Little things that irritate you

[westham,eggyandchips]

A12 in the rain yesterday morning - I concur.

An absolute whore of a road. Only the A406 can rival it.

[Greatest Cockney Rip Off]

The wankfest that surrounds Paddys day.

[westham,eggyandchips]

Y'fecker.....beat me to it.

[Greatest Cockney Rip Off]

A cold that I just can't get rid of. Had it all week and it's starting to f*** me off now.

[prophet:marginal]

A cold that I just can't get rid of. Had it all week and it's starting to **** me off now.

If it's a cough and a cold, try this:

1. Grate an onion
2. Cover that with demerara sugar, and
3. Leave for an hour or so, before drinking down in one the brown liquid that comes out of the onion.

It doesn't taste all that good, but it definitely counteracts the swelling you've probably got from any coughing.

[Rio]

People buying my parents crap. Like proper crap

They’re both in their 70’s, and have accumulated more toot than is healthy as it is.

Phoned my mum up this morning to wish her happy Mother’s Day and at the end of the call she informs me they’re popping out to Homebase to buy an easel. Now my first reaction is what the hell, and the heart sinks. It turns out for good reason. My cousin has bought them a painting of Concorde. It glows apparently.

Now neither my mum or dad, have ever expressed an interest in Concorde. So why my cousin has bought this monstrosity is beyond me. My mum informs me it’s too big for the wall (and therefore I’m guessing the bin), so they’ve got to buy something large to display it. A skip isn’t appropriate allegedly. A WhatsApped photo of it confirms my fears. Not only is it virtually life size, the bin is far too small.

When the fateful day comes they leave this mortal coil, who’s th nutsack who’s got to get rid of offending artwork? Moi

Anyone want a picture of Concorde?

[Tenbury]

^^.

[dasnutnock3]

My two little shitbags outdid themselves this Mother’s Day. Neither said a f*cking thing until their mum reminded them. My eldest huffed when I asked if she’d even made her a cup of tea (she hadn’t, obviously).

[Greatest Cockney Rip Off]

If it's a cough and a cold, try this:

1. Grate an onion
2. Cover that with demerara sugar, and
3. Leave for an hour or so, before drinking down in one the brown liquid that comes out of the onion.

It doesn't taste all that good, but it definitely counteracts the swelling you've probably got from any coughing.

Not so much coughing mate, just headache, blocked/runny nose whenever it feels like it and general lethargy. Had it a week, it's not Covid as I've tested and it just won't go away.

[bonzosbeard]

My two little shitbags outdid themselves this Mother’s Day. Neither said a f*cking thing until their mum reminded them. My eldest huffed when I asked if she’d even made her a cup of tea (she hadn’t, obviously).

Told the adult boy (stepson) he needs to get flowers for his mum on the Thursday. Ignored my message. I had bought him and sister a card. 11am and him still in bed and after I made wife coffee and breakfast I thought I better get flowers. Got home to find he had finally gone out to buy flowers.

As you can guess I'm the one to blame for ruining mothers day for getting a monk on with them both.

Next year I'm doing sweet FA. Not talking about it or engaging.

I might f off to pub early days.

[ageing hammer]

Trying to buy pears in out local supermarket. Nearly every pear has nail marks in it from some **** testing if they are soft. disgusting bastards.

I often stand behind some cow at the meat section delayed for ten minutes while she picks up every single pack of chicken breasts and examines each one meticulously.

FFS they are a multipack of 5 chicken breasts they are all the ****ing same, just pick up one and move out of the way.

[Dover KUMB fan]

My two little shitbags outdid themselves this Mother’s Day. Neither said a f*cking thing until their mum reminded them. My eldest huffed when I asked if she’d even made her a cup of tea (she hadn’t, obviously).

This.
I don't think neither of the missus kids even mentioned it let alone made any effort at all. She didn't say anything, but I know it must be pretty crushing for her.
It must be a generation thing as I've always been mortified if I missed a birthday or mothers / fathers day etc. I'm lucky in the sense that my own daughter doesn't miss a thing.

[Mega Ron]

My two little shitbags outdid themselves this Mother’s Day. Neither said a f*cking thing until their mum reminded them. My eldest huffed when I asked if she’d even made her a cup of tea (she hadn’t, obviously).

Massive rookie error there. It is not about what the children get for their mother. It is about what you do for her. That includes making sure the horrible c**** fawn over her and the miracle of her being: (1) when the dragon decides the time is appropriate to pretty much sneak downstairs to catch everyone off guard, and (2) for most of the day.

Every day is mother's day. It is. We all know it.

[Burnley Hammer]

I am genuinely crap at remembering dates. I'm 47 years old and still can't remember the exact dates of my mum and dads birthday. Mothers Day, Fathers Day, Pancake day, Easter, whatever... I couldn't tell you when they are. For some reason I've always been able to easily remember the date of my brothers birthday - but that's about it. I have to stop and really think a while to even remember the dates of my kids birthdays, and even then I'm not 100% sure I've got it right. I would use a calendar but I usually forget to look at those too.

[dasnutnock3]

It is not about what the children get for their mother. It is about what you do for her.

Did all that - got some flowers and a card "from" the kids, cleaned her car (and fixed the rear cup holder they'd managed to destroy), did some taxi duties, and made a magnificent supper (prime rib, hand cut chips, diane sauce etc). The total lack of effort from the kids was appalling.

[dasnutnock3]

still can't remember the exact dates of my mum and dads birthday

I only managed to learn my olds' birthdays when I was 18 and my dad lent me some luggage with combination locks on them that were set to their birth dates.

[Hummer_I_mean_Hammer]

^^^^ Burnley, same here.

What I have done is used my kids birthdays as passwords for things like netflix, or amazon (parental passwords). I found that this has helped me quite a bit.

[djclipz]

A couple of things from the weekend:

1. People that insist you have to get up and dance at a wedding, especially when it is to **** music and with a bunch of ppl that I don't know.
2. Baby elephants staying in the room directly above mine in a hotel that wake up and bounce around the room at 7am on a Sunday morning. I've actually had this the last 2 times I've stayed at a hotel. My main request is usually nowhere near the lifts but I think I need to change that to need a top floor room from now on.

[-DL-]

Massive rookie error there. It is not about what the children get for their mother. It is about what you do for her. That includes making sure the horrible ***** fawn over her and the miracle of her being: (1) when the dragon decides the time is appropriate to pretty much sneak downstairs to catch everyone off guard, and (2) for most of the day.

Every day is mother's day. It is. We all know it.

Here, here

I'd arranged to come to Kent for my boy's Mum for Mothers Day, and it was pre-arranged that as I got close that I would peel off to McDonalds and pick up a breakfast for all of us.

I stopped off in a lay-by at about half 8 and sent a text saying I need your orders for breakfast, I'm not far.

I was then greeted with a reply that said 'Yes, and I need a lay-in, forget breakfast'.

Was a kick in the teeth to be honest, so just bought myself and my son something and she got the hump with it.

Tough ****ing ****, I didn't need to be responded to like I'm a twat and trying to do something half decent. She then started blubbing because my son did nothing for her, and had a pop at me for not doing anything for her - although she was unaware there were chocolates, and flowers and a teddy bear thingy in the car ready for my son to give her - but the moment hadn't come around to give them due to her being a melodramatic drama queen.

[vietnammer]

Well, modern inventions like Mother's Day are horribly prone to being charades. I was in my thirties when I realised that I'd never thanked my Mum for a single meal, just took it for granted, might have bought the odd card or so though.