Little things that irritate you

[prophet:marginal]

Beeps.
Everything in my house ****ing beeps.
The stove, the microwave, the fridge, the clothes rack, even the milk frother.
Get off my ****ing back, you bastards.

The self-satisfied beep the washing machine does - three at a time, spaced out by 2 minutes - makes me want to smash the glass porthole front with a hammer and throw the clean washing out of the backdoor.

[-DL-]

Probably easier to just empty it tbf.

Solves the beeping problem too.

[ageing hammer]

AH, I can do you a lovely range of silent alarms if you want.

So rather than having loads of noisy alarms sounding, your home can be filled with strobes, vibrating cushions and pillows.

That way, you'll be able to join in the fun of this thread.

I am the only deaf **** in the house what about the missus and my kids

Mind you the vibrating cushion sounds appealing

[AnthraxDave]

People who have public conversations on their mobile whilst they have it on speakerphone.

You're not important, mate. Nobody else wants to hear it.

[dasnutnock3]

My new patio doors arrived today. 70mm taller than they needed to be. Builder managed to sell them to another client for half the price I paid, ordered the correct size just now. £1k down.

Angry.

[sendô]

I barely slept last night. Kept waking up, hot, uncomforable and could not stop my mind whirling away about work. I think I saw every hour.

I'm ****ing knackered today as a result. Supposed to be meeting a couple of mates for a few pints after work but honestly I think I might have to long it off and head straight home and straight to bed.

[Johnny Byrne's Boots]

My new patio doors arrived today. 70mm taller than they needed to be. Builder managed to sell them to another client for half the price I paid, ordered the correct size just now. £1k down.

Angry.

Has your leg fallen off yet?

[dasnutnock3]

Has your leg fallen off yet?

No, but I did dream it needed amputation last night. That was nice. GP looked at it earlier and seemed unconcerned - told me to sod off and buy some hydrocortisone cream, whilst fiddling with his extremely expensive Garmin “GolfC*nt” wristwatch.

[Dave Hedgehog]

People who have public conversations on their mobile whilst they have it on speakerphone.

You're not important, mate. Nobody else wants to hear it.

If it sounds like they are talking to their other half, lean over and say "come back to bed, sweetie".

[Johnny Byrne's Boots]

dnn

[Hammer1972]

Same in Riyadh. Bloke was managing 2 mobiles constantly and speeding. It was when we struck and mounted the kerb that I finally had an angry word about wanting the use of my legs when I got home. He didn't speak English though.

Had one on a work trip to Amsterdam many years ago. The taxi driver had managed to get the television displaying on his car’s display screen and was watching the football as he drove us to our hotel…

[Hummer_I_mean_Hammer]

My new patio doors arrived today. 70mm taller than they needed to be. Builder managed to sell them to another client for half the price I paid, ordered the correct size just now. £1k down.

Angry.

Use a multitool and cut back the lintel 70mm. Happy days.

[dasnutnock3]

Was tempted but its a crappy lintel that was really badly installed. I suspect the old patio frame was doing most of the load-bearing

[Hammers Dad]

Driving back from Bournemouth yesterday and on the M27, M3 and M25 saw all the same ****.
I was in the left hand lane and passed numerous cars, vans and lorries doing 60MPH in lanes 2 & 3 when lane 1 was free.
Arseholes driving 3ft from my bumper.
People braking with nothing in front of them and one complete knobhead who whizzed through 4 lanes to take a turnoff with about 2 foot to spare.

C***s the lot of them

[OFT]

My new patio doors arrived today. 70mm taller than they needed to be. Builder managed to sell them to another client for half the price I paid, ordered the correct size just now. £1k down.

Angry.

Crafty of them that

[S-H]

That they use the Goonies music on the new National Lottery advert.

[dasnutnock3]

Crafty of them that

He’s a mate, he wouldn’t be that much of a c*nt. <narrows eyes> actually…

[jastons]

Who measured it?

[dasnutnock3]

He did but he wasn’t to know the lintel was well below the brick and obscured by wood cladding. The lintel is really badly installed and only barely supported by the brickwork either side.

He’s done a brilliant job on the garden, turned it from a dank and useless garden to a magnificent multi-zone outdoor living space, single-handedly, all to my specification. It’s all beautifully designed and constructed, solid, squared and high-spec. Just messed up the door measurement. New back door wasn’t on the original design and he was happy to install it. Just annoying since everything else went so well and this was one of the last bits.

[S-H]

Last Saturday was the first proper night out for me and the wife since little man arrived.

Caught COVID.