The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Samba »

DrVenk wrote: Mon Sep 12, 2022 6:36 pm I'm with you there mate. I suffer from SAD and I've got that empty pit in my stomach feeling. I get it every September, every year. I can do things to take the edge off the SAD as winter progresses, but I know from December to February, I'm going to be a right miserable g*t.
What do you mean from December to February?... :winker:
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by btajim - mcfc »

After the shenanigans with the pelvic abscess, I still couldn’t pass solids and was given a strong set of laxatives. They didn’t work and I was back in hospital on Sunday morning with crippling stomach pains. Since then, I’ve had part of my bowel cut away and am living with a stoma bag at 42.

I’m devastated. Whilst antibiotics saw some liquid stools come out, they were deeply concerned it’s three times with no joy and needed to operate on me to see exactly what’s going on inside. They may be able to put it back together after six months or so but it’s not a promise.

There is a history of bowel problems in the male side of the family. Dad was claimed by bowel cancer in his late 40’s, and whilst I didn’t know him, I believe my grandad had similar issues. He disappeared when mum was young and it took her 50 years to find him. I guess it’s my turn now.

My mental health has taken an absolute battering over this and a nurse has had to sit with me whilst I cried. I never cry. Now I feel a bit better but I just can’t shake off that this is going to be the beginning of the end. I’m ready to fight it but sometimes you just can’t.

Anyone?
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Samba »

I'm so sorry to hear this, Jim.
It's not necessarily the beginning of the end but of course, it's a massive blow to you right now.
Keep going, mate. You've had actual (albeit brutal) treatment now & it might actually be the start of you getting better.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by pablo jaye »

Jim, sorry to hear this too - huge thing to deal with within a relatively short timeframe. No wonder you are all over the place - as Samba says, it might be the start of a new phase for you.

Keep going and all the best.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by ageing hammer »

Sorry to hear this Jim, at least they did something and as the others say it might be a turning point for you. Stay strong we are all there for you mate.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by btajim - mcfc »

Thanks chaps. Being able to walk to the ward toilet and back is a victory today. I’m the most unwell person in our communal room and the youngest; but I’m recovering “upstairs” as well as physically.

None of you will know these people but I’ve lost Keith, Danny, Jo and David from circles of friends over the years. A couple of friends have given it their best shot too.

I can live with a subtle stoma bag. The operation could be reversed one day. If not, it becomes part of my daily routine.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by WHU Independent »

Good to hear that Jim. All the best mate and get well as soon as you can.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by OFT »

Best of luck Jim

A relative, though I suspect older than you :winker: has just had a stoma after much trouble and thinks of it as a blessing in many ways, no pain or worries about what and where she may need to do in a hurry so to speak. She's just come back from Spain and had no probs at all.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by -DL- »

Living with a stoma bag is a piece of cake.

Take it from me, as I think I'm slightly qualified to comment on such matters.

There is no such thing as a 'subtle' stoma bag. It's either a stoma bag or not. Sorry to hear that you're in this position, but there's many, many people out there with stoma bags, mostly for colostomy, and they live full and active lives.

On my website, I have photos of models with colostomy bags - and you'd never know it. Scroll down to the White Rose Collection slideshow.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by btajim - mcfc »

-DL- wrote: Fri Sep 16, 2022 9:40 am Living with a stoma bag is a piece of cake.

Take it from me, as I think I'm slightly qualified to comment on such matters.

There is no such thing as a 'subtle' stoma bag. It's either a stoma bag or not. Sorry to hear that you're in this position, but there's many, many people out there with stoma bags, mostly for colostomy, and they live full and active lives.

On my website, I have photos of models with colostomy bags - and you'd never know it. Scroll down to the White Rose Collection slideshow.
I was expecting contribution from you! I recall reading your many posts when you were really ill and thinking I couldn’t survive mentally and physically like that; but now I know I can. I’m so much more positive now.

There are four of us on this ward and the ice has broken quite easily. I’m by far the youngest but men have had cancer cut out of them and are looking forwards to getting back to their lives.

I’m expecting bowel issues to eventually claim me but there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by Tenbury »

You might surprise yourself, Jim. I've had a few bits ripped out (ileum, etc), had the bag twice (both reversed), all through Crohn's..... I got it @29.... and 38 years later I've still f*ckin got it and over those years I've done a fair bit of living.
I ain't planning on checking out for a bit, neither should you.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by chalks »

I think anyone feeling like things cant get any worse should just take a read of this thread, it tends to put things in perspective

I've been feeling pretty crap for a while, although fortunately havent slipped right back into the place I was a while ago. Yet.

Mine is mainly through severe financial difficulties, and just as I think things cant get any worse I seem to get an almighty wake up call showing me just how bad they actually can get. Its actually frightening isnt it in all honesty. I'm not going to go into details but this cost of living crisis is relentless

One bright spot is I've been headhunted for a new job and have subsequently been offered the position and accepted. Its a salary that we can at long last survive on, maybe even slightly prosper

Surely things shouldnt be like this for someone who's never claimed benefits, worked all there adult life (36 years and counting), and paid all due taxes and contributions? Its scandalous. I have a family to provide for, yet currently have a house with an empty fridge and freezer, although pointless filling it up even if i could, because we have no ****ing electricity

So reading about others health issues kinda makes me feel like I'm a ****er for being in a state of almost constant despair. I'd go as far as saying that I may not be feeling suicidal but I honestly wouldnt be upset if I dropped dead, which isnt an ideal place to be is it? What a ****ing ******** time to be English
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by OFT »

chalks wrote: Fri Sep 16, 2022 1:35 pm I think anyone feeling like things cant get any worse should just take a read of this thread, it tends to put things in perspective

I've been feeling pretty crap for a while, although fortunately havent slipped right back into the place I was a while ago. Yet.

Mine is mainly through severe financial difficulties, and just as I think things cant get any worse I seem to get an almighty wake up call showing me just how bad they actually can get. Its actually frightening isnt it in all honesty. I'm not going to go into details but this cost of living crisis is relentless

One bright spot is I've been headhunted for a new job and have subsequently been offered the position and accepted. Its a salary that we can at long last survive on, maybe even slightly prosper

Surely things shouldnt be like this for someone who's never claimed benefits, worked all there adult life (36 years and counting), and paid all due taxes and contributions? Its scandalous. I have a family to provide for, yet currently have a house with an empty fridge and freezer, although pointless filling it up even if i could, because we have no ****ing electricity

So reading about others health issues kinda makes me feel like I'm a ****er for being in a state of almost constant despair. I'd go as far as saying that I may not be feeling suicidal but I honestly wouldnt be upset if I dropped dead, which isnt an ideal place to be is it? What a ****ing ******** time to be English
No Chalks, things shouldn't be like this.

Congrats and good luck with the new job
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by -DL- »

btajim - mcfc wrote: Fri Sep 16, 2022 11:21 am I was expecting contribution from you! I recall reading your many posts when you were really ill and thinking I couldn’t survive mentally and physically like that; but now I know I can. I’m so much more positive now.
I was really ill, and my mental health suffered greatly - I was bed-bound for almost nine months, with a bladder that could only hold 25ml, and was disintegrating. It was getting the stoma and bag that gave me the new lease of life that I enjoy today. It wasn't the stoma that was making me ill, but it was the stoma that made my life immeasurably better - and you know, actually easier in many ways. I don't ever have to get up for the toilet in the middle of the night, I can drive from Kent to Penrith without stopping, I don't have to worry about almost pissing myself on my bus when the Medway Road Network goes down and it takes 3 hours and more to get from Chatham to Bluewater.

If yours does turn out to be permanent, you'll live with it and you'll wonder what you worries were really for. Of course, it's life changing and you will have body image issues for a while, but I've not spoken to one ostomate that hasn't embraced it in their own kind of way and regretted having it done.

There are plenty of Ostomate support groups out there - there's even Ostomate dating sites - honestly Jim, you'll be fine.

Here's a little memory that made me really quite emotional - and that's standing in the main square in Frankfurt - full of 1000s of West Ham Fans, taking it all in, with UtJ on one side, and my good friend Phil S and his son the other - just savouring the atmosphere - because it was exactly one year to the day from having my bladder out, being able to do that - and I actually got a bit tearful, so slid off and got myself a beer to compose myself. Neither UtJ or Phil had any idea how emotional I was at that point, or as to why I wandered off as they until today where I've just confessed to being an emotional wreck, apart from getting some beers - but believe you me, it was a moment that will stay in my memories forever - and it was all made possible due to Stan - Stan Stoma.

Yep, he even has a name.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by btajim - mcfc »

Tenbury wrote: Fri Sep 16, 2022 12:03 pm You might surprise yourself, Jim. I've had a few bits ripped out (ileum, etc), had the bag twice (both reversed), all through Crohn's..... I got it @29.... and 38 years later I've still f*ckin got it and over those years I've done a fair bit of living.
I ain't planning on checking out for a bit, neither should you.
Rodney.... the world is your lobster..
I’ve had a good chat with one of the specialists this afternoon and consensus is that my op can be reversed after a period of time if things go well. Time is on my side.

The problem is that you don’t tend to know many people who’ve had this let alone hear their story. Our minds can be quite cruel sometimes.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by btajim - mcfc »

-DL- wrote: Fri Sep 16, 2022 2:01 pm but believe you me, it was a moment that will stay in my memories forever - and it was all made possible due to Stan - Stan Stoma.

Yep, he even has a name.
Many conditions are named after a founder or curer. I have Asperger’s Syndrome and it was discovered by Austrian physician… Hans Asperger.

Chalks: Well done on the new job, friend. Those opportunities are often just round the corner and we can be a ball of stress until we find them.

Socially uneasy, mildly depressed and now bowel issues. I’m still me.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by -DL- »

btajim - mcfc wrote: Fri Sep 16, 2022 4:20 pm Many conditions are named after a founder or curer. I have Asperger’s Syndrome and it was discovered by Austrian physician… Hans Asperger.

:crylol:

No, I called my stoma, Stan. Stan Stoma :rofl:
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Post by btajim - mcfc »

The screen on my iPhone is small so I don’t always catch everything.

There was me thinking Stoma won’t make an appearance for Forest this season.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by bristolhammerfc »

Am going through a bit of a crap time myself but reading this reminds me of those worse off.

My youngest daughter has just moved into dorms at University. I am proud of her as I am my eldest who is also at Uni. I am however feeling an emptiness and sadness and fear. My youngest has severe epilepsy and dyspraxia and although the epilepsy is medicated I still lie awake thinking the worst.

Its the first time in 21 years that I have lived alone with my wife. I love her dearly and am looking forward to doing stuff as a couple that we have sacrificed.

Work is a bit rubbish. Massive cut backs and I hate my manager. She has taken me on twice and lost twice but it makes life unpleasant. My colleagues all hate her and she is making work miserable.

Then I read posts by Chalks, DL, Jim etc and think what am I bloody moaning about.

Thanks chaps for putting things in perspective.
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Re: The Mental Health Thread - (Help Contacts in First Post).

Post by btajim - mcfc »

Some people should not manage other people in the workplace. Two of my own over the years have done their very best to destroy my confidence in my own ability by refusing to praise me for anything despite my efficiency and work quality. “K” was an arrogant sociopath and “J” hated the world. It seems amazing that they get employed but c’est la vie. Time to get that CV updated?

Now I look back at things, I’ve realised I’d been unwell for months before the first hospital stay. I’m now on my third. The ileostomy diagnosis should be final and the brutal operation finally sorts the issue. Whilst it’s far from pleasing, I want it all over so I can get back on with life. It hadn’t been great since 2016 in all honesty but the rebuild since 2020’s breakdown is alright.
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