Little things that irritate you

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dasnutnock3
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Re: Little things that irritate you

Post by dasnutnock3 »

Jetwashed the patio this morning, then spent 20 minutes clearing up and packing everything away. Turned round to admire my work and noticed two fresh bird shits on it. Feathered f*ckers.
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Re: Little things that irritate you

Post by vietnammer »

As on a previous page, constipation. Allied to being in hospital due to high calcium levels ( nothing dangerous though folks). Two lots of NHS curry powder and no movement since Sunday .
Dunno when I'm out, all depends on the latest blood test. I've got more holes in me than a f*****g watering can :(
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Re: Little things that irritate you

Post by The Old Man of Storr »

Monkeybubbles wrote: Sat May 20, 2023 12:16 pm I thought my beard was making me look older, so I shaved it off.

Turns out that wasn't the problem after all.

What was the problem then - a mix-up at the hospital - are you who they say you are ?

I've got a great solution - I keep looking at photographs of myself aged 12 and I've convinced myself I'm still young .

Better than shaving my bloody beard off , that was just silly .
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Re: Little things that irritate you

Post by The Old Man of Storr »

vietnammer wrote: Tue May 23, 2023 3:07 pm As on a previous page, constipation. Allied to being in hospital due to high calcium levels ( nothing dangerous though folks). Two lots of NHS curry powder and no movement since Sunday .
Dunno when I'm out, all depends on the latest blood test. I've got more holes in me than a f*****g watering can :(

Watering cans don't have holes in them , otherwise they'd leak .

It's the rose thingy at the top of the spout wot has the holes .


Hope you get to poo soon ., poor thing . Would you like me to tell you a scary story ?
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Re: Little things that irritate you

Post by Johnny Byrne's Boots »

The grass collection system on my lawnmower. It's a petrol rotary mower with a clip on grassbox. Start cutting and fairly soon it exhibits the symptoms of a full box. Unclip it and all the grass is at the front of the bag blocking the throat where it exits the blade chamber. It's about a quarter full, if that. Shove it all to the back, unclog the throat, rinse, repeat. It's a shame as it's a really good mower (Spear & Jackson push rotary mower with Briggs & Stratton 3.5 HP engine).
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Re: Little things that irritate you

Post by Kludgehammer »

vietnammer wrote: Tue May 23, 2023 3:07 pm As on a previous page, constipation. Allied to being in hospital due to high calcium levels ( nothing dangerous though folks). Two lots of NHS curry powder and no movement since Sunday .
Dunno when I'm out, all depends on the latest blood test. I've got more holes in me than a f*****g watering can :(
Try Dulco-Ease or talk to your doctor about something stronger (Laxido, or similar). I had apocalyptic constipation after being on a liquid-only diet due to dental implants and (drawing a veil over the horrors until it was solved) the only way I resolved it was with that. Otherwise, I might as well have been trying to crap out breeze blocks.
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Re: Little things that irritate you

Post by Johnny Byrne's Boots »

"That's not in my wheelhouse". WTF does it even mean?
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Re: Little things that irritate you

Post by Alan Pardew's Dad »

Johnny Byrne's Boots wrote: Tue May 23, 2023 10:04 pm "That's not in my wheelhouse". WTF does it even mean?
Sounds like what the missus might say if you went up the OXO tower
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Re: Little things that irritate you

Post by WestSamToo »

Kludgehammer wrote: Tue May 23, 2023 9:40 pm Try Dulco-Ease or talk to your doctor about something stronger (Laxido, or similar). I had apocalyptic constipation after being on a liquid-only diet due to dental implants and (drawing a veil over the horrors until it was solved) the only way I resolved it was with that. Otherwise, I might as well have been trying to crap out breeze blocks.
Think about the West Ham and Fiorentina players stood in the tunnel, waiting to walk out onto the pitch....sets me off.
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Re: Little things that irritate you

Post by Samba »

Winning £2.40 on tonight's Euro Lottery then realising it was actually a loss of 10p...
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Re: Little things that irritate you

Post by Samba »

Johnny Byrne's Boots wrote: Tue May 23, 2023 10:04 pm "That's not in my wheelhouse". WTF does it even mean?
'Idiomatic Meaning: Not within one's area of expertise or interest; against, outside of, or not matching someone's general interests, abilities, or area of familiarity; outside of someone's comfort zone.'
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Re: Little things that irritate you

Post by The Old Man of Storr »

Samba wrote: Tue May 23, 2023 11:26 pm 'Idiomatic Meaning: Not within one's area of expertise or interest; against, outside of, or not matching someone's general interests, abilities, or area of familiarity; outside of someone's comfort zone.'

Or it could be something that's outwith The Wheelhouse like the mast or the propeller or the engine room or the dining room or The Captain if he's down in the bar getting pissed having lashed the wheel with a bit of rope .

I'll have you know I have a Lifeboatman's Certificate so I know what I'm talking about -

Also , another true story -

One stormy Winter's night while sailing back and forth between Kyle and Kyleakin 5 of us were packed inside the wheelhouse sheltering from the wind and the rain - 4 of us were pissed and the other high on marijuana :shocker: - driving those ferries was far easier than it looked . :grin:
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Re: Little things that irritate you

Post by WHU Independent »

Undertakers - rip off, money grabbing, profiteering bastards.

All sympathy and condolences until you don't go with what they want - then its storage charges, moving charges, charges for this, that and the other.
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Re: Little things that irritate you

Post by Samba »

The Old Man of Storr wrote: Wed May 24, 2023 12:10 am One stormy Winter's night while sailing back and forth between Kyle and Kyleakin 5 of us were packed inside the wheelhouse sheltering from the wind and the rain - 4 of us were pissed and the other high on marijuana :shocker: - driving those ferries was far easier than it looked . :grin:
Was that the night the ferry ended up on Loch Ness?
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Re: Little things that irritate you

Post by sendô »

sendô wrote: Tue May 23, 2023 8:20 am Flax seeds. I've realised that it's them giving me terrible stomach cramps.
Mrs Sendo informs me that it was in fact chia seeds, not flax seeds, that she tried to kill me with.
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Re: Little things that irritate you

Post by Clacton-ammer »

I have a small farmer appear, my chocolate outbox is irritating somewhat!
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Re: Little things that irritate you

Post by The Old Man of Storr »

Samba wrote: Wed May 24, 2023 1:14 am Was that the night the ferry ended up on Loch Ness?

It did end up in Balmacara one night , a few weeks before I joined - one of the ramps failed and just dropped into the water acting like a giant rudder making the ferry impossible to navigate so it drifted down to Balmacara and had to be towed back to Kyleakin by a Navy Base tug - Dear Dodo was Skipper that night , he never quite got over it but still continued as one of the Skippers , bless him , he's no longer with us , another victim of the demon . He was a lovely man .
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Re: Little things that irritate you

Post by Hummer_I_mean_Hammer »

The Old Man of Storr wrote: Wed May 24, 2023 12:10 am Also , another true story -

One stormy Winter's night while sailing back and forth between Kyle and Kyleakin 5 of us were packed inside the wheelhouse sheltering from the wind and the rain - 4 of us were pissed and the other high on marijuana :shocker: - driving those ferries was far easier than it looked . :grin:
Admit it.

It was you and three buddy Kriegsmarine looking to kick off operation sealion...
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Re: Little things that irritate you

Post by prophet:marginal »

vietnammer wrote: Tue May 23, 2023 3:07 pm As on a previous page, constipation. Allied to being in hospital due to high calcium levels ( nothing dangerous though folks). Two lots of NHS curry powder and no movement since Sunday .
Dunno when I'm out, all depends on the latest blood test. I've got more holes in me than a f*****g watering can :(
chin up, mate; wishing you better
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Re: Little things that irritate you

Post by White Goodman »

The laughable length of the build up to the Indy 500
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