked the dictionary it was under the c section.
Brilliant!!!!!
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by cambridge hammer »

I heard the bricklayers outside my house arguing about who had forgotten to put the tools in the van.

There was a lot of finger pointing.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by PF. »

The past, the present and the future walk into a bar.

It was tense.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by vietnammer »

PF. wrote: Thu Aug 11, 2022 9:16 pm The past, the present and the future walk into a bar.

It was tense.
Invoking the Monkeybubbles Act (2017) here; "Any joke, gag or bon-mot perceived to have been posted at a previous date to the one shown presently, either in abstract meaning or verbatim, shall be considered a violation. The police will be informed, even if they tell us to f*** off"
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by ageing hammer »

A horse an elephant and a monkey walked into a bar.

The barman says " is this some kind of joke "
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Monkeybubbles »

vietnammer wrote: Fri Aug 12, 2022 8:13 am Invoking the Monkeybubbles Act (2017) here; "Any joke, gag or bon-mot perceived to have been posted at a previous date to the one shown presently, either in abstract meaning or verbatim, shall be considered a violation. The police will be informed, even if they tell us to **** off"
Deal with your own problems, I'm busy being outraged on the transfer thread.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Greatest Cockney Rip Off »

Monkeybubbles wrote: Fri Aug 12, 2022 12:21 pm Deal with your own problems, I'm busy being outraged on the transfer thread.
Ah the transfer thread. That's probably the biggest joke on this forum. Always is during pre-season and crimbo.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Arch Dandy »

My son has been wearing a Tottenham shirt as part of a social experiment, so far he's been kicked, verbally abused and spat at. Be interesting to see what happens when he leaves the house.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by ham34mer »

Arch Dandy wrote: Tue Aug 16, 2022 12:46 pm My son has been wearing a Tottenham shirt as part of a social experiment, so far he's been kicked, verbally abused and spat at. Be interesting to see what happens when he leaves the house.
Be sure to grab his hair and pull him to the ground as he leaves the house!

*it's NOT a foul apparently...
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