The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by westham,eggyandchips »

Image
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by pablo jaye »

Stallone: I'm making a movie about composers. I'm playing Beethoven.
Van Damme: I'll be Mozart.
Schwarzenegger: Stop it guys, I'm not saying it.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by pablo jaye »

Just been to an army wife-swapping party. Left when people starting dropping their khakis into a bowl.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Greatest Cockney Rip Off »

I'm going to write a book about all the
things I should have done with my life.


I'll call it my oughtabiography.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Clacton-ammer »

pablo jaye wrote: Thu Mar 10, 2022 7:33 am Stallone: I'm making a movie about composers. I'm playing Beethoven.
Van Damme: I'll be Mozart.
Schwarzenegger: Stop it guys, I'm not saying it.
Took me far too long to get this, but then :lol:
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Greatest Cockney Rip Off »

Bilbo Baggins was able to survive the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy and prequel because old Hobbits die hard
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by pablo jaye »

Clacton-ammer wrote: Mon Mar 14, 2022 10:39 am Took me far too long to get this, but then :lol:

Same here!! :crylol:
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Tenbury »

Back in the day, whenever David Ginola scored we'd drink gin all night. When Beckham scored, we'd drink Becks all night.

Thankfully, David Seaman was a goalie..
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Dover KUMB fan »

Chelsea FC online shop announce a closing down sale!!!!
EVERYTHING MOSCOW!
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by E13 Forever »

Dover KUMB fan wrote: Mon Mar 14, 2022 1:46 pm Chelsea FC online shop announce a closing down sale!!!!
EVERYTHING MOSCOW!
Chelsea fans will be russian to get a bargin
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by DM »

Clacton-ammer wrote: Mon Mar 14, 2022 10:39 am Took me far too long to get this, but then :lol:
You could have got it 5 pages back, 10 pages back etc.etc. Where is MB ?
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Hammer.CA »

Midwife for sale,

Can deliver.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Eastcote »

There's something wrong with my Car Navigation equipment. I typed in "Manchester" and it replied "No longer in Europe...?"
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Hammer.CA »

I just bought a CD called 'Latin MIX', which turned out to be 1,009 songs from Ancient Rome.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Deepster »

Eastcote wrote: Wed Mar 16, 2022 9:22 am There's something wrong with my Car Navigation equipment. I typed in "Manchester" and it replied "No longer in Europe...?"
I'm going to nick this one, but will not be using until I see how tonight turns out.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Eastcote »

Deepster wrote: Thu Mar 17, 2022 1:06 pm I'm going to nick this one, but will not be using until I see how tonight turns out.
I hope you have used it at least 100 times!!! :crest: :scarfer:
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by vietnammer »

What key do you get if you chuck a piano down a mineshaft?

A flat miner
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Deepster »

Deepster wrote: Thu Mar 17, 2022 1:06 pm I'm going to nick this one, but will not be using until I see how tonight turns out.

Just remembered and flogged to death
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Westcliffspur »

Vladimir Putin dies and goes to Hell. After a while he gets a 1 day pass for good behaviour.

He walks into a Moscow bar and asks the bartender for a vodka.

Is Crimea ours?

Yes it is.

And the Donbas?

Yes.

And Kyiv?

That too.

Thanks. How much will that be?

5 Euros.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by jastons »

Is there a punchline?
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