Things you've always wanted to know......

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S-H
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Post by S-H »

ironilunga wrote: Mon Jun 13, 2022 10:17 am You decide to do a naked parachute jump and shortly after exiting the aeroplane you are so blown away by the experience you become sexually aroused. You reduce altitude and your parachute opens as planned. However, as you descend further towards your landing spot you are thrown wildly off course by violent gusts of wind. You plummet towards earth still in a state of arousal. Below is a nudist beach and one particular nudist sunbather is lying on their front to tan their back. You hurtle towards them and freakishly land up them.

Has a crime been committed?
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Hummer_I_mean_Hammer
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Post by Hummer_I_mean_Hammer »

ironilunga wrote: Mon Jun 13, 2022 10:17 am You decide to do a naked parachute jump and shortly after exiting the aeroplane you are so blown away by the experience you become sexually aroused. You reduce altitude and your parachute opens as planned. However, as you descend further towards your landing spot you are thrown wildly off course by violent gusts of wind. You plummet towards earth still in a state of arousal. Below is a nudist beach and one particular nudist sunbather is lying on their front to tan their back. You hurtle towards them and freakishly land up them.

Has a crime been committed?
You forgot to mention that you're just asking for a friend.
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alf git
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Post by alf git »

ironilunga wrote: Mon Jun 13, 2022 10:17 am You decide to do a naked parachute jump and shortly after exiting the aeroplane you are so blown away by the experience you become sexually aroused. You reduce altitude and your parachute opens as planned. However, as you descend further towards your landing spot you are thrown wildly off course by violent gusts of wind. You plummet towards earth still in a state of arousal. Below is a nudist beach and one particular nudist sunbather is lying on their front to tan their back. You hurtle towards them and freakishly land up them.

Has a crime been committed?
Do you need a lawyer?
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ironilunga
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Post by ironilunga »

alf git wrote: Mon Jun 13, 2022 7:39 pm Do you need a lawyer?
Well that is the question Alf;

Was the intention when stepping onto that aeroplane to end up in the nudist? If the answer is no then isn’t it simply an awful accident? This ruling of course would be scant consolation to the bather who has been significantly imposed upon and may argue some form of reparations be meted out.

Its a tricky one.
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Post by alf git »

ironilunga wrote: Mon Jun 13, 2022 9:04 pm Well that is the question Alf;

Was the intention when stepping onto that aeroplane to end up in the nudist? If the answer is no then isn’t it simply an awful accident? This ruling of course would be scant consolation to the bather who has been significantly imposed upon and may argue some form of reparations be meted out.

Its a tricky one.
Can't you buy him some flowers?
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Post by chelmsfordhammer91 »

ironilunga wrote: Mon Jun 13, 2022 9:04 pm Well that is the question Alf;

Was the intention when stepping onto that aeroplane to end up in the nudist? If the answer is no then isn’t it simply an awful accident? This ruling of course would be scant consolation to the bather who has been significantly imposed upon and may argue some form of reparations be meted out.

Its a tricky one.
I think the nudist would want you out of them first!

My best mate is a barrister, proper high court and international court stuff, I'll ask him as his training must have covered this sort of thing.
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Post by Samba »

ironilunga wrote: Mon Jun 13, 2022 10:17 am You decide to do a naked parachute jump and shortly after exiting the aeroplane you are so blown away by the experience you become sexually aroused. You reduce altitude and your parachute opens as planned. However, as you descend further towards your landing spot you are thrown wildly off course by violent gusts of wind. You plummet towards earth still in a state of arousal. Below is a nudist beach and one particular nudist sunbather is lying on their front to tan their back. You hurtle towards them and freakishly land up them.

Has a crime been committed?
No but it does sound like a world first..
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ironilunga
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Post by ironilunga »

Samba wrote: Tue Jun 14, 2022 1:17 am No but it does sound like a world first..
You may well be right.

The thing I hadn’t mentioned was that the naked jump was a tandem and the result was some sort of horrific non-consensual turducken.
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thamesideiron
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Post by thamesideiron »

Why when you drop something..Coin,ring,Screw...does it roll under something..fridge,washing machine,sofa,bed,sometimes
disappearing off the face of the earth....yet when you drop it deliberately it just falls at your feet..
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Post by CMNinja »

Calvin Harris - what's going on there then? Rita Ora, Taylor Swift and Vick Hope.

Apologies for a retrograde seemingly chauvinist post but, honestly, he must be an amazing bloke.
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Post by Jonah »

Its the music and scene Ninja.

Helping normal looking DJ blokes (and gingers ;)) since the 80s. :)

Wont be long til Dua Lipa sees sense and jumps on board.
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Post by Jonah »

thamesideiron wrote: Thu Jun 16, 2022 6:26 pm Why when you drop something..Coin,ring,Screw...does it roll under something..fridge,washing machine,sofa,bed,sometimes
disappearing off the face of the earth....
Or dropping your phone, 5ft away from the pool. Dink, dink, plop........ :swear:


Edit.......twice. :oops:
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Post by dodgy dave »

Every summer when I go to work there's loads of birds on the road especially pigeons (who are to thick to move sometimes ). Why?
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Post by Samba »

dodgy dave wrote: Fri Jun 17, 2022 7:50 pm Every summer when I go to work there's loads of birds on the road especially pigeons (who are to thick to move sometimes ). Why?
Bird-brained..
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Post by Monkeybubbles »

Camber Sands = sandy (clue's in the name)
Winchelsea, just up the road = pebbles
Dungeness, just up the road the other way = pebbles

How's that?

Also, on the subject of beaches, I need some advice about a freak encounter with a parachutist.....
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Post by Samba »

Monkeybubbles wrote: Sat Jun 18, 2022 8:52 amAlso, on the subject of beaches, I need some advice about a freak encounter with a parachutist.....
Were they in a state of arousal at the time?
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Post by ironilunga »

Monkeybubbles wrote: Sat Jun 18, 2022 8:52 am Also, on the subject of beaches, I need some advice about a freak encounter with a parachutist.....
😂😂😂
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Post by vietnammer »

ironilunga wrote: Mon Jun 13, 2022 10:17 am You decide to do a naked parachute jump ....Has a crime been committed?
Maybe not, according to Iranian Mullahs

https://foreignpolicy.com/2012/04/23/th ... bedsheets/
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Post by Turns to Stone »

My son starts school next year and as an option, he has to choose whether he wants to learn the ukelele or to skateboard. As a father I have two questions:-

1. Which will cost me more money?
2. Which will get him more chicks/dudes?
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Re: Things you've always wanted to know......

Post by S-H »

Ukelele.

I used to skateboard, it's an absolute sausage fest.

Edit: Which he may like of coarse..

How about figure skating?
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