The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

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The Old Man of Storr
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by The Old Man of Storr »

Cuenca 'ammer wrote: Fri Dec 31, 2021 9:53 pm 'twer tongue in cheek 'cause I'm the jealous type..

:winker:

Which is funny , coz that's exactly where Rigobert's tongue is this very minute .
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by wolf359 »

S-H wrote: Fri Dec 31, 2021 11:13 pm Tomorrow is just another day.

:heart:
And three more points.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by rigoberts song »

I've got a very pissed off Nurse here she heard me making plans with the league one chairman's wife ..
Excruciating atmosphere she can't drive home to Essex from Devon as shes drunk 2 glasses of wine .
Wishing away the hrs til she goes .
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by rigoberts song »

Its 100% true Tomos
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by The Old Man of Storr »

rigoberts song wrote: Sat Jan 01, 2022 9:52 pm Its 100% true Tomos
Never doubted you .


Happy New Year , mate . :wine: :newthumb:
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by rigoberts song »

All quiet on the western front
In my spare room in disgrace
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Samba »

rigoberts song wrote: Sat Jan 01, 2022 10:25 pm All quiet on the western front
In my spare room in disgrace
Dis Grace? Is that her name?
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by southbrishammer »

The Mental Health thread turns into a Carry On film from the 1970s....
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by last.caress »

Rigoberts, I've been reading back over your swordplay shenanigans. They're a lot of fun but, without wanting to be a humourless killjoy, do they constitute a mental health issue? Wouldn't these tales be better served by a separate thread of their own elsewhere in the Snug? We've had zero complaints, this is just me thinking aloud, but I'm ever-so-slightly concerned that this thread's taken such a trivial turn over the last several pages, that there may be guys with actual mental health issues who mightn't feel they can post now in case they disrupt the more typically Snug-like tone which has crept in here. You know?

I may be way off-base here and, if so, I apologise in advance; to Rigoberts, and to all. I just don't want this thread to devolve into another load of old Snug b*llocks (I mean that in its best sense btw) and to stop being a safe place for members who might be genuinely struggling.

:newthumb:

Of course, if knobrot sets in you'll probably want to shift the entire conversation to the Physical Health thread asap, you dirty hobbit. :)
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by S-H »

Well said Elsie, I've been thinking exactly the same.

This thread is the shining light of this forum, a real credit, it's absolutely huge, and so very important, so it's been a real shame to see the tone lowered over the last few pages, I hope it hasn't put anyone off posting.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by rigoberts song »

Yes you're 100% right sincere apologies SH I've never fallen foul of the mods on here before And I genuinely feel guilty as there are people having a tough time as I myself have . people like DL TOMOS and mushy have kept me going literally.
Apologies again Sorry to all. This thread is for those who need love and support. RS
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by last.caress »

rigoberts song wrote: Sun Jan 02, 2022 8:48 am I've never fallen foul of the mods on here before And I genuinely feel guilty
:newthumb: Rest assured sir you haven't fallen foul of the mods here, either. I wasn't moderating, it was purely imo. And I'm massively grateful for your response. Please don't feel guilty. xx
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by OFT »

Whereas , for me at least, Rigoberts 'antics' have proved to be a welcome distraction from my current 'issues' it's right that this place remains the welcoming sanctuary that it undoubtably is.


L.C , Rigoberts,
Good work :newthumb:


Best wishes everyone.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by rigoberts song »

Good luck with your issues OFT I hope 2022 becomes easier for you.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by The Old Man of Storr »

OFT wrote: Sun Jan 02, 2022 9:52 am Whereas , for me at least, Rigoberts 'antics' have proved to be a welcome distraction from my current 'issues' it's right that this place remains the welcoming sanctuary that it undoubtably i



This is how I saw it too - a welcome distraction , albeit temporary , a sort of a brief Christmas respite from our collective problems , I'm pretty sure Rigobert never meant to cause any harm or belittle this wonderful thread in any way - we cope in different ways .

Having said that , well done LC for making sure the standards of this thread remain as high as ever . :newthumb:


Stay Well , Everyone .
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Turns to Stone »

Morning All,

I hope that everyone is feeling ok. I just wanted to share something with you that has recently helped me. I've been struggling at work for the last few years (for loads of reasons), but the main one is just poor management and lack of support and recognition and the impact that that has had on my feelings of self-worth. To cut a long story short, I ended up having a bit of a panic attack at work about 4 weeks ago (fortunately outside whilst on the phone to my wife and I was able to pull myself together), but the end result was that I did something that I should have done a long time ago and sought some help.

I started talking to a therapist soon after and so far we have had 3 sessions. We have our 4th tomorrow. During our last session, just before Christmas, I shared some things with him about my childhood and my parents, and before I knew it I was sitting at my laptop weeping. I've known for a long time that some of the things that shaped me as a child have impacted my work and my current relationships and the therapy that I'm receiving is really helping me to understand them and how to deal with them.

My biggest fear in life is that I will be a **** dad to my kids. And the fact that the relationship I had with my parents and particularly my mum was a very difficult one is something that I have always used as evidence to prove why I will inevitably let my kids down. Verbalising this with an independent person has been massively valuable and I'm already seeing a change in my moods and my outlook.

I think I also thought that seeking help was an acknowledgement of failure on my part. That if I need help, it merely confirms all the things that I have long suspected that I'm incapable of being any use to anyone. Owning that was a big step and one that I think was a big barrier for me. I had reluctantly tried therapy before, and it didn't work, and cost money that we didn't have, so I've been hesitant to seek it again, but I just wanted to share with you all that at this difficult time of the year it's something that I am doing and it's helping me.

Men have a habit of burying their heads in the sand. As my wife says - too many men would rather 'die on their horse, than be seen on their knees' and I know that is definitely something that I have felt before.

There are some terrific people out there, and in here. So just put your hand up if you need some help. Let's face it....we all do.

Stay healthy everyone.

:muscle:
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by S-H »

More power to you, Stoney.

:wolfy:
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by last.caress »

Turns to Stone wrote: Tue Jan 04, 2022 11:41 am My biggest fear in life is that I will be a **** dad to my kids. And the fact that the relationship I had with my parents and particularly my mum was a very difficult one is something that I have always used as evidence to prove why I will inevitably let my kids down.
My personal belief is that every parent who has anything about them has at least a degree of this going on. I worry I've failed my kids, I worry I'm failing them right now in a smorgasbord of ways, and I worry I'm going to fail them in the future. I worry I'm not up to the task, or worthy of the title "dad". I worry I'm not doing enough. Conversely and simultaneously, I worry I'm doing too much like a mad Draconian control freak. I worry they hate me. I worry they're going to hate me. I worry they're going to die. Then, I worry about how they're going to die, and what I'm going to do. Scenario after scenario after scenario.

And then, when sanity returns to a manageable extent, I rationalize that this is just my way of subconsciously self-assessing, making sure I'm on the right track, looking for ways to cope, to manage, to improve. You know?

I can't envision one single scenario where it might transpire that you'll be a **** dad to your kids though, TTS. Not a one. :newthumb:
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by DrVenk »

Turns to Stone wrote: Tue Jan 04, 2022 11:41 am I started talking to a therapist soon after and so far we have had 3 sessions. We have our 4th tomorrow. During our last session, just before Christmas, I shared some things with him about my childhood and my parents, and before I knew it I was sitting at my laptop weeping. I've known for a long time that some of the things that shaped me as a child have impacted my work and my current relationships and the therapy that I'm receiving is really helping me to understand them and how to deal with them.
Ah mate, I am so glad therapy is helping unlock this stuff buried deep. It's a painful process and it takes some stones (no pun) to front it and work through it.
Turns to Stone wrote: Tue Jan 04, 2022 11:41 am My biggest fear in life is that I will be a **** dad to my kids.
Because you fear it and talk about it, all of my money goes on you being a cracking dad. That fear suggests you'll never take them or your role as a dad for granted :newthumb:
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Tenbury »

I did a whole load of meetings with a shrink last year(some may recall she had a tremendous rear end) and, apart from the fact that I miss her a lot, the one thing that springs to mind is how much I was banging on about letting my kids down.. I think it's the one thing above all else that makes life impossible.
But how much can you do? Mine are now 22,17 and 15. I've never had much cash since they've been born, but they've not gone hungry or cold, but though they deny it constantly, not having all the stuff some of their mates have must be lousyfor them. They all seem to work quite hard(they've been taught by example, perhaps, what happens when you don't) but I worry they're not happy, and having lost one the day she was born, I'd do anything to protect those I've still got. That's it though isn't it? You set them up as best you can, then they take their chances with the rest.
Stoney, your kids will be strong, complete, adults. They'll all need to be, given the messed up world we've bequeathed them.
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