The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I can’t believe the film Groundhog Day came out 30 years ago, it only seems like yesterday.
- hammer etc
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I bought Insect Farm Simulator on early release. I wish I'd waited, it's so full of bugs.
- Dover KUMB fan
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I asked my mate why he was wearing a baseball cap made out of Bread.
He said "Doctors orders, He insisted I went on a loaf hat diet"
He said "Doctors orders, He insisted I went on a loaf hat diet"
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- Shabu
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
My penis was in the Guinness Book of Records.
Then the Librarian shouted "Get that thing out of there"
Then the Librarian shouted "Get that thing out of there"
- Alan Pardew's Dad
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Every day, without fail, I go from house to house telling people about the benefits of exercise.
It’s called Jehovah’s Fitness because I do it religiously.
It’s called Jehovah’s Fitness because I do it religiously.
- ageing hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I took a job as a postman recently...........I thought to myself that it was better than walking the streets.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
My mate Iain went to the opticians the other day.
He was surprised to discover he has one eye bigger than the other.
He was surprised to discover he has one eye bigger than the other.
Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I know this problem all too well.
And yet you'd be surprised how many people think my big eye is an 'L' - I mean, who (apart from neil out of the Young Ones) spells their name without a capital letter at the beginning?
- Dieter Eckstein
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I’m in a dispute with my neighbour over who owns the concrete patio behind our flats. It’s a bit of a grey area
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I asked a married woman for a date once, but she said no because I have a face like the back a boat. I didn't reply, I just gave her a stern look.
- ageing hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Did she deck you or give you a broadsidepablo jaye wrote: ↑Tue Mar 28, 2023 9:56 pm I asked a married woman for a date once, but she said no because I have a face like the back a boat. I didn't reply, I just gave her a stern look.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Irish courtroom
Mick, you are charged with beating your wife to death with a claw hammer. Theres a shout from Paddy at the back of the courtroom ' b*stard'.
Mick you are also charged with beating your mother in law with a claw hammer. Paddy shouts out ' YA ****ing b*stard'.
Judge to Paddy. Another word out of you and i'll charge you with contempt of court. What is your problem?
Paddy Im his next door neighbour and ive called several times to him asking to borrow his hammer, but he kept saying he hasnt got one
Mick, you are charged with beating your wife to death with a claw hammer. Theres a shout from Paddy at the back of the courtroom ' b*stard'.
Mick you are also charged with beating your mother in law with a claw hammer. Paddy shouts out ' YA ****ing b*stard'.
Judge to Paddy. Another word out of you and i'll charge you with contempt of court. What is your problem?
Paddy Im his next door neighbour and ive called several times to him asking to borrow his hammer, but he kept saying he hasnt got one
- ageing hammer
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- ageing hammer
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