The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
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- hammer etc
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Charlie was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was missing.
He asked his wife Karen if she would go to B&Q and pick up a hinge and she agreed.
While she was waiting for the manager to finish serving a customer, her eye was caught by a beautiful bathroom tap.
When the manager was finished, Karen asked him, "How much is that bath tap?”
The manager replied, "That's a gold plated bath tap and the price is £1450.00”
Karen exclaimed "My goodness, that is a very expensive bath tap, It's certainly out of my price bracket."
She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy.
The manager said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to get one.
From the storeroom the manager yelled, "Ma'am, do you wanna screw for the hinge?"
Karen paused for a moment and then shouted back “No, but I will for the bath tap"
And this is why you can't send women to B&Q.
He asked his wife Karen if she would go to B&Q and pick up a hinge and she agreed.
While she was waiting for the manager to finish serving a customer, her eye was caught by a beautiful bathroom tap.
When the manager was finished, Karen asked him, "How much is that bath tap?”
The manager replied, "That's a gold plated bath tap and the price is £1450.00”
Karen exclaimed "My goodness, that is a very expensive bath tap, It's certainly out of my price bracket."
She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy.
The manager said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to get one.
From the storeroom the manager yelled, "Ma'am, do you wanna screw for the hinge?"
Karen paused for a moment and then shouted back “No, but I will for the bath tap"
And this is why you can't send women to B&Q.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I’ve just come back from the doctor’s, my neck has been aching very badly for the last few days.
I was involved in a road accident last week, an ice cream van drove into the back of my car.
The doctor said that I’m suffering from whippylash.
I was involved in a road accident last week, an ice cream van drove into the back of my car.
The doctor said that I’m suffering from whippylash.
- ageing hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
William Shatner has discontinued his new line of Lingerie.
Apparently Shatner Panties wasn't the best choice of names.
Apparently Shatner Panties wasn't the best choice of names.
Online
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
ageing hammer wrote: ↑Tue Jul 26, 2022 10:14 am William Shatner has discontinued his new line of Lingerie.
Apparently Shatner Panties wasn't the best choice of names.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
My missus is trying to watch the women’s football, I’m doing the hoovering.
That’ll f*cking teach her!
That’ll f*cking teach her!
- Greatest Cockney Rip Off
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?
So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.
So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.
- Suffolk Iron
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
A Millwall supporter goes into a chemist and asks for a packet of condoms.
The chemist says "You don't need them, your daughter bought some earlier"
The chemist says "You don't need them, your daughter bought some earlier"
- Shabu
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
The irony of someone from Suffolk telling this joke :lol:Suffolk Iron wrote: ↑Sat Jul 30, 2022 7:34 pm A Millwall supporter goes into a chemist and asks for a packet of condoms.
The chemist says "You don't need them, your daughter bought some earlier"
- Suffolk Iron
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I'm not from Suffolk, I just lived there when I joined the site. I get your point though.
"Give me six!"
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Made a nice change last night, the mrs coming home p*ssed after the football trying to get a shag but I told her I’d got a headache.
- pablo jaye
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- pablo jaye
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Last night, I went out drinking with The Beach Boys. It was great until I asked whose round it was.
- Joyeux Marteau
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Breaking news
A man has been rushed to hospital with eight toy horses stuck in his rectum.
Doctors have said he’s in a stable condition.
apologies if this has been done before
A man has been rushed to hospital with eight toy horses stuck in his rectum.
Doctors have said he’s in a stable condition.
apologies if this has been done before
- vietnammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
joke posted on 23 March 2010 at 2:37 pm. Sorry, you've been caught out. Now do the decent thing and resign from the website.
- hammer etc
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Went into the chemist the other day and said to the young lady behind the counter "can I have 99 condoms please." '99, f@@k me"" she exclaimed, totally shocked. "You better make it 100" I said.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I was a little bit surprised when my dinner at the local Brasilian steakhouse had a hair on it.
- Shabu
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Almost as bad as when I asked Bill Withers how his day was...pablo jaye wrote: ↑Thu Aug 04, 2022 12:53 pm Last night, I went out drinking with The Beach Boys. It was great until I asked whose round it was.
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
That's nothing. I was stuck on a crossword clue, "flying feathered animal, 4 letters" and I made the mistake of asking The Trashmen.
- Shabu
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I was at an Indian restaurant with Phil Collins. Waiter walked past and sprinkled some spice on his head.
He looked at me and said "I can feel it, cumin in my hair tonight, oh lord"
He looked at me and said "I can feel it, cumin in my hair tonight, oh lord"