I love football, almost as much asI love West Ham, but I genuinely look forward to the summer break, it's like the annual holiday.... and I really like cricket.davids cross wrote: ↑Fri May 13, 2022 2:12 pm Serious question.
Does anyone get depressed about the ending of the football season....?
Not just a bit down but a real depression about it...?
The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).
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- Tenbury
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).
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- The Old Man of Storr
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).
Going back to Harlow Hammer's post -
It's something I went through more than 20 years ago - I'd have been in my early 40s - you seem to be at a crossroads in life , you're no longer young as such but you don't feel old - I think it's a time in your life when relationships face their biggest challenge , when you're at most danger of getting divorced - people talk of the Male Menopause and I'm a firm believer in it , not a menopause as such but a time in your life when you begin to panic and think ' Is this it then , is this all there is ? ' . That excitement of youth is over and you feel that all you have to look forward to is old age , it's all downhill from now on sort of thing .
I realise this isn't much of a consolation to hear but it really does get better after you pass your mid-50s - I've never felt more relaxed or content with my lot than during those 10 years leading up to my mid-60s .
It's something I went through more than 20 years ago - I'd have been in my early 40s - you seem to be at a crossroads in life , you're no longer young as such but you don't feel old - I think it's a time in your life when relationships face their biggest challenge , when you're at most danger of getting divorced - people talk of the Male Menopause and I'm a firm believer in it , not a menopause as such but a time in your life when you begin to panic and think ' Is this it then , is this all there is ? ' . That excitement of youth is over and you feel that all you have to look forward to is old age , it's all downhill from now on sort of thing .
I realise this isn't much of a consolation to hear but it really does get better after you pass your mid-50s - I've never felt more relaxed or content with my lot than during those 10 years leading up to my mid-60s .
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).
I'm sh*t at advice....is there anything else you can plan your weekends around in the same way you do football? Cricket for example or fishing? Spending 90 minutes with your family?davids cross wrote: ↑Fri May 13, 2022 2:12 pm Serious question.
Does anyone get depressed about the ending of the football season....?
Not just a bit down but a real depression about it...?
- -DL-
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).
When I was a regular attendee, I suppose I did go on a bit of a downer - though not so sure I'd call it a real depression per se.davids cross wrote: ↑Fri May 13, 2022 2:12 pm Serious question.
Does anyone get depressed about the ending of the football season....?
Not just a bit down but a real depression about it...?
Now, I see the off season as a time to go out more, enjoy the weather, take the family out, go away for a break.
Granted, the last 2 summers prior to this one have been everything I hate - massive crowds, too many people - as a result of overseas travel being out of the question, and people having no choice but to holiday in The UK.
Hopefully people see this in context in how it's meant, but I do kinda regret having my youngest when I did - I'm at the stage of my life where I don't really want to do stuff that has to keep a 10 year old occupied. Maybe that's to do with my overall fitness etc after what I've been through, and the fact going on rides at theme arks and stuff I'm not recommended to do because of my bag (which is no bad thing to tell you the truth). I'd rather go away and chill - visit monuments, take in rolling hills and mountains and just walk with my camera - but that's really not him at all, and it creates merry hell.
All my other kids are grown up and spread their wings, so they're easy - but obviously, in the grand scheme of things, I wouldn't change Isaac for the world - and hopefully people understand the context of the above, rather than interpret it as me saying I wish we'd never had him - as that's as far from the truth as you could possibly get.
I'm actually dreading our next holiday, as it's on a proper Haven site, and the pitfalls that come with it. I find them tacky, annoying, get annoyed with being woken up late by pissed families coming back to their accommodation, that sort of thing - but, at the end of the day it was cheap, and it was either that or no holiday at all this year, as if the caravan wasn't owned by a charity that does absolutely amazing rates for families with special needs children there's no way we would have been able to afford it.
We have looked in to taking both cars with us, so they can do their thing and I can do mine, but the cost will be far too prohibitive.
Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).
On my phone so excuse quoting the whole thing just to pick up from the having kids when you did, 100% get where your coming from. Mrs wanted our first before she was 30 and now when the youngest is 10 we will be what 43 Nd 42 so it's a little easier.-DL- wrote: ↑Sat May 14, 2022 11:37 am When I was a regular attendee, I suppose I did go on a bit of a downer - though not so sure I'd call it a real depression per se.
Now, I see the off season as a time to go out more, enjoy the weather, take the family out, go away for a break.
Granted, the last 2 summers prior to this one have been everything I hate - massive crowds, too many people - as a result of overseas travel being out of the question, and people having no choice but to holiday in The UK.
Hopefully people see this in context in how it's meant, but I do kinda regret having my youngest when I did - I'm at the stage of my life where I don't really want to do stuff that has to keep a 10 year old occupied. Maybe that's to do with my overall fitness etc after what I've been through, and the fact going on rides at theme arks and stuff I'm not recommended to do because of my bag (which is no bad thing to tell you the truth). I'd rather go away and chill - visit monuments, take in rolling hills and mountains and just walk with my camera - but that's really not him at all, and it creates merry hell.
All my other kids are grown up and spread their wings, so they're easy - but obviously, in the grand scheme of things, I wouldn't change Isaac for the world - and hopefully people understand the context of the above, rather than interpret it as me saying I wish we'd never had him - as that's as far from the truth as you could possibly get.
I'm actually dreading our next holiday, as it's on a proper Haven site, and the pitfalls that come with it. I find them tacky, annoying, get annoyed with being woken up late by pissed families coming back to their accommodation, that sort of thing - but, at the end of the day it was cheap, and it was either that or no holiday at all this year, as if the caravan wasn't owned by a charity that does absolutely amazing rates for families with special needs children there's no way we would have been able to afford it.
We have looked in to taking both cars with us, so they can do their thing and I can do mine, but the cost will be far too prohibitive.
Saying that sometimes wish we had started at 25 and we're now on the older phase but such is life.
- davids cross
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).
Re : Football season ending.
It affected me once, that's why I thought about raising the subject.
I now realise that rather than it just being about the football it was actually just the tipping point for other worries in my life. And I think this must be true for very many people.
That football fix is gone......them moments that take you away from your worries......that crutch that has been there every week (the football) has gone. And you are left with the problems and no football fix....no escape.
I'm lucky.....I love all sport. Tennis, the golf, racing......all the things that fill the summer. But I know it's difficult for some...it has to be.
Good luck all. You are not alone.
It affected me once, that's why I thought about raising the subject.
I now realise that rather than it just being about the football it was actually just the tipping point for other worries in my life. And I think this must be true for very many people.
That football fix is gone......them moments that take you away from your worries......that crutch that has been there every week (the football) has gone. And you are left with the problems and no football fix....no escape.
I'm lucky.....I love all sport. Tennis, the golf, racing......all the things that fill the summer. But I know it's difficult for some...it has to be.
Good luck all. You are not alone.
- Tenbury
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).
I really know this feeling, but it's the actual seasons thatcbring this out for me (rather than the football season). F'rinstance, I'm on a massive high right now as the swifts havecome back to see me this week (though worryingly down, again, in number) and I know full well that come the end of September I will be in bits again. Without doubt, wether its just old age or my pathetic MH probs becoming more acute, every year these feelings become worse.davids cross wrote: ↑Sat May 14, 2022 1:01 pm Re : Football season ending.
It affected me once, that's why I thought about raising the subject.
I now realise that rather than it just being about the football it was actually just the tipping point for other worries in my life. And I think this must be true for very many people.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).
Football takes your mind off life for a few hours every weekend. I used to live for gigs and matches. Now I rarely do either.
I’m 42. I think I’ve just grown up and moved on as a person. Travel and my creative writing mean just as much to me.
I’m 42. I think I’ve just grown up and moved on as a person. Travel and my creative writing mean just as much to me.
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Might it not be better to begin facing up to these worries or problems rather than possibly ignoring them ?
As a certain Mr Hughie Green might say....I mean this most sincerely .
While I can understand going to the Footie as a means of escaping a humdrum job using it as a means to escape your worries seems to me as prolonging the inevitable , sometimes we have to face up to them , deal with them and solve them .
Big Hugs xx
- The Old Man of Storr
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).
Correct me if I'm wrong but from what I'm reading you're saying that Football is a way of you escaping your worries and in summer you use other sports or pastimes to replace football as a means to escape your worries ?davids cross wrote: ↑Sat May 14, 2022 1:01 pm Re : Football season ending.
It affected me once, that's why I thought about raising the subject.
I now realise that rather than it just being about the football it was actually just the tipping point for other worries in my life. And I think this must be true for very many people.
That football fix is gone......them moments that take you away from your worries......that crutch that has been there every week (the football) has gone. And you are left with the problems and no football fix....no escape.
I'm lucky.....I love all sport. Tennis, the golf, racing......all the things that fill the summer. But I know it's difficult for some...it has to be.
Good luck all. You are not alone.
Might it not be better to begin facing up to these worries or problems rather than possibly ignoring them ?
As a certain Mr Hughie Green might say....I mean this most sincerely .
While I can understand going to the Footie as a means of escaping a humdrum job using it as a means to escape your worries seems to me as prolonging the inevitable , sometimes we have to face up to them , deal with them and solve them .
Big Hugs xx
- Tenbury
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).
Pete,
With the greatest respect (and a belated welcome back to this unreality ), for many, IMO, life is just an eternal search for distraction. 'Confronting' your problems just makes money for the wannabe/genuine shrinks that seem to infest modern life.
Illness/poverty/conflict are just a given. There are decent things that can distract, by and large they don't involve human beings.
With the greatest respect (and a belated welcome back to this unreality ), for many, IMO, life is just an eternal search for distraction. 'Confronting' your problems just makes money for the wannabe/genuine shrinks that seem to infest modern life.
Illness/poverty/conflict are just a given. There are decent things that can distract, by and large they don't involve human beings.
- davids cross
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).
I largely agree with Tenbury to some degree.....
Life is just a search for crutches to get us through life. We use many things as crutches, we just don't realise it.
Kids, wives, families, work, interests, sports, love, pets, friends.....etc, etc.......they are all crutches to some/many.
And are crutches that underpin our happiness.....our well being. Take them (or some) of them away and we are all vulnerable.
Not every worry in life needs help or counselling . But instead a distraction or interest becomes vital and important........and it's own therapy
In more serious cases naturally a therapist or doctor becomes vital. But the saying "the devil makes work for idol hands".....holds a great deal of truth.
Life is just a search for crutches to get us through life. We use many things as crutches, we just don't realise it.
Kids, wives, families, work, interests, sports, love, pets, friends.....etc, etc.......they are all crutches to some/many.
And are crutches that underpin our happiness.....our well being. Take them (or some) of them away and we are all vulnerable.
Not every worry in life needs help or counselling . But instead a distraction or interest becomes vital and important........and it's own therapy
In more serious cases naturally a therapist or doctor becomes vital. But the saying "the devil makes work for idol hands".....holds a great deal of truth.
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- The Old Man of Storr
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).
I was just trying to be helpful .
' Worries ' can be serious or they can be ' everyday ' run of the mill worries we all face - I guess I was just being nosey .
As you were .
' Worries ' can be serious or they can be ' everyday ' run of the mill worries we all face - I guess I was just being nosey .
As you were .
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).
Bump too important to be 3 pages back .
Hope people are OK.
Hope people are OK.
- hammer etc
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).
These things can work both ways. For instance if your children are doing well at school or if they are struggling. I your spouce is healthy or not. If you get on with your family or not. If you are happy and earn enough in your work or not. Love, if it is returned or not. Some people will sale through while others will struggle. The most important thing is getting help when you need it.davids cross wrote: ↑Mon May 16, 2022 1:03 pm I largely agree with Tenbury to some degree.....
Life is just a search for crutches to get us through life. We use many things as crutches, we just don't realise it.
Kids, wives, families, work, interests, sports, love, pets, friends.....etc, etc.......they are all crutches to some/many.
And are crutches that underpin our happiness.....our well being. Take them (or some) of them away and we are all vulnerable.
Not every worry in life needs help or counselling . But instead a distraction or interest becomes vital and important........and it's own therapy
In more serious cases naturally a therapist or doctor becomes vital. But the saying "the devil makes work for idol hands".....holds a great deal of truth.
Think about winning £184 million. Best thing that could ever happen you would think, but it could also can bring misfortune.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).
Nice bump.rigoberts song wrote: ↑Fri May 20, 2022 10:38 pm Bump too important to be 3 pages back .
Hope people are OK.
And whilst we are here, how are you doing Mr Song?
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).
That amount of money would keep you distracted for quite sometime, would it make you a happier person in the long run?hammer etc wrote: ↑Sat May 21, 2022 10:47 pm
Think about winning £184 million. Best thing that could ever happen you would think, but it could also can bring misfortune.
Somehow I doubt it, of course not being skint helps but having money comes with many pitfalls.
The happiest people I have known are those that are content with their lot, no matter how big or small their lot is.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).
When the BBC go to Africa for a children in need shoot, the children there are all happy and laughing, if they are not ill, starving. Give them a football and a piece of rough land and they are happy to have a kick around.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).
We're so caught up with our own problems we tend to forget what other folk are going through -
5 minutes back I was reminded that we haven't heard back from one of our old friends on here -
Jen's having a bit of a clear out and she's going round the house looking for stuff to throw away , she came up to me holding a bag saying ' What's this ? ' ......
It was the beautiful camera strap I received from Mega Ron in the Kumb Secret Santa - I put it in my camera bag to remind me I need to fix it on to my D7000 .
If you're reading this , I hope you're ok , Ron .....don't stay away too long , mate ...and thank you again , it' was a really thoughtful gift .
5 minutes back I was reminded that we haven't heard back from one of our old friends on here -
Jen's having a bit of a clear out and she's going round the house looking for stuff to throw away , she came up to me holding a bag saying ' What's this ? ' ......
It was the beautiful camera strap I received from Mega Ron in the Kumb Secret Santa - I put it in my camera bag to remind me I need to fix it on to my D7000 .
If you're reading this , I hope you're ok , Ron .....don't stay away too long , mate ...and thank you again , it' was a really thoughtful gift .
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).
Hi Mushy Not too bad .thanks for asking. Sorry for delay in replying only just saw the post.
Had my ex down two weeks ago then got a few msgs
From youngest daughter out the blue .Had my eldest look at me on linked in.Doesn't sound much but when theres been no contact for a very long time it's heartening.
Deleted my profile on the dating site which was fueling my addiction. Weakened on Tuesday and did a stupid 300 mile round trip for a one night stand and bonk with one of 5 women I'm in touch with .Going to ditch the rest .
Determined to get on the straight and narrow with my ex who's a great person and whom I treated badly by cheating .If I can get my act together then I'll see my daughters and enjoy them growing up.
Being a philandering sex addict is as bad as being a alcoholic or gambling drug addict.
I'm lucky that I'm being given another chance we've planned dinner next weds and a gig early June.
Got to fight all offers I get though .
Sorry to ramble on when there's people in worse predicaments than me my heart and support goes out to you .
Had my ex down two weeks ago then got a few msgs
From youngest daughter out the blue .Had my eldest look at me on linked in.Doesn't sound much but when theres been no contact for a very long time it's heartening.
Deleted my profile on the dating site which was fueling my addiction. Weakened on Tuesday and did a stupid 300 mile round trip for a one night stand and bonk with one of 5 women I'm in touch with .Going to ditch the rest .
Determined to get on the straight and narrow with my ex who's a great person and whom I treated badly by cheating .If I can get my act together then I'll see my daughters and enjoy them growing up.
Being a philandering sex addict is as bad as being a alcoholic or gambling drug addict.
I'm lucky that I'm being given another chance we've planned dinner next weds and a gig early June.
Got to fight all offers I get though .
Sorry to ramble on when there's people in worse predicaments than me my heart and support goes out to you .
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).
It really can be, rs. Really admire you for being honest & having insight about it. I know a lot of us have joked about it with you in the past (which you always took in the way it was intended) but I'm also sure we all on this thread appreciate the serious side of it.rigoberts song wrote: ↑Thu May 26, 2022 10:35 pmBeing a philandering sex addict is as bad as being a alcoholic or gambling drug addict.
And so pleased to hear you're on good terms with your ex.
I've been really struggling with depression the last few weeks, well even more than usual. What didn't help was losing the use of my laptop last week. F*ck knows what went wrong with it, I ended up with what I thought was the 'blue screen of death'. It wasn't blue apparently (I'm colour blind), more of a mauve or purple b*stard. Just meant I had completely no online access. Partly my fault for still not getting round to getting a smartphone.
Still, back now & a lot of bloatware got rid of that I didn't realise I had.